Does relapsing wipe away all healing done up to that point?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by cryptifly, Jul 26, 2015.

  1. cryptifly

    cryptifly Fapstronaut

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    I'm willing to bet that this has been asked before and maybe by me as well, but I don't remember doing it so I'm going for it. In respect to healing your mind, is relapsing like going back to ground zero or does it just take you back a few notches? I managed to get to day 8 before relapsing and I find myself wondering if I'm literally starting the healing process over or if I just kicked myself back a few steps. Does anybody have any experience with this?
     
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  2. Imtrying

    Imtrying Fapstronaut

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    I don't think it does. I never went a day without for years. Sometimes up to 4 times a day. This went on from well over 25 years. A few months ago I discovered this site & it gave me some determination to do better. Understanding how the brain works is much better than thinking I'm just a scumbag. I made it 4 days without. Then I made it 10 days without! It wasn't easy but I felt good. I've relapsed but that 10 day run seems fresh in my mind. I remember how proud I felt. That helps me. It's Sunday night & every Monday I swear I'm going to do better. This week though I'm posting this. It really clears the mind. I've relapses but I've never lost sight of my goal & know I can do it because I've done it in short spurts before.
     
  3. DKR

    DKR Fapstronaut

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    I don't feel like anything can erase those 8 days and keep going. It will all string together, it's all rewiring
     
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  4. Keep doing it. I think 8 is a great start. Now try and beat the 8. It is progress. Take it and feel good about it. Get back on the horse!
     
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  5. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    No, but it certainly doesn't help.
    Eight days is good mate, but to be honest, it's doubtful that your brain will have done any serious healing in that time. Keep going though, and aim to beat your previous best this time (or your goal of 14 days). Best of luck.
     
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  6. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    You're very generous NoBrainer. In my opinion as far as actual brain changes go, absolutely nothing happens in the first 3 weeks. They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit. It would make sense that the same time would be required to start to deconstruct a habit.
    You want to abandon certain neural pathways. If you reignite them every week or so, what changes do you expect? Time to be serious people...
     
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  7. cryptifly

    cryptifly Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! I do feel that lasting that long helped just a little bit, but the changes weren't really serious, like you said. Now that I've relapsed, I hope those changes won't go away.

    Yeah, I agree with this. It takes longer for the more serious changes to occur. I would argue, from my experience, that even eight days has done a little something, but nothing game-changing yet. It is going to longer than those eight days before I start seeing greater results. Here's to getting more serious and buckling down on breaking the habit. It's the temptation... the damned temptation...
     
  8. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    I read somewhere that it takes 60 days for new habit...

    Conflicting informations!

    But from experience when you're in the flow of NoFap for a while... u can continue that pattern. I remember i had this from day 10 to day 20 i was like "oh sod it dont need it now " but then something happened few days later ...
     
  9. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    If 60 days then by all means, I don't mind. But I've been around this forum for a while now, and it seems like a common theme, that the first really big urges come somewhere around the 3 weeks mark. Between like 20-25 days and most people relapse there. Even if they survive, there are at least 2 more bigger urges, which last for a few days. One around 45-50 days, the second around 60. If you live all of them through, you can breathe more freely. There will still be strong urges but you'll have some experience with them, so they don't get you that easily.
     
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  10. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    You should have write a post with such short facts!

    I have made a note of this. Thanks


    Now i will know what to expect and when'ish
     
  11. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    And get blamed when someone experiences an urge he can't resist at day 54, where I predicted nothing? No, thanks. Either way, always keep your guard up, but remember, when you're really struggling, that's when the reboot happens.
     
  12. cryptifly

    cryptifly Fapstronaut

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    Thank you! If someone is blaming you it's most likely they're angry with themselves and projecting it on you. You're not accountable for other people's feelings and they aren't for yours so you're in the clear. Thanks for the information on this, it's been really helpful!
     
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  13. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Here is my take and it comes from my experience with children and learned behaviors. When a behaviour or habit is being taken away, giving in the the urge always resets the brain back to zero and can in fact make things worse. Here is an example. You give a child a cookie consistently before bed, now the child is expecting this cookie. You decide you no longer want to do this so you stop. The child cries and whines because it has become addicted to the cookie. You say no repeatedly for 10 days. On the 10th day you give in and give the child a cookie. You have just taught the child that whining and crying for 10 days will give you the cookie back. No PMO is similar and it is why most of the guys who give it up for good either never ever relapse or have very long streaks before relapse. Others end up in a cycle of relapses based on this principle. After a relapse the brain knows it just needs to kick into high gear in order to get you to give in again so the urges become stronger, more consistent and never really go away....until you surpass your last streak.

    Also extinction bursts can happen as well and this is where a craving for PMO becomes extremely intense. It is the brains way of trying to hold onto the habit. After you surpass this extinction burst without giving in, it gets much easier.
     
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  14. cryptifly

    cryptifly Fapstronaut

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    I'm always blown away by what you say. Thank you for this wonderful piece of insight. Things make a whole lot more sense now. :D
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2015
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