Does Anyone Fear STDs?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Deleted Account, Sep 8, 2019.

  1. I sometimes wonder if anybody is in the same boat as me. I am fit, I care about my health, and I don't believe women find me unattractive, but I have a paralyzing fear of catching STDs. I don't think a night of fun would be worth risking my future health.

    It seems as though everybody has sex with everybody in today's world, and STDs are at an all time high. I just wonder if anybody else worries about this too? I've never tried to advance anything to the next level because of this. It is almost impossible for me to spend all of my pent up energy, so I always seem to slip back into porn every week or so.

    How do you all practice sexual transmutation in a healthy way?
  2. DesertExplorer

    DesertExplorer Fapstronaut

    I don't fear STDs (I should though), but there is something else restraining me from having one night stands and casual sexual relationships; their lack of meaning.

    Sure, they're not as bad as masturbation and porn, but still... They only provide you with short-term pleasure. I think there's more to this life than pursuing something like that. That's just me though. But I can't help but hope you find a better reason to not use women for your pleasure and let them use you for their pleasure than the fear of STDs.

    I believe everyone deep down inside wants a connection, a spiritual union. And we all pursue this the wrong way; physically. It starts with the mind though and with an appreciation for another human being's character.

    As for sexual transmutation, I would be naive to advise you. I don't know. I am working on it. I would like to believe there is a better way than having occasional sex with women. If there is none, I would still prefer the pressure on my balls. lol

    Have a good one, brother!
  3. You're absolutely right. I wasn't clear enough in my original post. I mean that I do not even know if I would want to be in a relationship with another person because I feel like almost everyone has them by now. I agree that a one night stand would be devoid of any meaning, and it would not give me what I am looking for. In other words, even if I really did connect with someone, if I found out that they had an STD it would turn me off of them immediately, but maybe I'm just being too strict.

    Thanks for the response!
  4. Shoot man I went to the doctor once just to have an STD test. I was in bad shape. Luckily it was all good!
  5. I never met anyone through Craigslist but I remember when they used to have sex ads , the women seemed to always specify disease free for tbreesomes. Just was too impersonal for me v
  6. Ad4gio

    Ad4gio Fapstronaut

    Yes, I have always been petrified of getting a disease or getting someone knocked up. As a result, I've been pretty reserved in who I've been with. One thing I always asked myself, back in the days when I was more 'active', was "would I be okay with getting this particular person pregnant? with having them be a part of my life somehow forever?" Saved me many times.
  7. Wait until marriage to have sex, and you'll have nothing to worry about! :)
  8. That's not too strict at all. If you're going to have sex with someone, it's perfectly reasonable for you to want to know first if they have any STDs. Don't ever let anyone tell you that's not reasonable.
    ConradJHart likes this.
  9. Haha.. I have had the same fear. It adds up to my already existing performance anxiety and PIED.

    It's reassuring to know it's not just me.

    I think I also feel diseased myself because of all the P I watched and all the M I did. Almost like I got an STD out of nowhere through P consumption.

    I also think wearing a condom is a mood killer. First of all it kills the momentum when you have to put it on, it kills sensations, it kills everything. But even with that on I still worry that I could get an STD.
    need4realchg likes this.
  10. Many people have clap or chlam and I think HPV is even present in a majority of those who get laid.

    So I'd say your fear of STDs is justified.
    Di.Do.555 likes this.
  11. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    Its a healthy fear. And nowdays, women who give themselves up easily, carry usually somekind of std. Thats my experience.
    Di.Do.555 likes this.
  12. Thanks for the input all of you! It's good to know that some people are afraid of this too. I usually lie to my girl friends/people interested in me by saying that I'm waiting for the right person or some bogus statement like that when I am actually afraid of this. I don't tell them because I don't want them to think that I think they're nasty or a lesser person for sleeping around. I just wouldn't want to sleep with them too.
    Di.Do.555 likes this.
  13. Maybe this is just my ignorance, because I'm a pretty conservative person, but I don't understand how you can be comfortable enough with someone to want to have sex with them, but not comfortable enough to ask them about their sexual history
    Deleted Account likes this.
  14. I get where you are coming from, but there are a few problems with that.

    First, many STDs are asymptomatic meaning that the person will not have any symptoms from having an STD. Many STDs can be latent for months or sometimes years. Also, some STDs can go into remission after the symptoms have passed, and sometimes the person might have wrongly attributed the symptoms to something else. Even if a person did not test positive for an STD, that certainly does not mean they don't have one or ten. In short, asking someone won't really help because they might not know that they have them or believe they are clean when they really aren't.

    Second, people can lie. I don't really need to go into further explanation on this one.

    Third, it is a mood obliterator. Imagine that you start making out with someone and stop midway saying, "Whoa! Wait a second here. What's your sexual history?" That's just a funny example of course, and this is certainly the lesser of my three reasons. The first two reasons are still my main focus.

    This is why I see this whole subject as a huge fiasco. So to answer your question in one sentence: STDs are tricky and people can lie, so asking them about their sexual history won't work.
  15. Yeah, I suppose. I'll revert back to my original advice to wait until marriage then. Zero problems with that route. I've never had to worry about STDs.
    ConradJHart likes this.
  16. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

    I'm not worried at all. I believe that one should wait until you're married to have sex. God hasn't brought the right woman into my life, but that's OK. If He wants me to get married, He will make it easy for me.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. Gab238

    Gab238 Fapstronaut

    I think that is completely normal to be scared about getting a STD, it's your life and most of us appreciate ourselves, and knowing that you can get an STD even using condom, and also knowing that there are STDs that have no superficial symptoms is something to be afraid of...

    But I also think that if you keep yourself into this bubble, you will never enjoy sex, or maybe you just won´t have sex ever.

    So my advice is that you get only one person at time to have sex, and most be someone you trust and have spent time with.
    ConradJHart likes this.
  18. Yes, especially since they can lie dormant/show no symptoms for a long time..until one figure out you have one.
    ConradJHart likes this.
  19. Thank you for the response and advice. As you said here, my only realistic choice would be to find a virgin and trust them enough to know they would not be lying to me.

    I get that I am running I am running a tight ship because that is asking a lot in today's day and age, but it isn't out of the question.

    You are spot on about possibly never having sex or at least not enjoying it if I tried with somebody I didn't care about, didn't trust, etc.

    But I do think there is a lesson to be learned here. We have to always give our best and never get discouraged about what we can or cannot get out of this life. Maybe I won't have sex or maybe I will. Maybe I won't get my dream job or maybe I will. Maybe I am already at my dream job right now, or maybe it is right around the corner. I think you get what I am trying to say.

    We always do our best to mold the best life for ourselves, but sometimes life is too uncertain to have regrets. It does not do me any good to worry about when or if sex will ever come.

    One thing is for certain. Staying away from PMO should always be my top priority. I am thankful to have this website and advice such as yours to point me in the right direction.
    Gab238 likes this.
  20. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

    In the past i used to go down on women a lot and without protection .
    I am soo scared of stds.
    I am very good now ( i will only have sex with the one and only one - my future wife)

Share This Page