Does anyone watch porn when they feel depressed or disappointed?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by shallwebegin, May 24, 2019.

  1. shallwebegin

    shallwebegin Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone!

    I find that when I feel depressed or disappointed about something, I start to watch porn.

    Anyone else?
     
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  2. Targaryenn

    Targaryenn Fapstronaut

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    Me too bro. The same.

    P. is the most destructive thing on the internet.

    My brain is so addict... I am so addict... I must to fight hard to overcome this big addiction. God is with us, all will be good!
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2019
  3. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    I did that too in the past. You should find a positive thing to do when you are disappointed or feeling depressed. Write it down and find the way to remind yourself to do something else rather than watching porn. Maybe put a sticker near your monitor or laptop screen so you can read that and change your behavior. Ask an accountability partner to help you and to listen to your feeling and issues also help. There are ups and downs in the recovery but don't lose your faith. Work it out one step at the time.
     
  4. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, a lot of people. It's an easy escape from reality.
     
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  5. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    The posts on this site are filled with many others that experience the same thing. The reality is that watching P only adds to disappointment and depression. There is nothing helpful, redeeming, or beneficial about P.

    There are lots of productive, uplifting, things you can do when you feel depressed or disappointed.

    Think about what you can do when you feel depressed or disappointed other than PMO.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
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  6. Habbapop

    Habbapop Fapstronaut

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    I think most of addicts. drugs or porn, use them for those reasons.
     
  7. Targaryenn

    Targaryenn Fapstronaut

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    And what we can do?
    You have some tips, some advices, please?
     
  8. Daniel Forster

    Daniel Forster Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, same thing here. I guess porn works in the same way as alchool does: you are sad and you brains knows if you drink you will be happy again - so you go and drink. The problem is after I was finished I fell like and idiot: A fat guy in his room fantasizing intead of going out and doing the real stuff
     
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  9. nitsuj0786

    nitsuj0786 Fapstronaut

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    Porn is an escape for a lot of people. I used in when I was stressed, bored, upset and a number of reason. Pretty soon it just became a response when I felt those emotions.
     
  10. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Yep. In the short run we're concerned about how to not act out, but in the long run and in a deeper way we would want to ask why we get depressed and disappointed in the first place. It's the difference between changing your behavior and changing your self.

    We get disappointed because we have an unmet expectation. Why do we expect that thing? Maybe it's because friends, family, loved ones 'should' be a certain way, but who says? And it doesn't matter if they should because the actual fact we deal with is they are not being that way. To get closer to the root of the issue we need to look at these ways of thinking.
     
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  11. Habbapop

    Habbapop Fapstronaut

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    Mental training. Train your brain.
    And learn that it will end, everything end. Good times, bad times, depressing times and so on.
    And don't take life to seriously :)
     
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  12. OnTheEdge

    OnTheEdge Fapstronaut

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    This is the message that makes the most sense but is the absolute hardest to master. I read some books early on in my nofap battle about tales of absolute endurance when the Spanish 'conquered' the Americas in the 16th century. I'm not agreeing with what they did in those lands as they were horrendously cruel and violent, but there were many accounts of people going on ridiculous voyages to places they didn't even know existed. They sometimes took years to even gather the resources and get the necessary permissions to set off in the first place. They set off not knowing if they'd survive or not and in some cases battled on for years starving, ill and facing people trying to kill them on a daily basis. They'd go in search of lands they were told about where there was supposedly food and gold and sometimes almost died getting to these places, only to find them barren. But they kept going and going and finally the ones who made the right choices, and perhaps had the luck, survived. This is what nofap is. You have no idea how you're going to survive the journey but you just have to keep going.
     
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  13. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    For me it was very important to realise that porn was my coping mechanism. I know that porn isn't going to fix my problems, so it is much less appealing.

    IMHO the best thing you can do short term is excercising. If you feel down do some push ups and squats, get tired.
     
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  14. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    First, get restarted right now. There is no better time to restart your journey of healing than right now.

    For things to do, try doing some things that you enjoy doing. Maybe reading, listening to or playing music, exercising, going for a walk outdoors, studying a new language. Also, try doing some things that build interactions with people: visiting with some friends, or consider volunteering to help out at some local charitable organization (they very often are very happy to have some help !). Do something that someone else may enjoy: write an old-fashioned pen and paper not to a friend or relative you haven't seen for a while.

    There are LOTS of things to do other than PMO. If you look, you'll find something to do.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
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  15. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

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    I found out about something very disconcerting today and in that instant I got a big urge to go straight for that garbage. Usually the urges just come up from more outside or just below the conscious surface, but it's like this urge went straight past all those normal defenses or was already waiting in there to pounce. So I definitely agree times of depression or stress are tougher.
    However, I see a problem already in your original question. No, I do not notice that "I start to watch porn." I do something long before I actually do it. What I mean is, there's a whole process in my mind before taking an action; it's a process of granting my consent and committing to that action.
    So you don't 'merely start watching porn' when you're on this journey. What actually happens is you come to a point where you give full consent to the animal to have its misguided way in exchange for a few short hours of peace. The fact is, the animal is just doing what evolution programmed it to do: breath drink eat pee poop sleep pro-create. Remember he can't actually hurt you; all he can do is rattle his cage around begging you to let him out. Stop him just as fast as you hear him though, because he gets louder and louder the longer you let him do rattle on.
     
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  16. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Yes, I want to look at it if I'm disappointed, hurt or stressed. I find it helps me forget things, brings me comfort and relief. But of course it's not healthy and there are better ways to deal with such feelings.
     
  17. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    It may seem that way for a short time. Taking a longer term view shows that P provides neither comfort, nor relief. It just causes grief and disruption in lives.

    Think about what brought you here the first time. Most likely a recognition that PMO was NOT providing anything good in your life, rather, it was creating problems.

    So, what are you doing that is healthy and a better way to deal with feelings ?

    side note:

    your avatar suggests you are relatively new to the noFAP community. Welcome. You are in a good, safe, place here to work on your journey of healing.

    If you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's home page. It includes a lot of information that you will find helpful as you start your journey of healing. Also have a look at the "Glossary" on the top of this page for definitions of abbreviations and terms that may be new to you.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.







    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  18. Super Mike James

    Super Mike James Fapstronaut

    Of course that's exactly the way this addiction works. The same part of your brain that gets a reward from food and other essential things is rewarded when you use porn. So we always go back to what makes us feel good on a very basic level in times of distress. Be on your guard and take it one day at a time and it's good to know that this will happen when you feel this way.
     
  19. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    I've realized since I joined this site that my porn problem started as alleviation for depression I had no Idea I was suffering from. I think this is because aged 12-13 year old me had no idea how to deal with other peoples' perceptions/expectations about me. I don't remember having anything really worth enjoying when I was 14. Afterwards, porn helped me feel better and more energetic. As much as I want to feel those early rushes again, I know I never will.
     
  20. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    There are plenty of healthy, constructive activities that you can pursue that can provide you with very positive feelings (that is, a "rush"). Setting a positive goal, working hard and finally successfully achieving that goal can be pretty up-lifting. Try it and see.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     

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