Does anyone pretend to be girl in erotic chat?

Meshuga said:
Sometimes understanding why helps us stop. Sometimes asking for other people's story helps us find our own path out of addiction. But sometimes extensive discussion about our compulsions, and asking for other people's stories, is a way of acting out.

It's... odd, in a way I don't quite have the words for yet, thinking of these lonely men talking to other lonely men, pretending to be women. Men buying into the porn fantasy so hard, they are willing to perpetuate the myths themselves. Women don't act like porn depicts, they don't want to, but male demand for that behavior is so high they provide the supply as well. It's such a disconnect from reality.

I don't think acting like a "girl," or a very masculine interpretation of a hypersexualized "girl," is necessarily for the male attention. I think it's performative, wanting to believe in the fantasy of that hypersexualized "girl," and the attention is just affirmation that you're doing a convincing job of it. The attention is reinforcement of the fantasy. Some men write erotica from a female perspective as well, they don't require the live feedback to enjoy it.

It's not real, obviously. It's just reinforcing wrong beliefs about how women experience desire. But there is something exciting, and I don't know what, about pretending a person like the one you pretend to be exists out there. She doesn't. You're getting off to something that doesn't exist, and there's something pathetic about that.
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Well, I know it's pathetic...but does your judgments help? Well, I think you are just pretending to be better than me or better than people that do similar things.
 
GeorgeJetson said:
Hey man, thanks for sharing some of your story. I commend you for opening up despite the judgey tendancies of many of the members...which is completely ironic, but the reality.

I've been a member of this community for almost 6 years and I currently have a solid amount of sobriety time. I have had periods of consistent, steady engagement within all these forums, and other times where I sit back. My journal is updated pretty frequently right now but I haven't been engaging in posts like this for a while. However, today is a reminder of how frustrating it is when we open up and seek some sort of relatable interaction only to get shot down and told to "just stop" or you shouldn't do this or that...even from our very own moderators. It's truly unfortunate.

I've immersed myself in local, 12 step communities where I don't get these types of responses, but rather the love and support I need.

Again, I commend you for putting yourself out there, but damn, many of these comments are incredibly counterproductive.

You are ALWAYS welcome to reach out to me via DM. I have many years of active adiction to chatting, camming, illicit massage parlors, escorts, and international sex travel. And yeah, I've had the "you shouldn't do that," and the "it's not safe" lecture by many members...so I know this community well.

I am here to help, encourage, and support. Wishing you the best bro!
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Thanks! Well, I fell quite good right, as I stopped to do similar things, but I wanted to know what happen to the brain in similar activities. I am a scientist and curious about complex dynamics. I do not understand why people judge especially in forum like this where we are supposed to support each other and be on the same boat.
 
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