Don't Want to Be Ruled by this Anymore

Hi, everyone. I am here because I don't feel healthy compulsively masturbating all the time. It has lead me to do things I'm ashamed of and it has lead me to isolate from my wife. We haven't had sex in about 15 months. Until about a month ago, I thought it was due to her admitted low sex drive. But now I realize that I haven't initiated sex during that time either. There have been times when we had the opportunity and I chose mo instead. I don't like how it makes me feel about myself and I ashamed of my scarred dick from beating off so much through life. I want to be healthy and in control, so that's why I'm here.