Does Anyone Fear STDs?

Very good advice. I've always been good about not letting people change who I am, so why start now?

I guess i was more so asking if my fear was actually justified. I wouldn't want someone to judge me for being a virgin, and if they saw it as a negative I would kick them to the curb real quick. I don't know how right it would be to attack someone that possibly just had unprotected sex one time and caught something.

The issue is complex for sure. I certainly wouldn't think of them as lesser than me, I just wouldn't want to sleep with them even if I cared about them deeply.

 

That is really insightful. One could argue that the P I watched over the years did far more damage to me and my life than years of unprotected sex could have ever done. Physical health is one thing, but you're mental and emotional health is another beast.

I belong to the YMCA, and I've always liked their mission statement about creating a healthy body, mind, and spirit for all. They are all woven together. When one of the pieces to the triangle is missing, the other two crumble with it.

NoFap has already helped me immensely so far. I can't wait to break 30 days to share some of my advice and continue the journey from there.

 

The problem is that you're viewing it as an "attack." It's not an attack, it's taking care of yourself and protecting your body. I doubt anybody with some contagious disease (something other than an STD, like leprosy or something) would see it as an "attack" that you don't want to have sex with them.

This is a huge problem in the world right now. A lot of people are so actively fighting for the right for people to be self-proclaimed "sluts" without any judgement, that it makes people like you feel like you're not even allowed to have standards for yourself. Screw that crap. You are more than allowed to have standards, and if someone sees that as an attack on them, that's dumb.

Personally, as someone who was a virgin until marriage, I would find it incredibly unfair if my patience in preserving my body for someone special was rewarded with an STD. Heck no. That's not to say I would have outright refused to marry someone who wasn't also a virgin. I dated plenty of guys who weren't. But I honestly don't know what I would have done if they had STDs. That was make me incredibly uncomfortable, and I think that's perfectly reasonable.

You don't want to contract a disease, and you are allowed to be cautious about that. You're not "attacking" anybody, and if they see it that way, then they're pretty ridiculous.

 

Also, you're comparing someone judging you for being a virgin with you not wanting to contract a disease. Those are not comparable.

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, so of course nobody should judge you for that. There is, however, something wrong with having an STD that can be passed to your partner. You're not judging them for having sex, you're just protecting your own body. Even people who have a lot of sex often refuse to have sex with someone who has an STD, because it's not wise. I've heard of people, who are far from being virgins, insisting their partners get tested first. They're obviously not judging them for not being virgins.

 

I'm almost in agreement. Like I said, I'm not going to have sex with someone that has an STD. That point has been made.

Yes, I'm allowed to have standards for myself. That much is obvious. I never felt like I couldn't. Also, it's not an attack by not having sex with someone that has an STD. That was a poor and unclear choice of wording on my part.

To explain, I said how I would not think of them as a lesser person already. I just wouldn't want to sleep with them. That's the line I want to draw. I meant that I don't want them to view at as an attack on their person. Nothing to do with me feeling pressure to have sex with them. That would be on them if they saw that as an attack. But I wouldn't think of them as a lesser person than me by any means. Still, it would be on them if I explain myself and they still view it as an attack. You make good points no doubt. Sometimes I wish it was possible to actually talk with people on here, and we could make ourselves more clear in our statements.

However, you talk about passing judgment. Be careful of that. Some people have sex with 100s of people and their otherwise good people. The reverse can also be true.

Given this: How do you view people that have a promiscuous lifestyle?

 

That is really weird. Being promiscuous or being a virgin are just what you choose as your lifestyle. They shouldn't be rubbed in anybody's face. Being a virgin isn't something I am trying to be. It's what I am, so why would somebody try to trip me up? I have indicated in my earlier posts on this thread that I wouldn't perceive somebody differently if they have sex with 0 or 100 people. That just isn't right.

I only seek to protect myself from getting unwanted STDs. But the content of somebody's character is something completely different.

 

I'm not sure what you mean... I never said that people who have had a lot of sex are bad people. Obviously they are not all bad people, nor are all virgins good people. I'm not sure what I said that gave you that impression.

It depends on the person... I wouldn't know enough about a person to think one way or the other about them just because they live a promiscuous life. I don't think promiscuity is healthy, if that's what you're asking, but I never implied that people are bad or good based on the state of their virginity.

I get what you mean. I guess I just think it would be silly of them to think that is sm attack, but I guess it depends on how you handle it.

 

I'm from California. Pretty liberal state, but I'm not in that camp. It's just a place I live.

 

It never is worth it.