Don’t focus on women? Don’t fool yourself.

I read a lot of advices here from men that say: Don’t focus on women, focus on yourself, your growth, your goals. Women are a waste of time. And it is precisely these men that I see relapsing every time..

How crazy is that? Is it to convince yourself not to focus on women? Who are you kidding?

If you don’t focus on women, why do you have difficulty staying away from porn? Why are you keeping relapsing then? Watching porn is just focusing on multiple women, with multiple tabs open. Your brain thinks it has sex with multiple women and that you have a lot of choice.

If you focus on your goals and passion, you shouldn’t have time for watching porn? Watching porn = putting women on a pedestal.

Don't fool yourself. You and everyone wants to have a girlfriend, wife or FWB, deep down. Everyone wants to have sex. Almost every man looks at women, thinks of women. Women also often think of men. This is arranged from nature and it is human. Everyone wants to be touched, cuddled, experience intimacy, kiss, have sex etc. But porn can’t give you that. Having a partner is a human need, but porn is not a human need. You can go without that. I rather have lots of women and sex in real life than porn.

Look, women are not my main goal. I am free from porn over 3 years. My personal growth is my number 1 goal and that is why I have come so far and changed my whole life. But I rather have a real women in real life, than porn. That will be my next step. I had lots of sex with prostitutes, in swingerclubs and sexparties. I was just insecure, afraid for intimacy, to let women be close to me etc. (Porn fueled all of those problems) and that's why I went there. But I don’t want that anymore. I want to date women, learn lots of women and have healthy intimacy and sex. I want to cuddle with them, have them around me, laugh with them, look them in the eye, feel their body, their femininity. I just love women.

Having intimacy in real life rewires the brain from porn. That is what will work for the long term.

From the book The Porn Trap: