Doing harm to myself. Do anybody else feel this?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by heartpower, Feb 10, 2015.

  1. heartpower

    heartpower Fapstronaut

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    I'm wondering if anybody else feels physical and emotional pain from their addiction.

    I'm noticing, actually just really realizing, that with PMO, I am basically using MYSELF as a sex object. So I am degrading myself and developing a relationship with MYSELF, an unhealthy one at that.

    It splits me into two. When I am not active in my addiction, I am interacting with the world and relating in a beautiful way. When I AM active in my addictive, I am in my own world, and it is just me and myself.

    I really think this addiction strikes so many chords that are mental, emotional and spiritual. The issue is that I get cocky when I start to feel normal again. But a relapse is a relapse. I have to remember that!

    And I'm sure that most of us aren't used to feeling normal, used to being happy. But we have to if we want to enjoy our lives. So my goal as things get better is to do more creative/awesome things and really follow a spiritual/wholesome path.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. malemedusa

    malemedusa Fapstronaut

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    I feel exactly the same way you do and I'm sick and tired of being by myself all the time. despite the counter below, I am currently into my 10th day of my latest reboot. I haven't given up on myself and I never will. I will take this addiction down no matter what it takes!

    You are not alone my brother!!!
     
  3. heartpower

    heartpower Fapstronaut

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    It's really a blessing to not be alone in this. It's such a strange thing that has been causing me pain for many years. If you ever want to private message and chat about anything I'm always down. I'm finding that it's good to talk about.

    Regardless, best wishes and great job so far!
     
  4. ###

    ### Fapstronaut

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    I agree, spanksalot. In many ways, without knowing it, I was sexually abusing myself during the time I was PMOing. My poor body often didn't want to do it but I made it perform sexually anyway. It's not true for me that PMO doesn't hurt anybody--someone always gets hurt: me.
     
  5. We have to decrease one world and increase the other. The old world and the old man will increasingly feel foreign, unhealthy, and eventually dead. The new man will take his place and he's actually just the best version of the old man. He still has his scars and has learned from them. Enjoy the journey, it could all be over tomorrow so live today.
     
  6. I think sex is fundamentally about connection. PMO creates isolation. I have a psychiatrist friend who often says that 90%+ of all psychiatric problems are about related to a lack of meaningful, life-giving relationship. I agree with you, and would go as far as to say that PMO is one of the most harmful things we can do to ourselves. We're robbing ourselves blind.

    As to becoming cocky, I would say this: we run this risk when we do anything well. It's not a reason to continue in failure. Secondly, being "cocky" implies that we desire to distance ourselves from those who aren't as "good." That's one great thing about NoFap- it creates relationship in this struggle. When you reach your goal, will you want to post something like "You guys suck! I can't believe you're not as good as me! You can't even make 90 days! Wow, you're weak!"

    Of course you won't. If you're a helping hand to those who are still struggling, it keeps you connected- you can't become aloof and arrogant. If you do, you're harming yourself in a similar way to constant PMO- you're isolating yourself.

    Thoughts?
     
  7. heartpower

    heartpower Fapstronaut

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    Great comments guys! I agree completely that it is important to use your powers wisely and give back when things are going well. I suppose that when I am succeeding with this I am given abilities that I'm not used to having, like self-confidence and determination. When I'm active in my addiction it's all about me, but in a different way, I should say it's all about pleasing my lower desires. When I am free of my addiction, I'm more concerned with the greater good, and how improving myself contributes to that. So yes I catch your drift.
     

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