Don't Fit in. Don't Connect. Don't Take Bullets to Save Anyone.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Aiyoshi, Dec 23, 2016.

  1. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    People I try to make friendship with are way too normal. Doing normal things, discussing normal topics, living the normal way to live.

    If I want to make friends with people I would need to become a psycopath who carefully plans what to talk, why talk, when talk, the way to talk, persuade, know all different topics and spend time doing things just to connect, like watching movies and series...

    In fact until recently I didn't feel like I have more than one friend... Some of them was hard work...

    My old friends where people who I didn't consider friends in the difficult times. One said he don't need me in his life to live, he said he wouldn't take a bullet for me and I feel the same way about everyone. he was the same friend who I used to consider my BFF and he felt the same. We don't talk anymore.

    I only want to find someone, to deeply connect. Don't know how to do that, and know that it may be all in my mind and others may feel different, but the ones I know that are the only ones I'll work on keeping and developing...
    Deep down I wonder if I would really let them get shot.
     
    Lone_Wolf likes this.
  2. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    Making a loneliness diary was a great ideal, I'm happy about it.

    I'm also feeling very lonely this christimas.

    Said good bye to my old friends, only kept one, got out of their discord server and wheb one sent me a friendship request I wanted to cry. Being at my father house shows me even more how this isn't the place I belong, great things happend here, and they are good people, still there isn't a deep connection with them, wonder if there's even a connection.

    A.C.T. on this now, going with the flow and inbracing the sadness and loneliness. No bullets still.
     
    Lone_Wolf likes this.
  3. P__phonic

    P__phonic Fapstronaut

    I'm not sure if I fully understand what you mean by all this, but I'll say that you shouldn't give up on real connection with other people. Don't give up and embrace loneliness. What good will that do anyone? True, it takes hard work to make good friends, but it's rewarding for sure.

    You mention that your friends hang out on discord, or on the web. If you want my advice, look for friends in the real world. Online friends and people who are constantly connected to the virtual world do not usually make good friends.

    There is so much to do and see in the real world. At my college, almost everyone gives their attention to a smartphone or laptop 90% of the time. It's depressing, like being surrounded by a bunch of zombies. But there are people out there who are unplugged: people who know the beauty to be found in the real world. Look for friends among those people. Also, from personal experience, I recommend limiting time on the computer to a minimum. Then you'll really begin to see why friends are important.

    After reading some of your journal, I understand that you read the bible often. That's good. If you don't mind me asking, to which church do you go?

    Anyway, stay strong. I'll keep you in my prayers. Merry Christmas!
     
    BlackMarble likes this.
  4. BlackMarble

    BlackMarble Fapstronaut

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    Im not shure if someone said this or is a popular saying:

    "If you havent lost any friend is coz you haven´t changed" or so

    Recently because of many changes in my life, including facing PMO addiction, I discovered myself more lonely. I also found that feeling lonely since childhood was one of the main emotions that triggered PMO. Now that I face this lonely moments I always discover other stuff, other feelings, other worries, etc... PMO was the medicine to avoid emergent issues.

    The feeling of no-connecting to people is stronger when I find myself anticipating adn not being spontaneous or refraining myself of sharing the way I feel. Thats why I agree with @P_phonic, virtual contact is subject to edition and to anonimacy, I believe this favours less spontaneous interaction.

    I always say, we are own our filter in our relationships, if we lie on who we are then we relate to people connecting with those fake aspects of us.

    Lets inhabit loneliness the most sincerely we can
     
  5. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    @BlackMarble @P__phonic Thank you both for your insights (^-^)

    I go to a christian church, but haven't been going lately, this christmas was very lonely because going out in the real world and trying. Finding alot of places were I don't belong, these places say why I can't stay there and how much I don't care about people there. Most are family mettings.

    It will take some time until finding it, lots of invitations to accept and places to look for. Understand the statement about online friends, I desagre with it a bit, since there is need of online friends from different countries to talk with. Howerever these people have to be the right ones, not the ones who are negative or lool at nofap with contempt.

    The real world is a priority still, what made me most sad was that the only thing I have in common with my cousin is that we play league and I can't play with him right now due lack of computer.

    There are alot of places to try, I'll succed in the end.
    Feeling annoyed and irritated right now. Have a good day y'all
     

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