Does Having Porn in the Background count as wrong?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by IHatePornhub, Apr 10, 2018.

  1. IHatePornhub

    IHatePornhub Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys.
    So ive been going out with this girl for a while, and we tend to hook up as well.
    Unfortunately, due to the issue that got me here, ive been using a pill lately to be able to get it up and running.
    Today, we were talking about how we are going to spend friday night together, and how we might have sex.
    Usually, when we have sex, she enjoys having Porn in the background.
    Today, and not expecting this of myself, I told her i started a 90 day no masturbation no porn journey, due to the side effects they have resulted in my life.
    She was very happy that I wont be masturbating anymore, however upset that I dont want porn anymore, and started convincing me that its the excessive masturbation that has been leading to my ED, and not the porn. And also added that she enjoys watching porn with me.
    This really bummed me out since she's the first girl i hit it off with, and losing her and even the sexual part that binds us would really upset me.
    What do i do in this case? Do i explain more that porn should be eliminated from my life? Is it possible the ED doesnt have to do with porn? Please help me guys.
     
  2. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    Most of the time its the PMO together. But if you feel that porn should be removed you gf should support you in it.
    You should talk about it why you think porn should be removed and why she likes it. Try to find a way that works for you both.
     
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  3. Tell her you wanna try a new thing for a bit, set the mood candles music sexy outfits but say you wanna try this reboot without the porn...at least for 30 days. Maybe you both need to try and bump up the foreplay a little bit. Make a day of it
     
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  4. I really think you should NOT give in to playing porn EVEN in the background. This, at least for me, would pave the way for relapses later on. If you don't want to watch porn, there is no reason you should accept, that is if you take your addiction seriously enough. Inform her on the whole PMO thing and the addiction. Give her some sources to read. If she doesn't understand you after that...up to you.
     
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  5. This is a most interesting and highly unusual situation which I do not recall happening before. First, I think it is great that you have been open about your porn and masturbation habits. It is a pity she cannot support you from day 1 with your NoFap challenge. Her assertion about masturbation and not porn being the issue is pure guesswork on her part or even wishful thinking. The best way to approach this is to look at https://yourbrainonporn.com together. I also recommend that you watch the following video together from the scientist that runs the website I mentioned above. Worth a try buddy.

     
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  6. You might have to make a choice: what's more important to you at this stage in your life, quitting porn or appeasing this girl? They might be mutually exclusive.
     
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  7. Hatfuge

    Hatfuge Fapstronaut

    I think Porn is the problem with ED, it's not the MO.

    Porn combined with MO is what's making the MO harmful, when it's combined with the bad thing which is porn.

    There is a reason porn is part of all the different levels of Nofap you can participate in.

    Porn is the real killer. Don't accept it. try to educate her on the subject if she is totally against leaving it out of the picture.
     
    Deleted Account and Hitto like this.

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