Dont know whats happening...

It has been one year since I had masturbated , And for the past few days I have been getting a lot of fantasies...initially they were of a girl a frequently talk to , but they eventually disappeared and i did not let them stay for long and i had stopped thinking about that girl in a sexual way, but later i started to fantasize about a totally different girl who i occasionaly talked to , but for the past few months i have not talked to her (we are in totally different places)and have only followed her on insta....when i started to think about her i gradually let the
fantasies stay longer until i would forcefully stop them and this only happened before sleeping or soon after waking up, until yesterday , when I fantasized about her for the whole day , I had strong erections , and some dopamine rushes , and maybe even some precum...until I would fight the fantasies and stop them , which would make me feel strong and fresh...even though the fantasy gave a slight feel of relapse , I would not count ut as one as i did not grab my penis at all and only touched the tip to see if there is any ejacuation(there was probably a little droplet of precum , but it could also be my imagination as i had spilled water on my pants)....even today morning i kept fantasizing in a similar manner , although did not have any sexual dream at all , and Iam also having slight fantasies whilst typing this.....
Interestingly , when i had recent fantasies about that girl , i would began to associate her with some of my old sexual fetishes that i would have never associated her with even when i used to think about her last year , but now , i do it..even though i do not associate her with them initially and even thinking of her face gives me erection...In other words I have developed a stronger crush on her.....


However , there is a little positive thing i noted....a few years ago, i would masturbate even to the smallest of the fantasies , but now , even though Iam having large fantasies , I eventually stop them and I have not touched my dick at all......which means that now I have 50% chance of relapse ,and
and 50% chance of continuing the streak....

A major method I used to suppress this fantasy and erection is that initially i would resist them ,and if that did not work , then I would go straight to washroom and urinate , and also i would pour cold water on my dick and balls , which would remove fantasy and also make me feel strong , despite the ,slight bad feeling i would have as if I relapsed...

Thanks for reading this , and please do give honest opinion and advise on this situation.........

 

Precum is not relapse. but try not to give your mind dopamine through it..I'm on day 75 I quite social media yesterday coz I'm also in same situation

 

Sad situation guys....I succumbed to the fantasies and urges and relapsed today...especially when i looked at the girls pictures and also looked at my fetishes....I feel so bad, especially bcoz my personality had significantly improved as i had not masturbated for a year , and now i feel all my efforts went down the drain....I badly need help to get back up again