People I try to make friendship with are way too normal. Doing normal things, discussing normal topics, living the normal way to live. If I want to make friends with people I would need to become a psycopath who carefully plans what to talk, why talk, when talk, the way to talk, persuade, know all different topics and spend time doing things just to connect, like watching movies and series... In fact until recently I didn't feel like I have more than one friend... Some of them was hard work... My old friends where people who I didn't consider friends in the difficult times. One said he don't need me in his life to live, he said he wouldn't take a bullet for me and I feel the same way about everyone. he was the same friend who I used to consider my BFF and he felt the same. We don't talk anymore. I only want to find someone, to deeply connect. Don't know how to do that, and know that it may be all in my mind and others may feel different, but the ones I know that are the only ones I'll work on keeping and developing... Deep down I wonder if I would really let them get shot.