Do you think most guys masturbate?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Sep 16, 2020.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    My opinion is yes most guys will masturbate to some extent. So say guys from the age of 18 to 50. I'd say most guys in this sort of age range will masturbate to some extent.

    But that brings me to my next question. If most guys masturbate do you think most guys masturbate with porn/artificial sexual stimulation or without porn/artificial sexual stimulation?

    My opinion is that these days most guys will masturbate with porn/artificial artificial sexual stimulation much more than without it.

    So if most guys today masturbate, and if most guys today masturbate to porn/artificial sexual stimulation, then how is there not much more of a problem?

    So much more of a problem with porn addiction and porn induced sexual dysfunctions?

    I guess it honestly does somewhat puzzle me because I know how I am. I feel like I seriously struggle to 100% stay away from PMO. I can relapse, I can end up going in to binges etc.

    I think what really puzzles me is with the way I am and how easy you can access anything you want these days on high speed internet, using your smart phone, tablet, laptop, computer etc. I just don't understand how there isn't much more of a big problem going on in the world than what there is.

    Does anyone else get that feeling when you leave your home and go out in to the word, you see all these guys with girlfriends etc, with attractive women. You even see a lot of younger guys with girlfriends etc. Then you think to yourself where the heck did I go wrong?

    I mean if these guys have long term girlfriends and relationships I honestly can't see them having long term porn addiction, I can't see them having porn induced sexual dysfunctions, as I can't imagine much girls sticking around if their boyfriend was suffering with issues like that long term.

    But yet it's everywhere. People in relationships. Guys getting laid regularly etc.

    So yeah I guess I just don't understand how some guys are so much more negatively affected than other guys.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
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  2. Candeeiro

    Candeeiro Fapstronaut

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    Hmm..
    All of my friends view it..
    But not all of them get affected.
    We are all different and we react differently to stimulus.
     
  3. used19

    used19 Fapstronaut

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    My guess is that either their partner's are also doing it (and therefore don't care), or they manage to keep it at a lower habitual way, and/or their partner's don't know. I woke up to what my husband was doing over a year ago - he wasn't always doing it but had been regularly (though only a tiny bit at night, never more) for the past 5 years. You would not have thought he was negatively affected. Yet here we are, with me destroyed, trying to save our family, but the pain of him doing that to those women is probably going to do me in.
     
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  4. I think a lot of people who are addicted to porn don't even realize they are addicted. The association between porn and addiction is still new and any negative effects from it are not realised because it has become so normal to feel such a way. They don't know any different. I think on the surface they seem normal, with their girlfriends or their ability to get laid, but we don't know the quality of that relationship. If porn is involved it is probable somewhat dysfunctional.
     
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  5. Crispy Weetabix

    Crispy Weetabix Fapstronaut

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    I don't think it's that it just affects everyone differently, I think it's more to do with when they discover it and why they use it. For many of us addicts, we never had any prior experience with girls and therefore our sexuality developed entirely through porn. Whereas other guys who have developed their sexuality first through girlfriends and real life experiences are at much less risk of developing sexual dysfunctions because they're brain has already learned to get turned on by real girls. However, even these guys are at risk of becoming addicted if they start using PMO as a way to escape something in their lives like stress or depression. I think PMO is dangerous for everyone, there is no healthy use, it's just that some people are in a more vulnerable position to become addicted than others.
     
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  6. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    Some years ago, there was a saying: 90% of boys/men masturbate, and the other 10% are liars! :D

    I think it is rare for a male not to masturbate at all. What is much harder to gauge, is the percentage for whom this is a real problem. I started masturbating at 13 when I started puberty. There was no internet. I did not see any porn at all for another 20 years. But masturbation was sexual daydreaming was a massive issue for me. When I got a computer, I lost the plot and immersed myself in porn. The compulsive nature of my fantasies and masturbation, impacted directly on my use of porn. I knew I was addicted to masturbation. But I never considered that I was addicted to porn. But I was, badly! :(

    IMO, the addiction we have is symptomatic of deeper issues. The trauma, situations and emotions we cannot process are hidden under this permafrost of hardcore porn and masturbation. Not all guys have this conundrum and that is one reason why many can take or leave porn and masturbation. Similarly, I almost never drink alcohol, but I have a Beer-Shandy occasionally or a glass of wine with a meal. Mostly, it never occurs to me to have it. My "poison" was my secret sex world!
     
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  7. I'm fairly sure that pretty much every person on the planet in some capacity has masturbated.

    I'm of the opinion that masturbation is a natural human compulsion. But just like with anything that's stimulating, it can become a problem for some, that doesn't mean it will for everyone though.

    I agree with @IGY that compulsively masturbating and looking at porn is the result of deeper issues. It's a coping mechanism, especially for guys, because for guys orgasm tends to make us feel sedated so its easy to get into the habit of using it to cope with unpleasant emotions.

    Really, I think the best way to tackle the issue is to find new ways to cope. I'm only now starting to understand this better. The only way out is to replace the bad habits with good ones. If you try to cut it off without having something to fall back onto you're just going to fall right back into your old habits.

    Porn, and especially internet porn, on the other hand is a whole different beast. It's very unnatural and unhealthy mainly because its overpowering. So it's literally getting you 'high'. That's the definition of being 'high', its your brain being incapable of handling the stimuli it's receiving. But the problem with that is your brain will start to adjust to this new state of being and once that happens if you aren't getting all that extra stimuli, then you will feel miserable and so the cycle of addiction starts.
     
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  8. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    My story is somewhat similar to yours. I would say I began masturbating around the age of 11, and I didn't get my first laptop until I was 18. I had seen a little bit of porn here and there before that time, so the very odd magazine, a few images on old style internet. But this basically never happened. Like I could probably count on one hand how much this happened over 7 years. All my masturbation was done through my own imagination and fantasies. But the thing is I remember I actually had some hardcore fantasies before I had ever seen porn. I remember when I was in high school I used to look at all the girls in my class, looking at their butts etc, looking at them in short skirts etc, and then when I went home I would have a serious MO session basically every day I got home from school, imagining all the girls I had seen at school. But I used to have some hardcore fantasies when I was like 14 where I was imagining I was having sex with like 5 girls at once etc, and imagining all sorts of hardcore stuff. Baring in mind this was before I had ever properly seen porn, and these were the sort of fantasies I used to get.

    I would say I probably masturbated using my imagination on average once or twice per day for about 7 years. But then when I was 18 I got my first laptop, and this was highspeed internet. What happened was basically instantly I couldn't believe all the hardcore porn I could get on my laptop, and I more or less instantly began chronically masturbating to porn on highspeed internet. Like it wasn't a gradual thing with me, I basically chronically started using it like this straight away, and this behaviour got worse and worse, and went on like this for about a decade.

    If I am being honest I can't say I noticed any negative effects before I started masturbating to porn on high speed internet. I definitely didn't have any sexual dysfunctions back then. But when I look back I was quite a heavy masturbater I would say, even before I began using porn.
     
  9. You guys definitely have an advantage over me I guess, if you can call it that. I started masturbating when I was ten maybe eleven, and by the time I was twelve I had already found online porn. It wasn't until I was 15 or 16 that I started to really notice that I had a problem.

    I really can't remember a time when porn wasn't a part of my sexuality. My porn addiction started basically right at the start of puberty. I don't even know what it would be like without it really.

    I'm 18 now, still struggling and trying to get away from it. :(
     
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  10. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I'm nearly 30.

    You've got the advantage that you're still young and you can change it. Please don't go through all of your twenties still engaging in this same behaviour.

    Yeah high speed internet only came about when I was about 16. Then I didn't start using high speed internet until I was 18, when I got my first laptop. So this was the first time I properly began using porn. I had been masturbating using my imagination for about 7 years before this.
     
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  11. cardinal biggles

    cardinal biggles Fapstronaut

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    When I was in a long term relationship and was having regular sex I was still addicted to porn and we both had our own struggles with mental health.

    I'm sure many people saw the two of us together and probably had the same thoughts you do unaware of what was going privately. I think too often we regard having a partner as being fulfilled until you have one and realise it's not like that, it's hard to maintain one.

    I empathise with you it's easy to feel lonely and jealous of other couples, I do almost everyday but sometimes you just got to be happy for others.

    Also I think PIED is an increasing problem across most men, cases of ED in men under 30 have been continuing to increase to record levels over the last decade and lets be honest most men still don't feel comfortable speaking about it so imagine how many keep it a secret.
     
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  12. Yeah, I guess I'm just afraid that it's going to be really hard for me to change my sexuality because I started using porn at such a young age right as it was developing. What I'm mostly referring to is porn-induced fetishes which I have a few of, that sort of thing. Do you think I'm going to be able to reverse all that?
     
  13. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I think you can reverse it. But you need to stop engaging in that behaviour, and it might take a bit of time. I'd easily say you can have most of your twenties not having porn induced fetishes if you really try to change starting right now.
     
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  14. cardinal biggles

    cardinal biggles Fapstronaut

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    It's not something that I can give a simple "yes" or "no" response to. You're doing the right thing by cleansing yourself from porn, It does cause fetishes but this can vary by individual.

    I'm glad to read that even at a young age you have decided not to let porn define your sex life, you're wiser than me when I was 18 :emoji_joy:

    Hopefully with porn gone from your life you can discover yourself sexually and will find somebody else to discover it with.

    All the best man!
     
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  15. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I had chronic ed my entire twenties. Only this year it's started to improve, and particularly over the last few months it's begun to seriously improve.
     
  16. Thanks, man. I'm really looking forward to not being a slave to this anymore. :)

    Well the whole reason that I started trying to quit porn was because for the longest time I've always been struggling with anxiety, especially social anxiety, and varying degrees of depression. And then I was browsing subreddits and I found someone saying something about Nofap. I had heard of like No Nut November and that sort of thing more as a joke than anything, but then I started looking into it out of curiosity and found that a lot of the symptoms I've been experiencing seemingly for no reason now not only have a reason but a solution.

    After that point, I started trying to quit but thus far I haven't had much success. I usually go for a few weeks and then fall back into it for a while until I finally get fed up with it again as I start feeling more and more anxiety and getting depressed again and then it starts all over again.

    It's just been an endless battle over, and over again. Now I'm finally realizing that it's literally my coping mechanism, I'm using it to escape like you would with a drug, so the only way out is to find better ways to cope.
     
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  17. Ultimate worrier.

    Ultimate worrier. New Fapstronaut

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    Same bro i also used to get frustrated as i wasn't even able to figure it out why am in such pathetic situation ..anxiety , The fear to communicate with people in public and many small things which only affect me not others ...this addiction makes our soul shallow and destroys our core. Throughout my teenage i had been in this trap never discussed with any of my friends or anyone. As at that time i had no idea what disaster it would be for me in future which i later got to know . All which i knew that time was
    "so what i am a young guy growing up becoming a man it will be ok and may be natural, everyone does it not a big deal " but year after year it battered by performance in each and every phase of my life weither it be Academics , College or any of my family matters . I was just not able to take a firm stand at any point I always lacked confidence .Most of the times i was in doldrums asking myself why i am not as curious,enthusiastic and much more as others why this is happing to me ?"

    Some how came this far in my life with all this.Now i realised in all of thesw things one thing which i never stopped was mastribution and porn addiction. One day all of a sudden i decided to get ride if it . I had no idea that it is impossible to do such as it was an addiction and i was addicted to that from years so i started "NoFap" for the very first time , on the very third day my hands very all around me and urges were on its peak . Like a drug addict i relapsed .That day i realised What am i done to my life . It was all clear that through out my life i did nothing but sowing wild oats ......
    It has been being a year now ever since .
     
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  18. I believe it's another myth that most guys do this or have done it at least once. But we won't be sure without some serious studies and taking into account such factors as cultural differences and religion.
    On the other hand... who cares and why? At least, we shouldn't.
     
  19. cardinal biggles

    cardinal biggles Fapstronaut

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    You're experience reminds me a lot of what I've been through.

    One thing from my experience I can tell you is that since quitting porn and masterbation last month my social anxiety doesn't effect me as frequently, like I still get it but I feel a lot more relaxed and sometimes I find myself going into conversations and sometimes taking charge of them, something I didn't think I couldn't do a few months ago and it really helps me feel better.

    Obviously there's still a lot of progress to be made so don't expect a quick fix, at times it won't be easy but you can improve yourself, you're right it's like a drug and when you rid it from your system you'll realise how it's something you're better off without. ✊
     
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  20. Little Prince

    Little Prince Fapstronaut

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    Why do people smoke if we know it's 100% bad, why do people eat animal products if it's the only cause for the leading cause of death, why do people do drugs, drink alcohol, etc? Money.
    It will take many decades for this info to be allowed to spread to most people.

    As you recover from porn addiction you will start to have a deeper level of focus and observation and you'll start to see in all other men the things you recovered from. All the men I know display signs of severe porn addiction yet I have never heard this topic mentioned.
    The weird thing is I see similar things in many women but it affects them differently. There seems to be some extra agitation I don't see in men.

    Why do others have better things than us? It's not because they are not badly affected by the addiction, it's just better luck in life. I see others hooking up by circumstance yet I don't have such events happen to me.

    No need to believe anything I say, quit porn and you'll see how draining their addiction is.
     
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