InappropriateUsername
Fapstronaut
Interesting. Many sex addict therapists/docs/experts say that sex addicts aren’t addicted to orgS, but rather the constant stream of feel-good chemicals that precede orgasm. Biologically, orgasm turns off that stream via other chemicals/physiological response. Addicts feel like ahit after orgasm b/c the “dopamine stream” has shut off and their bodies are trying to get back into equilibrium (hard or impossible if you’re always edging, looking at porn, etc).I’m an orgasm addict. Realizing that helped me to break free from porn and sex addiction. My life has changed enormously. I have a girlfriend now, for several years.
When I don’t have orgasms, I feel better. If I go 100+ days, I feel great!
If I have an orgasm, I feel bad. Maybe a few minutes of euphoria, but then I feel weak, and irritable. I feel like I have truly lost some vitality. I feel empty.
I’m tempted to edge, and seek out sexual stimuli, to build up more sexual stimuli. The rush of that orgasm makes me crave another, to blot out the way I feel. As an addict, my first impulse is to turn to porn and masturbation, and objectifying other women.
Even if I could turn all that energy towards my girlfriend- it wouldn’t feel right. My addict needs an addictive shame filled hit, something really strong. And, I don’t want to be using my girlfriend to get my rocks off.
But my girlfriend says it’s not okay. Even though I give her oral sex, even though we have PIV sometimes (where I do my best to practice karezza) she says she needs me to cum. Otherwise she feels rejected. She feels like I’m always holding back. She even said she feels like she’s raping me because she’s trying to have sex with me while I’m trying not to orgasm.
She said she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life in a relationship where there’s no sex. Everything else is wonderful, but this was has come up and I feel like I need to choose between what’s best for me … or having orgasms - just for her.
Anyone struggling with something similar? Any insight to give? Male or female, I could really use some perspective on this.
You might need a complete abstinence to get things rewired. No physical stimulation certainly, and maybe even just intimate, no sexual activity with the gf.