Don't rest the quality of your life on being porn free.

[Hank Moody 99]

I 've seen a lot of people falling in this self -destructive mentality when being porn free is everything in their life.I see people like hitting 200 days their life is in order and they start doing big things but something happens they slip they start watching and that's it they sweep away their confidence and self esteem That slip turns into a binge and you'r back watching porn ... Don't get me wrong feeling happy about hitting 30 , 60 ,90 days or more is good and you should be proud .But there are people like me that it's just doesn't go well.So we fall in this very bad circle where quality of our lives depends on being porn free.It's okay for you to have goal to be porn free but there are more important goals out there and there is a lot of them. Don't rest the quality of your life on being porn free.Why ? Because this is addiction and addiction is categorized as losing control .Slip happens and you don't know when will you get back at porn.It's a very shaky foundation for you'r life. You can't put you'r main goal in life on something that you don't have control .You'r gambling you'r self-steam and confidence and you'r missing out a lot of things in life that way.Specially people who struggle leaving this addiction for long time ,this mentality caused more harm then this addiction .For people who struggle as me who are hitting their heads for long time and didn't get far . Take a break from being porn free but at least try to make decission not to watch porn if you can.Focus more important goals like having healthy routines and disciplines ,working out ,studying or focusing on a job, finding your passion or working on it ,finding you'r purpose in life. Starting relationships ,eating healthy. Focusing on you'r problems in life and trying to confront them. It's very important to stop watching porn but you need to realise that are more things to focus in life .Funny thing is that changing you'r focus on this things it's going to makes porn free a lot easier.


I know this is a long post but this problem is very common and this is my main problem so i wanted to get out of my chest . Maybe this streak mentality is even the reason why some are still addicts.

 

[Arjuna's path]

Quitting PMO means you're going to have a lot of extra time and energy available. If you invest it wisely, you will improve a lot, probably in different areas of your life. If you quit PMO but still waste your time and energy in meaningless things ... it's only a question of time you relapse and go back to square one.

Thanks!.

 

[Summer Son]

I agree, you have mentioned a good point. Some people on the forum are obsessed with their day counters, but it does not show the big picture. Really. When they relapse, their counter shows 'zero' and they discourage. And maybe they have a feeling that 'I have already relapsed and my counter shows 0 I can binge' This is so destructive if it happens. I think PMO spreadsheets or calendars are showing the bigger pictures about tracking. Or maybe porn is not option for you and you have decided to never gonna back to use it again, then don't count, and live your life with passion, find your purpose. I think many people on this forum are missing this point. Finding purpose may more important to having big numbers on a user's counter because the brain does not work like that.
Thanks for the post!

 

[Arjuna's path]

I agree, you have mentioned a good point. Some people on the forum are obsessed with their day counters, but it does not show the big picture. Really. When they relapse, their counter shows 'zero' and they discourage. And maybe they have a feeling that 'I have already relapsed and my counter shows 0 I can binge' This is so destructive if it happens. I think PMO spreadsheets or calendars are showing the bigger pictures about tracking. Or maybe porn is not option for you and you have decided to never gonna back to use it again, then don't count, and live your life with passion, find your purpose. I think many people on this forum are missing this point. Finding purpose may more important to having big numbers on a user's counter because the brain does not work like that.
Thanks for the post!

Impressive words. Thanks!.

 

[Hank Moody 99]

The point is that don't put leaving this addiction as a main goal in life. Because this is addiction and it's categorized as lossing control.Slip are going to happen so does relapses . I see people put this as a main goal in life they start doing healthy habits and all but when they slip they all go self loathing and sweep away all their habits and they destroy themselves with binge afterward . Why don't we just contiue with are lifes forgive our selfs and look at bigger picture. Leaving porn is not gonna fix you'r life ,fixing you'r life is going to leave porn. Addiction is symptom of problem that someone has in life..

 

[keepthefaith54]

Quitting PMO means you're going to have a lot of extra time and energy available. If you invest it wisely, you will improve a lot, probably in different areas of your life. If you quit PMO but still waste your time and energy in meaningless things ... it's only a question of time you relapse and go back to square one.

Couldn't agree more with this....if you're just sitting at home playing video games all day and doing absolutely nothing in your life, you'll eventually find your way back to porn.

You need to replace porn with other healthy and positive pro-social constructive behaviors. You can't just replace it with nothing.

 

[Summer Son]

. Addiction is symptom of problem that someone has in life..

Definitely! We are using porn to escape our feelings, bad emotions or 'emptiness' whatever. We are unable to lead our emotions or manage our lifes, so here comes to porn. It is a quick dopamine fix, it feels better for a short period of time when we feel 'low', and high goes away, then we can't focus, we feel bad about leading our life, our ability decreases when we don't feel 'high' and when we use porn again, cycle continues. We have to develop better life managing techniques that create permanent changes. That's because addiction is a 'symptom' not the reason of having a bad life. We have to learn how to control over our lifes without dopamine rushes that gives instant feelings.

 

[Outspaced]

Yeah, I, unfortunately, base my life on me quitting porn. I habe this mentality that am worthless when i pmo...and coz i cant stop you definitely see what am thinking. Am just clarifying what you said. And thanks.

 

[PopularLoner]

I 've seen a lot of people falling in this self -destructive mentality when being porn free is everything in their life.I see people like hitting 200 days their life is in order and they start doing big things but something happens they slip they start watching and that's it they sweep away their confidence and self esteem That slip turns into a binge and you'r back watching porn ... Don't get me wrong feeling happy about hitting 30 , 60 ,90 days or more is good and you should be proud .But there are people like me that it's just doesn't go well.So we fall in this very bad circle where quality of our lives depends on being porn free.It's okay for you to have goal to be porn free but there are more important goals out there and there is a lot of them. Don't rest the quality of your life on being porn free.Why ? Because this is addiction and addiction is categorized as losing control .Slip happens and you don't know when will you get back at porn.It's a very shaky foundation for you'r life. You can't put you'r main goal in life on something that you don't have control .You'r gambling you'r self-steam and confidence and you'r missing out a lot of things in life that way.Specially people who struggle leaving this addiction for long time ,this mentality caused more harm then this addiction .For people who struggle as me who are hitting their heads for long time and didn't get far . Take a break from being porn free but at least try to make decission not to watch porn if you can.Focus more important goals like having healthy routines and disciplines ,working out ,studying or focusing on a job, finding your passion or working on it ,finding you'r purpose in life. Starting relationships ,eating healthy. Focusing on you'r problems in life and trying to confront them. It's very important to stop watching porn but you need to realise that are more things to focus in life .Funny thing is that changing you'r focus on this things it's going to makes porn free a lot easier.


I know this is a long post but this problem is very common and this is my main problem so i wanted to get out of my chest . Maybe this streak mentality is even the reason why some are still addicts.

Wow this is so true... Honestly I relate to this mindset in my journey I'm trying to improve in other aspects that I feel I have fall short in life I'm not just thinking of ending this porn addiction alone I am doing this and tackling a bunch of other things too that I want to improve at the same time. Thanks for bringing this to light.

 

[Deleted Account]

Definitely! We are using porn to escape our feelings, bad emotions or 'emptiness' whatever. We are unable to lead our emotions or manage our lifes, so here comes to porn. It is a quick dopamine fix, it feels better for a short period of time when we feel 'low', and high goes away, then we can't focus, we feel bad about leading our life, our ability decreases when we don't feel 'high' and when we use porn again, cycle continues. We have to develop better life managing techniques that create permanent changes. That's because addiction is a 'symptom' not the reason of having a bad life. We have to learn how to control over our lifes without dopamine rushes that gives instant feelings.

Very accurate! I can see this in my own life.

 

[Deleted Account]

Leaving porn is not gonna fix you'r life ,fixing you'r life is going to leave porn.

Because of PMO, many things go wrong in our lives and we continue to PMO because many things go wrong.This is a disgusting cycle and the first step to get out of this cycle is to get rid of PMO.Then, as you mentioned, we have to fight to fix things that go wrong.Thanks for the post.