Does anyone just not to want to try with their partners?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by RealRockNRolla, Apr 2, 2019.

  1. RealRockNRolla

    RealRockNRolla Fapstronaut

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    Hi folks,

    I had been on this before last year but for whatever reason I quit as I got involved in a new relationship with a fantastic woman. I've been going out with her since Mid-November and things were what I thought, going good. However, the past 3 weeks have been absolute ass.....I'm glad with hindsight I have noticed this and as a couple, we have talked about it but here goes. She has this issue where sometimes during sex(it's literally a coin flip) her ovaries hurt like hell and I have to stop pleasing her.

    The issue with this is, because I can't get off, I had been masterbating +4x per day, watching porn again as well when I hadn't watched it ever since I was with her. Does anyone else when they fap as much as that, just have no inclination whatsoever to please their partner or give them a good seeing too? It can't be normal but that's how I feel and is why I'm back on Day 5 right now.....

    Anyone?
     
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  2. Yes, when you binge like that it is going to drain desire for your partner, leave you fatigued and feeling down. It drains everything.
     
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  3. RealRockNRolla

    RealRockNRolla Fapstronaut

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    It's an absolutely horrible feeling, I told her that I had been masterbating more due to the issues with her ovaries, I don't want to be left with blue balls as horrible as that sounds and I sure as hell don't want to hurt her doing something she's meant to enjoy as well as me.
     
  4. CORAZZON

    CORAZZON Fapstronaut

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    I've been in some situations similar to this.

    In my opinion, there are a lot of imbalances in the Male/ Female body. Each has their own way of balancing the body back to how it should be. However, when we have these severe addiction to PMO, our body may not know how to balance itself, leaving us believing that we need to return to our addiction in order to feel okay, to feel balanced.

    What started working for me, in my personal relationship, is opening up to my significant other. I explained my porn addiction from where it began, we talked openly about how I feel when I don't PMO regularly, why it was so hard to stop, triggers, what I felt she could do to help, what my mindset needed to be to stop, etc.

    I'd recommend having an open conversation with your girlfriend about how you feel, acknowledge your addiction to PMO, tell her what you end up doing if you dont reach orgasm during sex.

    The intention isn't to make her feel bad, it's to help her understand your issue, and together figure out a way to be satisfied if she cant continue. It starts with your PMO addiction.
     
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  5. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    Try not to blame your girl, its not her fault. Bedroom problems are not an excuse for porn or jerking off.
    Im sure she would much rather give you a blowjob or handjob than have you watching porn.
     
  6. Yes It does happen because you’ve wasted all your energy on jerking and have no desire left for sex
     
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  7. DeepSeaDiver

    DeepSeaDiver Fapstronaut

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    You will deplete yourself of sexual energy if you spend time fapping. If you can’t keep it under control, then I wouldn’t do it at all. 4 plus times a day because she can’t get you off seems excessive.
    If this is an ongoing dynamic between the two of you, set a parameter when if you don’t climax during sex, you have 10/15 mins to do it on your one of she doesn’t want to participate.
     
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  8. RealRockNRolla

    RealRockNRolla Fapstronaut

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    Appreciate the replies folks - I'm on Day 8(as of today) and haven't felt an inclination to touch myself and have achieved my first erection in the past 3+ weeks. I talked to my girlfriend openly about it, I told her because of the pressure I've been under, coupled with everything involving her, that I've literally wasted my energy fapping away and felt like shit. We had a very open and honest conversation on Wednesday night and because she loves me so much, she's giving me time to focus on me and get myself back to the way I was before. I can't thank her enough and I feel grateful.
     
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  9. CORAZZON

    CORAZZON Fapstronaut

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    That's great to hear! Good luck bro, you can do it!
     
    RealRockNRolla likes this.
  10. Why not give her the opportunity to get you off? Sounds like she would oblige. She loves you and probably feels rotten about the issues she’s having.
     
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  11. RealRockNRolla

    RealRockNRolla Fapstronaut

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    She has had no sexual urges for the past 3.5 weeks bud, she's said the very thought of me or any man touching her physically repulses her right now.
     

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