Does one relapse totally destroy a reboot?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by B better, Jan 6, 2018.

  1. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    You simply can't be a complete sage that way. Every once in a while you're obviously going to end up seeing something sexual somewhere. Either in a poster on the street or some picture somewhere or even in a normal movie. Key thing that matters is you didn't act on it.. I have PIED problems too, and am nearly 30 days in and am experiencing terrible urges, and have been fantasizing now and then, but I'm trying to fight it, and haven't acted on it yet, and that's where I think we win. You've gone one step ahead of me and actually looked up porn, but still not that huge a deal. Just try to fight it as much as you can. What I keep telling myself is, I NEED to reboot, and get rid of my PIED problems. Need to be a full man, and when I have sex next, I should be able to thoroughly satisfy the girl in every way. That's my motivation, so even if I am at a really awkward position of wanting to MO so bad, even telling myself let's do it without the P, I say no. Because every time I feel the urge, I think about the bigger picture, and that totally helps in controlling yourself. Also, the thought that by fapping once, I could undo a lot of the work I did in these 30 days, so that's a second motivational factor. Need to keep the counter going, even if it's just an arbitrary number. Because each day helps. And even one little fap, for the 5 minute pleasure, may set me back real big. Not to mention, the Chaser Effect may catch up on me after and that's even scarier. You reached over 2 weeks of no PMO. Pat yourself in the back, don't reset your counter because you got no RELEASE even acting on it slightly. Infact you only felt like shit. So keep going.

    Let me recoup the 2 motivational points.
    1. NEED to reboot, and any relapse sets me behind
    2. All the work I put in so far shouldn't go to waste, especially keeping in mind the Chaser Effect.
     
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  2. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

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    One relapse sends me back down the drain with the withdrawals in full swing.

    What I’ve learned in years of being on the forums and anecdotally this really is all or nothing.
     
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  3. B better

    B better Fapstronaut

    Surely your withdrawals aren’t as intense if you relapse after a decent streak though? When I tried this for the first time ever I really was in a pit of despair for the first week, with crippling anxiety and depression. If I relapsed with full on PMO, I can’t see myself being in that state again as long as I didn’t binge
     
  4. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

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    You’d be surprised. They come back intensely after one relapse. It doesn’t matter if you go a few months to a year if you relapse the old circuits get fired back up and you are near enough back to square one.

    The reboot is non linear so you will feel as if your alive and kickin one minute but once the withdrawals kick straight back in its all doom and gloom again.
     
  5. B better

    B better Fapstronaut

    I’m hoping I’ve been lucky and the fact that I only saw a few stills for a minute or two hasn’t been enough to fire up these reward/arousal circuits that I am trying to close down. This was a few hours ago now and I don’t feel any worse than I did before, it’s a great relief that I didn’t MO as that’s what really fires up these circuits
     
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  6. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

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    Stick with staying completely away from it mate. Honestly for us severe people IT IS fucking hell, I’ve seen glimpses of normality on this current run.

    This really is all about post acute withdrawal syndrome though that all these withdrawals come in waves. But it does get better with time. It is just a pain in the ass.
     
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  7. soberhenry

    soberhenry Fapstronaut

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    In my experience you're about to relapse anyways. If you're looking up photos that means you're seeing how close to the edge you can get without go over. You're trying to have your cake and eat it too. You need to learn to accept that you can't have any for the rest of your life if you really want to kick this thing.
     
  8. B better

    B better Fapstronaut

    You are totally right of course, fully relapsed and PMO’d last night and now I feel disgusted with myself
     
  9. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

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    Cut the guy some slack man. I think he has PIED, and not necessarily trying to totally quit porn (I think, from his first post).. You should encourage progress, not discourage a bad deed. It doesn't really help.
     
  10. Ymfsm

    Ymfsm Fapstronaut

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    Dont blame yourself! You have to look at it from the opposite side!

    You love your body and mind, you want to take care of them. Thats why you are here. You recognized and admitted your addiction to PMO. Thats great, thats the first step. Now you have to reach full consciousness about your addiction. I mean you have to know exactly how its developed, how science drescibes it, how it harms you, what you loose if you continue, etc. If you have all this information, than this will be the weapon for your consiousness part of your mind to fight with the unconscious part.

    How this weapon works?

    When you feel the urge to PMO, than you have to focus all for theese gathered information. (For some of us, its better to write it down in the beggining.) Than have to think of a scale. On one side there is your craving desire for PMO, and on the other side there is your well learned lesson against it. Thats your weapon. And every failure will strenghten it until your full consiousness wins. But you have to improve it every single day. Thats why nofap helps us a lot, to holding up our awareness!

    So be positive and use this tactic!
     
  11. Nasagy

    Nasagy Fapstronaut

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    The worst part about this journey was not knowing that pmo was destroying me, I have been PMOing for 5 years and only last year did I find out how harmful it is. I feel grateful and lucky to have found out the cause of my stress and anxiety.
     
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  12. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

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    I know what you mean. I think I first started experiencing withdrawal at 17-18. I’m now 24. Throughout that gap I did not know what the fuck was going on with me. Google can make you a hypochondriac that’s for sure.
     
  13. Blue Phoenix

    Blue Phoenix Fapstronaut

    Reboot yes as soon as you relapse your brain reapprovers the pmo then depending on you binge follows to strip you of achievements . Personal experience
     
  14. soberhenry

    soberhenry Fapstronaut

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    Nope, I completely disagree with you. Looking at porn during a reboot should always be discouraged. It defeats the point of the reboot. His PIED will return if he turns to porn even after his reboot. If he was capable of porn in moderation he wouldn't be here, most of us wouldn't be here. You can disagree with me but it's this outlook that has been successful for me so far. I have already tried and failed at porn in moderation.
     
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  15. B better

    B better Fapstronaut

    I totally agree with you. While 17 days is not bad for my first ever attempt, it is by no means enough, not even close. I have to be 100% committed, not even 99.9% will do. So this time porn blockers have gone on every device, all my porn has been deleted and I’ve given up caffeine which seems to affect me. I’m in it to win this time.
     
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  16. soberhenry

    soberhenry Fapstronaut

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    How are you doing regarding sexual thoughts and fantasies? When I first started I cut out the PM but I allowed myself to fantasize and get arroused. It would always lead me back to the fringes, not porn but close to it. Eventually I would fail and cross over into P or M. I put in enormous effort to avoid all sexual thoughts and that's how I attained my current streak. It is a much better approach than white knuckling it.
     
  17. B better

    B better Fapstronaut

    Not so great if I am honest, it was fantasies of my old favourite scenes that led me to look for stills of them on google, which in turn led me back to fapping over the video. If I had been quicker and more determined to push the fantasies out of my mind I might not have relapsed
     
  18. soberhenry

    soberhenry Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, we a very alike. I would fantasize several times during the day where I knew I couldn't PM. When I would later find myself in a situation where I could look at Psubs I would. Eventually it would lead to P or M.

    I have realized that fantasizing is something that I can't do anymore. It's kind of pointless anyway. What good does it do? You shouldn't even fantasize during sex, you should focus on the actual sex in front of you. Fantasies still try and pop into my head but I quickly think of a non sexual topic. I hope that someday It won't be so difficult, we'll see.
     
  19. B better

    B better Fapstronaut

    That’s it man, it’s all about identifying them and pushing them out early. Most frustrating thing was that I was in flatline from minute 1 and I think I must’ve been coming out of it because it had been the first sign of a fantasy/urge since I started, and I caved like a weakling at the first sign of trouble.

    Most people talk about the chaser effect but I’m the opposite, no urges at all again today. Do you think I’ve reset my flatline and will have to go through another long period of “dead dick?”
     
  20. soberhenry

    soberhenry Fapstronaut

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    I don't know. my guess is your going to experience some of the same symptoms that you had in your first attempt. Just keep journaling throughout your process, it helps you sort things out.
     

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