Does sex bind you to another person somehow ?

I am not a virgin but as a child of God I am waiting until marriage, I am a spiritual virgin I like to call it. Soul ties are a very real thing, 1st Corinthians 6:15 says, Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! You become a part of whoever you have sex with, why do you think people in abusive relationships do not leave or end up coming back? the reason is they are bound to that person and emotionally cannot leave. Porn is not different, porn will stay in your mind no matter how long you abstain, it may fade away in time but it will always be there, porn is repulsive.

 

First thing major props to you for "sticking to your guns" about the no sex before marriage, i wish i did that.

Second thing, there has been shown to be bonding experience that results when two people have sex, usually involving levels of oxytocin. Also has been shown to be much less effective, due to tolerance and exposure when someone has multiple partners.

As for your friend, i also have some friends that the moment they get into a relationship they cut ties with everyone else. I can understand that all too well.

 

in Eastern Orthodoxy there's a thing called second virginity or something like that. You can do it only once, validly breakable only by marriage.

 

Sex is a very special bond between people, however it is temporary. Just like a lack of sex during a relationship can be both cause or effect of a lack of closeness. If a relationship ends the bond fades in time, whether it is a sexual relationship or not.

Good luck staying virgin til marriage. Hope you meet someone who feels the same way.

 

From personal experience and from watching people who get absorbed into hook-up culture, I think in some way this is true.

In particular, people who have a really really high partner count often start developing sociopathic tendencies and have difficulties developing any kind of relationship, even platonic ones. You can see this in its extreme in both the male-oriented pick-up artist forums and the radical feminist forums. People become viewed as replaceable, low-value objects that only exist to be exploited.

 

What does that mean. If you have lost your virginity, that's it.

 

Yes. The act of sex involves contact between two people so it at least involves physical bonds.

 

Saying someone is evil and in the same sentence saying it may be your own imagination is honest on one level, but it's a total 180 in your perspective isn't it?

You don't need to think of someone as "evil" just because they've changed your friend. It shouldn't be hard to understand that if you're married and live with someone, that's going to have a big impact on who someone is as a person so your friend may have changed a lot. Married life is just different from the single life in the first place. You didn't say if they just no longer give you the time of day and not spend time and pay any attention to you or if it's something more than that, it sounds like the information you typed is just a judgment which you are even tentative about but either way it doesn't give people enough information about the situation. When someone marries another person they are also involved in their whole social life including the spouses family and friends, so that's a lot of influence on just the social level alone.

In other words, a lot of it isn't about sex even if that may play a part in how attached someone is. A persons life changes a lot with marriage, so why would you think of it in terms of sex only?

I have to say I think this is wrong on multiple levels. First of all, you seem to frame all this in terms of bad qualities from another person somehow being transferred to you, which frankly sounds aweful lot like blaming other people as an explanation of how things work in life. There IS such a thing as incompatibility. Second as an addiction, that's bad in itself even if there's no chemical overdose that kills you like drugs. Finally it changes how you think about sex. If you haven't read anything significant yet look at concepts like chaser effect and escalation to other sketchy kinds of porn.

Someone else made the porn. Just because you were not in physical contact with another body you don't think their thinking is transmitted through the videos? What do you think happens when you are moved by a powerful movie? You don't think that happens with porn?

So no, it isn't solo if you are factoring the mental influence. After all, you didn't make the porn yourself without any influence from other minds.

 

You can say that, there are even biochemical processes that happen but that's not the point. It seems to be common online that people don't understand there are different ways you can view and frame things, that's what my post was about. I mentioned very specific non-sexual reasons that might have to do why you felt you had to break off the friendship, and while you can't speak to sex being a virgin you have had social experience, probably with other people who are married too so I was pointing to that aspect of it. But of course if you're completely focused on the sexual aspect I guess none of that will mean anything to you right now.

 

No it's not true. That's my opinion. Sex is just a fun act really. It's an experience you have with the other person but that's it. I don't believe in broscience like spiritual energy, souls etc. Sex is different because the experience is with someone else. PM is bad because you are doing it alone in my opinion. That's about all I have for you. I think avoiding sex or sexual acts before marriage is a bit extreme. Just my opinion though. It takes the fun out of the relationship if nothing sexual is going on in my view and without knowing if you can have a lot of fun together in bed I don't see how you could get married. You might marry someone then have no sexual chemistry with them in bed which seems a bit stupid to me. Just my thoughts

 

Sex is magic , you can do it for love , you can do it for lust , you can do it for boredom.
You choose the value.
It for sure can bind you to another person. But not always getting along means complicity in bed

 

Not him but I agree with his sentiment.

I’m a virgin on the inside but sometimes my does the thinking

 

it sure as hell does for a few minutes (or seconds)

 

It is true I physically lost it but I think repentance and a change of heart can reset that, yes I did the act already but that does not mean I have to keep doing it.

 

According to some philosophies, we are already all one, rooted in the same single reality. So we are already bound to each other, even if we never have sex with them or have a sexual thought about them. You can't have a self without an other, you cannot have light without dark, a crest of a wave without the trough of the wave. Your eye evoke light out of the universe. Your ears evoke sound. Ever wondered what the inside of your head looks like? What you are experiencing right now is the inside of your head. The whole world, the whole universe, is happening inside of you.

If you doubt this, try an experiment. Close your eyes. Listen to a sound. Focus on it. Then pay attention to a feeling inside of you, maybe pain or a thought or an emotion. Go back and forth with your attention between the sound outside of you and the thought or feeling inside of you. See if you can find a boundary that divides the inside world which is you from the outside world. Did you find one? No, there is no boundary. You are the outside world and the outside world is you.

There are certain activities that you can do to increase your awareness of this implicit oneness you have with everything. Sex is one of them. When you have sex with another being you can feel the implicit oneness with that particular person. So sex isn't special because it creates some sort of bond with another person. It only reveals a bond that is already there.