Don't know who I am or what my purpose is

Since you are doing your reassessment why not try to assess what you would like to do, and try to devote some time to it?

 

You needn't feel defined by your job/career. Contrary to a lot of popular motivational advice along the lines of "Life's too short to do a job you don't enjoy!", I feel there's nothing wrong with a good job just being a means to an end. Sometimes just knowing that you're earning the money in order to accomplish {insert thing you want to do} is enough motivation to do the job well.

Whatever the job is though, it's always better to do it well, than just clock-watch and do just enough to get by. I think it stirs something inside us if we know we're living with integrity (i.e. are we working as hard as we should when we know no-one is looking).

As for finding a purpose in life, well that's the million dollar question isn't it? Where would you like your relationship with your girlfriend to go in the medium to long-term? Do you know what she wants from it?

24 is young. Like, really young in the scheme of things. I'm 33 and believe me, I was in a completely different place when I was 24, both emotionally and just in general life.

“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
Bill Gates

So chill. If you feel like you want to be alone, be alone. Ideally find time to get outside in nature, and just be alone with your thoughts. I'm sure you'll find your calling, whether it be a hobby, travel, adventure, putting down roots or whatever.

 

Save some money try to a achive your dreams after work you can do it

 

Sounds like depression self medicated with P to me. Then you feel like a failure and a fraud for using P, which feeds the depression in a negative feedback loop. Maybe I'm projecting. Does sound familiar though.

Think about therapy, take a survey from your doc and see if meds are an option. I'd say it's expensive but $300 on cam girls, damn. Diet & exercise is under control, no use with those platitudes.
When I started therapy the guy told me to forget NoFap for a while. Depression & suicide are bigger fish, then you take care of addiction after that. Still don't know if that was the best advice for me, but it also turned out I have ADHD. Again, I don't want to project, but it's something to consider. I recommend asking your doc about taking that survey too, just in case. All it takes is time, so it can't hurt. Keep us posted.

 

Maybe you could at least work in a firm with other people so you are not so isolated. Don't know if that would work for you but you'd have more contact which would make it easier not to give in. I understand how you feel, as has been related this behavior is a dead end loop which never changes, an addiction. Just relapsed myself after feeling my strength and confidence coming back. You are young which means you have more time on your side and most of your life ahead of you. Don't give up hope, people here will help you. Decide what will work best for you and find a way to beat this thing that keeps us down. There is no good in it.

 

Please don't isolate. That's what PMO encourages you to do which just keeps a negative spiral going. I would encourage you to pursue your passions - things that make you feel good, make you smile, etc, and not PMO. And regarding the career, you don't have to define yourself by that. The accountant training provided you good skills, and perhaps you work that for a short while while pursuing other passions. Those are good skills you learned and honed and will benefit you no matter what career/job you pursue. But you are way too young to be pigeon-holed into a career or job you don't like. Think of it this way, if you were just given a diagnosis that you had one year to live, what would you want to spend your time doing? I doubt it is staying isolated in your room, or working to balance just one more spreadsheet. Think of what brings you joy, or experiment with things that you think you might enjoy, and go for those. You are worth it, your life is precious and meaningful, and you deserve the kind of life that brings you joy. I wish you only the best.

 

A esa edad no tenía trabajo ni novia ... y muchos acá estarán en la misma situación, se nota que estás pasando por etapas depresivas, --Yo lucho con eso a diario-- Te deseo lo mejor... Tienes mucho a tu favor aún... Ánimo