Do you think women would think your weird for doing this?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Aug 7, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I mean I don't use a smart phone, I use a wee rubbish non internet phone. I also block my self out near everything on my computer, porn, all social media and much much more.

    Lets be honest do you not think a lot of women would find this really weird? The vast majority of women probably wouldn't believe porn and jacking off to unlimited pixels could cause this level of damage for a start. I have spoke to a few people about it and they think it is complete nonsense. I had a psychologist who thought it was nonsense, and my friends think it's nonsense. They actually have girlfriends, get laid regularly, and they even still jack off to porn. But I have some understanding on how it might not have negatively effected them as much as it has me.

    But yeah I do think a lot of people would think what I am doing is weird. I also think a lot of people would think it is pointless and nonsense as well.

    I remember a wee while ago this girl was wanting to message me on whatsapp and wanting to send each other pictures on snapchat, but I couldn't because I don't use a smart phone. Does that not look a bit weird?
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2019
  2. b-v-o-y

    b-v-o-y Fapstronaut

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    Not having a smartphone is uncommon, but not unheard of.

    Smartphones are just so more useful, but of course there had to be a way people survived without them. It just depends on your lifestyle and how you live. It's pretty essential if you want to keep up with the lives of other people and can make it hard to keep up with your friends and family especially if they use social media.

    People's reactions to you might be like "he's a hermit" or "he lives under a rock" but if you NEED to cut back on internet, social media, etc. because it affects you negatively, by all means go for it. Personally I strive for a balance of both. I don't want to be super into social media and scrolling mindlessly through feeds all day since that just sucks the energy/happiness from my day but I do use it just enough to where it enhances my day and I am able to connect with others.
     
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  3. Sgttiedarms

    Sgttiedarms Fapstronaut

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    I do the same thing for the most part. I never check facebook I feel its a complete waste of time. If you notice it's always the same people posting on there. The women that constantly post updates on facebook are extremely boring people in real life.
     
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  4. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Do you not mindlessly keep flicking through images of attractive women on social media though?
     
  5. b-v-o-y

    b-v-o-y Fapstronaut

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    I try my best not to. I don't use Instagram (I used to have one but found it pointless), but I do use Facebook. It's mostly to keep track of my friends, and if there is anyone that I find constantly posts the same things over and over I just unfollow them. I used to look at pictures of some attractive girls that were my friends from school but after a while I was like no...they deserve more respect. And plus I knew them. It's easy to lust after someone when you don't know them - but they deserve the same respect.
     
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  6. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I just find it a bit confusing. Because apparently if your searching and looking at social media images for any form of sexual arousal, then this is doing the exact same thing in the brain as if your searching and looking at what is categorised as porn content for any form of sexual arousal. But the more confusing part is you don't need to be masturbating to it for it to be classed as sexual arousal. But the thing is how many people see an attractive looking female on social media and then start searching more of their pictures? But this can actually be doing the same thing in the brain as searching porn.

    The confusing part is knowing if you're searching it for sexual arousal or not. I suppose if your not feeling aroused by the images then you will know from that. Or if you do feel aroused by an image then you turn it off and don't search more.

    Quite confusing though.
     
  7. If any girl thinks it's weird she isn't right for you and you find it out quickly.
     
  8. b-v-o-y

    b-v-o-y Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I agree it can be quite confusing. It comes down to "why am I looking for more of their pictures?" If you find someone that catches your eye and you scroll for a bit through their pictures, that's fine. I think a lot of people do that just because they're curious and want to see how that person looks in different settings.
    Aroused or not though if you kind of start stalking them and looking through EVERY single picture it becomes a bit...creepy imo. Best to just stay away from anything that could even remotely resemble a trigger.
     
  9. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Yes this is weird tbh. You need to stop relying on external stuff to control your addiction.
     
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  10. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    If your interested in a girl it's natural your going to want to search and look at her pictures. If you see an image of an attractive girl I feel like it's quite natural to click on their profile and look at more of their pictures. But it's knowing if your doing it for sexual arousal or not. Plus how easily could looking at images like this trigger someone to become aroused?
     
  11. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    The answer is who cares? You do what you think is healthy or valuable.

    Rejection is healthy. Right now you're rejecting a lifestyle of PMO.

    It's actually good if someone calls you weird for this. Because you can identify them as non-compatible with your values, and move on to finding new people.

    It doesn't look like it online. But there's plenty of people out there who've never heard of NoFap and simply aren't porn/sex obsessed either.
     
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  12. DeepParkWater

    DeepParkWater Fapstronaut

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    Id say that its wierd because youre too far off the grid to be relatable in society. I personally try to find the middle ground in things just because it tends to be healthier so i dont use Instagram anymore but still use fb. Id say that for you id going monk mode is working and that is your priority than thats your decision but yes women will find it wierd if you dont succumb to societal norms it sucks but thats the name of the game. Remember for women they are more relationship focus in terms of life priority so an option that makes you an outcast in society is a death sentance for women. For guys were more objective creatures more goal/logic based. Id imagine it being pretty tough to date without a smartphone or social kedia but it might be doable
     
  13. b-v-o-y

    b-v-o-y Fapstronaut

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    Ohh yeah I gotcha. In that case it’s fine. To answer your question it just depends on the person, for me personally if I wasn’t careful that would trigger me to become aroused. For others, they’re fine, and for others yet just looking at one single picture can cause them to spiral out of control.
     
  14. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Is this a long term decision for you? or a temporary measure until you take back control over your addiction?

    It's perfectly reasonable to want to stay away from problematic media for a while, just like a recovering alcoholic isn't going to hang around in a bar all day, even if he's drinking cola.
     
  15. Gaius6Reboot31

    Gaius6Reboot31 Fapstronaut

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    It can come out as weird. I did this for some time.

    But if you are into "game" (I don't like the term) you can use this special characteristics, no social networks or smartphone, to your advantage. If some girl asks, be very forward about your rules and your lifestyle choices. She may or may not understand, but most people will respect you. Some of them may even admire you. Many people use social networks and surfing in a way that they recognize as unhealthy. You are just doing something they have though of doing.
     
  16. MuzzyTheArab

    MuzzyTheArab Fapstronaut

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    Who cares if anyone thinks its weird bro? We all deal with and experience our troubles manifesting themselves in different ways. Maybe porn has bruised your ego, keep your head up man.
     
  17. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    I find myself wondering how come others are not affected by PMO as much as I am. I think other people seek their dopamine by other stuff, like loving people, being social, working on their goals, career, pets, exercise, meditation.......

    I don't speak for others but I can agree that I have some hole in my life, a disappointment that I don't know how to fend off, hence I find solace in PMO, food, TV, video games and stuff.


    The moment we find happiness in loving and helping others, taking care of ourselves (diet, engaging ourselves in meaningful pursuits, working out.....) we might feel less compelled to PMO as we might be satisfied by doing things other than PMO. That is my hope.
     
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  18. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    That's exactly what I've found!

    I've been slowly changing things like that... Better eating, exercise, making a point to ignore my phone and talk to people.

    Some days I feel my life is missing things. But I have a feeling that with patience I can get a few more things on track, and then the momentum will balance it out.

    Maybe it's a combination of small wins as well as the memory of how much being entrenched in this habit sucks.
     
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  19. Ajikan

    Ajikan Fapstronaut

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    I agree. Facebook is trash.
     
  20. mh232

    mh232 Fapstronaut

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    I don't think it's weird. The internet and social media is so common place now, but not too long ago it was still a novelty. I mean the internet boom only started in the late 90s and early 2000s. Social media is fairly 'new' as well when you think about great innovations (I mean the lightbulb has been around for more than a hundred years). The only reason it looks weird to not be on social media and other platforms is because it's so common place (i.e. it's built into our lives).

    I don't think the negative impacts of porn are nonsense either. Porn in many respects has been promulgated as 'something that guys do' (and girls too). This delusion has done a lot of guys a disservice - at least I feel it has. We were never taught to question this 'harmless passtime'. Unfortunately, research into the negative impacts of pornography hasn't caught up with the pace of freely available porn. Thank goodness that there is good research being produced on the cognitive, emotional and behavioural impacts of pornography.

    I think being honest with the girls you meet about your lifestyle choices is a place you can start (i.e. I don't use social media for this and this reason). If it's working for you, then that's all that matters. At least you've questioned whether what you are doing is harmless or detrimental for you. I used to think porn was harmless until I had to really assess myself. I'm very glad I did because porn for some of us is not harmless.
     

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