Does this count as a relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, May 4, 2018.

  1. (Relapse as in, did I lose LITERAL brain-wiring progress? Did I impact my reboot physically/mentally?)

    I have been rebooting hardmode since 27 april (7th day now), and because I am occupied at all times, I didn't have sexual urges/touched myself until last night.

    I want to say that previously I used to sleep on my chest or hug the bed-sheets so I can feel it in my penis and stimulate it (developed this unconsciously), now in this attempt I never did this :)

    Ok so yesterday I had a lot of sexual urges because I read an article on the internet (I felt arousal as I read it (unintended arousal) and after I finished reading it I closed the PC and went to sleep)

    I started thinking about sex and I started getting an erection, but I stayed sleeping in a way my penis isn't touched by anything and I didn't physically rub it and I didn't touch my phone and turn on porn. I just stayed normal as if there were no urges.

    The only bad thing was that I had little control of the sexual urges I had, and I kept telling myself:
    "Man if I ejaculate now I am gonna be sleepy tomorrow and I must exercise, and I mustn't have brain fog because I have exams now..."

    "It's just a 3 second squeeze that'll cost me my brain clarity, energy, and maybe cause penile problems"

    And it worked. (Didn't relapse)

    When I woke up I still had sexual urges and the same scenario, and I started self-talking myself into fapping because "Damn 7 days it must feel awesome by now" then I said "Damn fuck I must exercise, fuck this shit" then I woke up and started doing my exercise.

    I didn't even touch my phone, didn't see porn for an entire week, and I haven't came.

    Is what happened yesterday and this morning fucked up my reboot or I am good and goin strong???

    What is a genuine (non-affirmative "You can do it!" type of bullshit technique) I can use to not relapse?

    Thank you very much for reading

    edit: Also one simple question

    I know for sure I am gonna relapse one day, and maybe soon because I never made it past 14 days rebooting, what to do to change this?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2018
    RiseToGreatness likes this.
  2. GoldSpirit

    GoldSpirit Fapstronaut

    Hey man, I'll just give you my opinions.

    First of all, I believe that based on the situation you described, you should be CONGRATULATED. It's hard as fuck to fight off urges (Especially during the first two weeks) just with raw willpower, so kudos to you. In my case, urges around the first and second week were by far the WORST. I felt just like you, feeling I couldn't even control myself. They will most likely become less intense as time goes by, and I know that is difficult to believe in this stage, been there.

    So no, I believe that what happened to you didn't fuck up your reboot. Quite the contrary, because these type of struggles are what forge your willpower. I mean, you can't avoid the fights against the urges, they are part of the journey. You faced them and this time became victorious. It's like the gym analogy, the weight got heavier yet you managed to lift it anyway, thus, your muscles are getting stronger.

    Techniques? Hmm, depends on the individual... I can give you ideas and what works for me, but you have to adjust them to you. In my case, it helped my a lot thinking about the patterns that led into triggers. For example, using my phone in bed at night, surfing through social media, could be a trigger. So I started avoiding using my phone in bed at night. Another example, studying on my own far away from everyone else (my room for example) triggered the urges, probably because of the stress, and my body looking for a way to cope with it. Solution: Started studying in the library or with other people. Another example: Smoking weed and being on my own triggered sexual thoughts and urges, solution: I quitted weed altogether for months.

    Those can be considered for preventing urges, that helped me reduce the frequency of them. To combat them, I suggest: Changing environment, standing up and going for a walk, going inmediately to the bathroom with the door open and wash your face with cold water, playing an instrument, having a snack, stepping away from all electronics... Some might sound random but you need to find which ones suit you. I try to engage in a physical activity each time I get them, and make my mind come back to focus.

    Concerning your last question, What to do to change that?
    If you say you are sure that you are going to relapse one day, then lie to yourself and tell yourself that you won't. Lie and believe it. Don't underestimate the power of suggestion, the first step is always believing that you will achieve what you want to achieve.
    Yes, maybe someday urges will catch you off guard and you may relapse. Yes, that may happen to me a well. Is it likely that I will live the rest of my days without masturbating ever again? Not much. But that doesn't mean I want to stop trying. So what if we maybe relapse one day?

    We need to focus on what is actually happening now, entering on the 'what if' mentality will open infinite possible scenarios that will only exhaust you. 'what if.. I relapse, I feel no benefits, my erectile disfunction doesn't go away, it takes 5 years for me to heal'.... the negative possibilities are inmense. Let's focus on what actually happened, which is you reached one week clean, and you deserve respect and congratulations for it.

    I hope any of this helps you, at least one sentence, that would be enough for me. I read one of your posts quite some time ago, it really makes me happy to see you making progress and fighting on, congrats again on your week.
    Safarkiller likes this.
  3. And I knew it... relapsed today :)

    I can't go past 7 days man
  4. RiseToGreatness

    RiseToGreatness Fapstronaut

    interesting post. so you believe that beyond 14 days it´s a no go? how can you tell? you only relapse if you want to, nobody is forcing you anything, so the all idea "this is beyond my control" is pretty much undermining your efforts.

    check out your mindset: do you want a porn life free? or you just want to manage the 90´s days and watch porn like a "normal" guy afterwards?
  5. GoldSpirit

    GoldSpirit Fapstronaut

    Of course you can, it's hard as hell for sure, but it's 100% possible. Start by believing it.
    Safarkiller likes this.
  6. GoldSpirit

    GoldSpirit Fapstronaut

    If you don't mind, can you tell me how old are you and how does your daily routine look like?
    Safarkiller likes this.
  7. 18 years old and at the start of 2018 I started brushing my teeth regularly for the first time in my life (People here only start brushing their teeth after they get married)

    I took the decision to detox my life of toxic people and to develop healthy habits. So now I exercise 3 times a week doing r/bodyweightfitness (reddit) Recommended Routine with r/GripTraining routines (Gripper/Brachiation Basics/Rice Bucket and the stick flexion routine). I bought 2 face soaps, one for cleaning blackheads and one for cleaning my face in general and I use them everyday and now my skin is clearer.

    I have cut all kinds of bad drinks (pepsi/coca cola/excessive sugary drinks) cold turkey since 3 months ago.
    Also I cut all kinds of chips cold turkey since 3 months ago.

    But that doesn't mean I eat 100% right, I am still eating a bit of sweets and still eat junk food regularly but it's not as bad as before. My health has been better (As in improved/never had health problems/and I am not obese, skinny-fat)

    I am struggling with 3 things now:
    1. I can't seem to get the motivation to start studying for school (Grades aren't bad but I really need to raise them)
    2. I can't stop fapping
    3. I can't sleep more than 5-6 hours due to me sitting on my PC until 12:00 AM midnight.
    Safarkiller likes this.
  8. Safarkiller

    Safarkiller Fapstronaut

    My Suggestions is u need motivated yourself, u know better, i can do what you wany to do, put trust in you power will, challange yourself to be a best version of you. U deserve it,
    My opinion, u need to change your normally habit playing thay pc or the tips is replace the pc to the place everywant can see u while u playing it, because tht make u more motivated not to do anything wrong tht make u urge,
    I trust on u, u can stop fapping.
    The key of fapping is porn. So dont ever u watch tht, and dont ever u thinking bout porn, find the way to avoid porn, u are the best version of you, dont give up.

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