Does edging count as relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by heydidyougetthatthing, Aug 9, 2016.

  1. I've been edging a little bit over the last few days. "Accidentally" have been coming across some p but haven't M'd or O'd. Does this count as a relapse?
     
  2. Elchicoloco

    Elchicoloco Fapstronaut

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    I personally don't think it does. It's something you should avoid cauz it encreases dopamine, but it's "formally" no relapsing :D By edging today, tomorrow, the day after, there will come a day where you won't be able to resist and will O... take care ;)
     
  3. Daredevil99

    Daredevil99 Fapstronaut

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    Ive kept my counter but I know it pretty much Is a reset but I think keeping it still wil make me feel like I've done a bit more progress then if I was to back to day 0.
     
  4. Elchicoloco

    Elchicoloco Fapstronaut

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    The counter itself doesnt count anything... If you feel more "comfortable" without resetting it (even if you know there should be a king or reset) just keep it going
     
  5. iHappy

    iHappy Guest

    @heydidyougetthatthing You set your own rules, if you consider edging as relapse than you reset, if you don't than you don't.
    But one thing is certain, by edging you are preparing yourself for a failure. In 90% cases it leads to a relapse :)
     
    PayneInPain and (deleted member) like this.
  6. NooseAnchor

    NooseAnchor Fapstronaut

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    You've got to understand that the NoFap reboot "challenge" is first and foremost about a rewiring of the brain. P, P-Subs, erotic fantasies, edging, they all release insane amounts of dopamine. Sometimes you can literally feel a rush to the brain when you look at porn. As a fapstronaut, you want to get away from this unnatural (and unnaturally strong) arousal through pixels on a screen or images in your head. Even though personally I wouldn't count edging as a reset (opinions on that vary greatly!), it definitely releases dopamine in your brain. Especially if you edge while watching porn. Just know that this behavior is extremely counterproductive in that it will either severely slow down your overall reboot process or –and much more likely– lead you to a full-blown relapse too fast for you to even realize. It's basically self-sabotage because it reinforces the neural pathways formed by this addiction that you actually want to help disintegrate and rewire through NoFap/No PMO.

    That being said, after all, only you can tell if what you've done makes you feel like resetting or not. Some people on here just add multiple counters. One for the days they haven't PMO'd, one for the days they haven't MO'd, one for the days they haven't O'd, one for the days they haven't looked at P or P-Subs, one for the days they haven't had any wet dreams, and another one for the days they haven't edged, etc. So maybe adding a second counter might help you, since you only edged, but not all the way to O.

    Whatever you do, just remember
    : this isn't just a challenge. This isn't about counting the days for others to see your progress, or resetting your counter when you've had a slip-up. It's not about making it to the magical number of 90 days without O'ing, just to be able to brag about it, either. This is your personal and unique healing process. It may take 90 days, it may take 9 months or even more. This whole NoFap Challenge is just a neat little idea to raise awareness of the negative effects of PMO on people's lives and to get them hooked on NoFap. It's up to you what you do with it. But it has to become a lifestyle if you truly want to heal. And if you resist the urge to look at p / edge*, not only will this journey be a lot easier for you, but results will show much faster.

    * if you think about it, that's just the addict in you trying to get its way. You have made the commitment to no PMO, so you have know intentions of PMO'ing / MO'ing at all. How paradoxical and useless then is the act of looking at porn and edging?
     
    Fer190, Swagnation, nate311 and 6 others like this.
  7. Thanks

    [Warning: Possible trigger alert]

    I just came dangerously close to a relapse. I downloaded an app I knew would let me "accidentally" come across p. Before I knew it I was straight-up watching. It's been months since I've watched last but it's like my body knew exactly what the routine was. I managed to get the app closed and I didn't m but almost didn't have to. Was like I was about to finish without doing anything (I've never been that sensitive before). My whole body was physically shaking which is kinda scary. I ran into the bathroom, poured cold water over my head and took a really cold bath. I think it's passed for now but now I have these fucking images in my head (and yes, I deleted the app).

    Makes me think of the movie Trainspotting. It's about a herion addict who's trying to quit and all the things that keep dragging him back. There's a scene where he's in bed detoxing and his whole body is rebelling against him and his mind keeps making him see things. Not quite that extreme but feels something like that.

    I've been meeting with a therapist about this addiction for over a year now but he hasn't been helpful. Basically he says it's a normal part of life and I shouldn't feel guilty. The thing is: I don't feel guilty. I feel ashamed. Guilt is about something you've done, shame is about who you are. I'm ashamed of myself for allowing this to become such a huge fucking part of my life. I remember when I was 11 and started watching p and telling myself that it was ok as long as I didn't let it become an issue. Well. Now it's a fucking issue.

    There are so many relationships I've messed up because of what I've let this do to me. So many missed opportunities and friendships. People I've hurt. I'm successful professionally but what good is it if I'm ashamed of who I am?

    How long does this shit last? I was hoping I'd be over it by now
     
  8. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I suggest the opposite. Edging is considered by Gary Wilson (scientist that runs http://www.yourbrainonporn.com) as the worst thing you can do while attempting to rewire and reboot your brain from over stimulation to artificial sex. Please read:

    http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-if-i-use-porn-without-orgasm
     
    ifthisislove and wj2727 like this.
  9. aw shit.
     
  10. IGY

    IGY Guest

    As you are 52, it is likely to be a shorter time. :)
     
  11. BlackKnight

    BlackKnight Fapstronaut

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  12. I think it does. You started this jurny to stop masturbating and you are still doing exactly that.
     
  13. wj2727

    wj2727 Fapstronaut

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    yup, dopamine and edging = reset
     
  14. Buggery

    Buggery Fapstronaut

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    As I got older my PMO times were always considered "edging sessions". It would go on for hours while looking at porn throughout the "session". The goal of edging is to heighten the experience until I finally released and blew all over the place...n my opinion it should not be used as a substitute during recovery. It won't last BELEIVE ME........It would be like an alcoholic swigging a beer and spitting it back in the cup over and over again. Sorry I know its hard but if you are truly recovering then it has to go as well
     

  15. Yea. After nearly relapsing yesterday I realized it's really something I just can't go near. It's hard cause I just miss it so much, there's not alot else in my life that's given me the same thrill and sense of excitement. I'm hoping that as time goes by and this starts to tune down then other events in my life will start to tune back up. I just want small things to make me happy again.
     
    Daredevil99 likes this.
  16. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    edging will eventually result in fapping n then a binge. that's what it did for me.
     
  17. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    There are often questions like "Does xxx count as relapse?"

    And I often think: Well, when you need to ask, then you already know the answer ;)

    The answer is: Yes, edging is another way of escaping, a way to flee from social stress and from reality.

    But there are no rules, and nofap is not a church with confession and absolution.
    There is no priest or leader who tells you what is allowed and what not.

    The only one who decides over your life is you, yourself.
    When you feel that your behaviour is not good for yourself, then you can decide to change it.
     
  18. wj2727

    wj2727 Fapstronaut

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    The answer is yes AND the answer is you get to decide for yourself.

    Sounds right to me.
     
  19. yes, it is a relapse, the trouble is, that it toes the same thing to your mind, whether you O or NOT. your mind still gets a high from the pleasure. wish it weren't true, but it is.
     
  20. Music&Comics

    Music&Comics Fapstronaut

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    I consider it near miss. If i edge twice in a streak, and they're separated by days then I don't reset. But since it is something to avoid I reset on the third time.
     

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