Dont want to live

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by ProboyMate, Jul 7, 2019.

  1. Captain Lawrence

    Captain Lawrence Fapstronaut

    It is an addiction some people use alcohol, cigarettes or drugs to numb their emotions and feelings, in our case porn takes the place of the others. Don't give up, I don't know if you believe in God, but God loves you and everyone and doesn't want anyone to be in this situation. I'll be praying for you.
     
    Self Worth likes this.
  2. Self Worth

    Self Worth Fapstronaut

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    use a boxing bag and put your uneasy energy into beating the shit out of it and you'll start to feel comfortable in your body.

    also find your anger build it up i think that's cure for depression because to have anger is to care

    turn into a beast, shout whenever there opportunity especially at people, speak louder in general, be competitive, say no to things you don't want to do, be disagreeable, take no shit.

    the uneasiness is due to rise in energy so you have to express the energy or the tension builds up.

    so get better at expressing the energy not suppressing it.

    its like you trained everyday to suppress the anxiety feelings and in turn you suppressed your feelings. now you got to do the opposite and try to feel, amplify the good feelings and don't suppress the bad feelings express them.
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2019
    PeterBE likes this.
  3. Faiziarbb

    Faiziarbb Fapstronaut

    I am 19 , I will not Go into my Story because it is Full of triggers and temptations but here are 5 Tips Which would i love to give to my younger self .

    So here it is, my 5 TIPS TO SUCCESS:


    1)

    MOST IMPORTANT REALIZATION: your time here is LIMITED


    We are only young for a short period of time! LIVE A GREAT AWESOME LIFE !
    YOUTH IS FLEETING, If you haven't noticed by now, time runs FAST! Man it really does!

    THE TIME IS NOW! WHEN WE GET OLDER LET THERE BE NO REGRET
    REALLY THE SADDEST OF ALL EMOTIONS!

    LIVE: FULLY, CONFIDENTLY, PURELY ; BE DISCIPLINED, FIGHT FOR GOOD,
    DENY THE BAD, BE FOREVER WATCHFUL , BE VICTORIOUS , BE FREE, PURE,
    HEALTHY, BRIGHT AND LOVE ALL THAT IS GOOD!

    JUST LIKE THAT 2 MORE YEARS WILL PASS BY. IF YOU ARE UNDER 25 YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.
    THAT'S WHY IM TELLING YOU.
    IN YOUR LATE 20s YOU WILL DISCOVER YEARS PASS BY LIKE THEY WERE MONTHS!

    YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO PLAY AROUND WITH THIS! YOU GOTTA BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT.




    2)

    THE FOUNDATIONAL QUESTION:


    HOW BAD IS IT TO RELAPSE JUST 1 MORE TIME?

    OUR MINDS WORK VERY SUBTLY,
    AND LET ME REVEAL THE BIGGEST TRICK YOUR MIND PULLS ON YOU:
    YOUR MIND BACKWARDS RATIONALIZES , - IT MAKES EXCUSES TO JUSTIFY DOING THINGS THAT YOU WANT TO DO, EVEN THOUGH IT IS ACTUALLY BAD TO DO IT!!

    So, when the urges hit you strong, you MAKE IT OK in your head, and only afterwards do you realize OH NO, THAT WAS A BAD IDEA!

    This types of tricks that your mind plays on you are MANY MANY! Some of them are:

    * "Ah, I'll just do it this time.. I've done it many times before, this is just 1 more time.. let me just do it now, and sometime later I will really stop.. etc.. "

    * " I had a good run, nothing bad happens if I relapse now, my progress is still not destroyed.."

    * " I have to do it, to release the tension.. , it''s healthy to do it.."

    * " The pleasure is worth it .. "

    * "Ah just do it" - and let your mind go blank

    * "Everybody does it.. "

    ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE LIES! - Tricks - and there are million other tricks with which you trick yourself.

    So, the one THING that will really really get you to realize the KEY TO SUCCESS is THE ANSWER TO THIS 1 QUESTION:

    1 RELAPSE. Can't be that bad right? Just 1 RELAPSE. What, is it that bad ??


    THE ANSWER:

    1 RELAPSE = creates a spiral of 1 relapses , where you can not stop! Because you always justify it as just 1 relapse.
    1 RELAPSE = CAN LEAD TO YEARS OF ADDITIONAL STRUGGLE!

    1 relapse is not just 1 relapse. It is a bundle of 1 relapses and IT CAN WASTE YOU YEARS!


    1 RELAPSE = it destroys much of your progress. It is wasting time. it will take weeks or months to get back to that level.
    And it may happen again and again.
    Time is the most precious thing you got!!!! AND IT IS LIMITED!!!!

    TIME IS THE KEY! IT RUNS FAST!

    1 relapse is all it takes to waste years repeating the same mistake..
    Let's say our best years are from 18 - 35 (in terms of energy, dating, life excitement, building character...)
    So many young men TODAY flush all of their best years down the toilet! Don't "ENJOY STUPIDLY" YOU ARE DIGGING A HOLE! STOP!

    TREASURE YOUR LIFE! TREASURE YOUR TIME!
    1 RELAPSE = THAT IS What this is all about. Just take care of that 1! DO NOT DO IT!





    3)

    RULES TO OBEY


    So the first 2 points are about understanding the "HARSHNESS" and REALITY of TIME and ACTIONS.

    3rd point is WHAT YOU MUST KNOW AND DO TO GET YOUR SELF UNDER CONTROL.

    MEDITATE ON EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THIS POINTS! THIS WILL DETERMINE YOUR SUCCESS


    1) SEXUAL CURIOSITY (on internet) IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE ACTED UPON!

    There is a reason I put this rule No.1 ! - Internet world is FULL of TRIGGERS.
    Many times it start with some small trigger - a simple picture that is just a bit too revealing, and then it spirals and spirals until you are overpowered by lust and go "crazy".

    "Let me look just a little" is NOT ALLOWED! Don't blame yourself for being curious but don't go down that road either.
    Ignore it and put it out of your mind. Do this repeatedly if you have to.

    (My personal tip is also this, you may or may not find it helpful:
    imagine that you physically grab the lustful thought which you want to eliminate with your hand and throw it out and then burn it or something -
    do this with some intensity and moving your hands and even perhaps using your voice)

    Practicing this rule will make your mind stop being curious about those things automatically
    after you've successfully done it a couple of times.

    And that is already what will be a great accomplishment!

    Also,
    THIS IS A FOREVER RULE. EVEN AFTER WEEKS , MONTHS, YEARS, even when you are "HEALTHY" ,
    acting on your lustful curiosity may DESTROY your progress quickly!!!

    This decisions are LIFETIME decisions!

    NEVER DO ANY CLICK ON YOUR COMPUTER THAT IS IN THE SLIGHTEST DIRECTION TO PORN.
    The little clicks of curious wondering are deadly. Don't! Deny it. Just ignore your curiosity. Let it go.

    And testing to see how you respond to porn is really the most DANGEROUS thing you can do. DO NOT DO IT!


    2) When you feel the smallest LUST / TEMPTATION TO PMO IMMEDIATELY DENY IT! SAY NO!
    Say it with POWER! ACTUALLY Imagine those dark forces inside you and throwing that lustful ugly feelings out!!! SERIOUSLY!
    You will never beat porn if you don't do the difficult! Deny it!
    This is YOU, YOUR LIFE, wake up! Be STRONG! If you do that you will WIN the battle every single time!

    And THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT ALL OF THIS IS, WITH GOING AGAINST YOUR SELF - AGAINST YOUR
    "BAD DESIRES" AND CHOOSING BETTER THINGS, YOU WILL CHANGE YOURSELF A LITTLE BIT.

    YOU WILL BECOME ONE DEGREE MORE OF WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
    In time you change so much, PMO is the furthest thing from your mind.

    I am an example of that.

    3) CATCH THE TEMPTATION EARLY! IMMEDIATELY!! GET INTO A NEW MIND-STATE

    This one may be the most important one!
    This is how it works. It starts as a small desire, then it sits in your head and in your body and it gains in power.

    THIS ONE IS SOOOO IMPORTANT. If you are too late, porn will overpower you.

    The urges will build , DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. RE-FOCUS your thoughts. RE-EVALUATE your life plan.

    DO SOMETHING. GO OUTSIDE. A walk, or jogging or prayer or cold shower or call a friend etc. Wash "bad thoughts" off of you.
    Fight them. If you want to be free, you will have to prove it!

    If you have small porn desires and you allow them to be there, then you don't want to get rid of porn strong enough.
    That is like allowing a lion around sheep just because a lion is currently sleeping.. NO WAY!

    4.) DONT JUSTIFY DOING IT.

    If you decided to not do that, don't do it. NO JUSTIFYING! EVER! If you
    fail you will regret it. There is no one final time to do it. There is no comparing yourself to
    others.. there is no "this temptation is too strong" .. NOTHING! JUST DON'T DO IT.

    Strongly decide to never do it, and your mind won't even go there. -
    that is biggest SURPRISE REALIZATION I had when I started this journey!
    It is like, if you found out that you are seriously allergic to some food,
    after that you DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT.
    You just don't eat it. And it's not even a problem.

    This one is soooo snekay. Your mind will tell you well you can start this no porn thing at some other time again..
    And many other tricks. Really just become aware of your thoughts and feelings and realize you are often
    subconscioulsy JUSTIFYING things you WANT but logically know that are BAD.



    5) FORGET AND IGNORE WHAT YOU ARE FIGHTING AGAINST, WHEN THERE IS NO TEMPTATION

    JUST LIKE IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN ADDICTION TO HARD DRUGS. YOU WONT REALLY BE THINKING ABOUT THEM TOO MUCH.
    BUT THERE ARE STRONG DECISIONS INSIDE OF YOU THAT YOU KNOW YOU WON'T DO THEM IF YOU EVER HAD THE CHANCE.

    IGNORE THE BAD. REDIRECT YOUR THOUGHTS.

    If case of dreams and images and thoughts
    hitting us , do not dwell on them, but simply sort of push them aside and ignore them.
    Immediately take a deep breath and direct your attention elsewhere.


    6) READ YOUR LIST OF RULES REGULARLY!
    READ AND RE-READ AND RECOMMIT TO THE PROCESS! Internalize the "rules".
    Honestly after a while, you will not have to think about them or re-read or anything.. You will internalize them rather quickly.




    4)

    BONUS TIPS:



    REMEMBER YOUR PAST. REMEMBER WHAT FAILURE DOES! HOW BAD YOU FELT! WRITE IT DOWN!
    We are so quick to forget! Please do that! Don't be reminded at a relapse. Be forewarned.

    One of the problems is , in the heated moments you may not want porn lust to leave you - because it feels good.
    BUT IT CAN LEAVE IF YOU WANT it to leave and DECIDE to battle it out!

    If you wait, the feeling will overwhelm you in time and you will be powerless.
    The only way is to SAY NO EARLY EARLY EALRY!!!

    And it helps to say NO if you know WHY you have to say NO. This is it. Have the reasons in your mind.
    Because once the strong temptation hits, they will not be found in your head, unless you have them prepared in advance.



    WHEN THE URGES HIT, THINK ONLY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU RELAPSE
    YOU ARE LOST AND DEFEATED
    AND YOU LOSE POWER , LOSE CONFIDENCE ETC.

    SO CHANGE IT! 1 HOUR later, you'll be smiling and be happy that you did not relapse.

    Don't look back 5 years from now in utter defeat. DON'T DO IT. That is the only key to success. DO NOT DO IT.


    RECORD YOUR BENEFITS OF SUCCESS
    There will be many.


    NO EXCUSES! You are choosing between REGRET and VICTORY!

    You can do it.

    The past experiences have brainwashed us into thinking
    it's harder than it actually is. We remember failing, but don't remember
    that we could easily have chosen not to do it. This is 100% within your control
    .

    HAVE CONFIDENCE [​IMG]
     
  4. AlphaAlone

    AlphaAlone Fapstronaut

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    Past can't be changed. But you can make your own future the way you want if you work on it .

    Look I don't have any friends ,no job, nothing, and since 2016-2017 my life is my computer. I never had a proprer girlfriend and I am virgin at 20 years old.

    I was bullied many times during my childhood and my teenage years, lived some times under the care of the state, during that period I almost ended up in the criminal-life like some boys who where in the same place did. My father was a irresponsible alcool-drug addict .My mom despite being a very brave women get along with some cunts who make myself feel even more insecure.

    And I also have/had some more specifics problems with myself just like you.

    But I really hope I will make it, and by the time I reach your age I want to have a happy and good life. I honestly don't know if I will ever be able to have my own familly and get with a nice girl/friends but I keep going.

    You are still young, you life are still in the first steps, you can change. You can become the guy you want to be . But you must start NOW not tommorow , not next month, NOW. (By the way this apply to myself)
     
  5. AlphaAlone

    AlphaAlone Fapstronaut

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    Im more interested in what kind of specific problems it made for u

    After many familial problems and life problems in my younger days , I started suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder/compulsive behavior (playing with my hands), which lasterd till my 13-14 years old. ( Completly "cured" of it since years now)

    Though I managed to control it, sometimes I did it in school (usualy for a brief moment when I was stressed) and as you expect, this make me a easy target for bullies.

    I am also hyperactiv and suffer from dyxpraxia due to my father genetic. Although both where not developed in regards of some people who are much more affected. In fact I manage to get better with it as I am getting older and older.


    All those problems despite being much better now, left a mark on me.

    -Being bullied and rejected made me violent and hateful myself.


    Now I am afraid of getting a job/having new bonds because.

    -I think people while mock me again for whatever reason despite not having now any specific serious problem

    -I don't want to be around people

    -Either it would end up in a fight or in a argument if I am around "normies" guys.

    -Girl would mock me because.. I dunno honnestly. But a part of my mind are saying they will.

    -Even if by some kind of miracle I get a girlfriend/a group of friends that would only be short and then all will break up again.


    how u plan on getting out of it, taking action is ofcourse important but its just two words its not a solution when u know solution u can take action,


    For me the solution it's breaking the routine. Breaking the habbit like Liking park said.

    -No more nothingness I must act, which means:

    -Serious sportiv activity.

    -I am out of system and don't have anything ? Yes, but I have time and I have some money, I should read books, documents and studies of whatever interest me.

    -Try to get a job, despite being afraid , because I know I am a death weight for my family right now.

    When all of this is seriously done I think I can start thinking about a life-goal.

    And I think nofap is the first step and the first point if I want to succeed all this. Nofap for me is the hammer and the rest is the iron. Maybe it's the same for you.
     
  6. Self Worth

    Self Worth Fapstronaut

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    Do it in an uncalm manner then, I noticed that once you express yourself you put it outside and a lot of the tension goes. When sparing you'll likely not be allowed to hit in face for that reason, even if that's not the case, here's the opentunity to express yourself say how you truely feel, so say to your sparing partner no hitting in the face I want keep that for the ladies. He doesn't have to agree you can find a new partner that's no problem. The workplace is different I wouldnt go shouting at your boss but if you have concerns make them heard in a more friendly manner. As for your coworkers you should try get along with there is nothing wrong with being competitive but you should do it in a playful manner.

    I think you got to be yourself how can you feel good when your not yourself or feel you can't be yourself. "don't hide your emotions you can trow down your guard and feed from the notion we can be who we are"

    How can you live when you don't express yourself it's not living its just existing, your a person you got to be yourself fuck other people you don't owe them a dam thing, you do you. You have the right to have your own opinion, dont live because that's how people want you to live, live because that's how you want to live.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2019
    PeterBE likes this.
  7. Hopefulistic

    Hopefulistic Fapstronaut

    How are you?

    I'm sorry you feel this way. Losing a lot of years of your life without any accomplishment is daunting. You feel like you're under your society's control. I mean who are they to decide our lives?

    I'll help you break from this hell: Societies, as a rule of thumb, block all opportunities you could seize and box you in one lifestyle. These societies are invisible tyrannical dictators.

    Here's what I do: I search for the lifestyle suitable for me and limit my interactions with my society and those who force modes of living on us.
    _______________________________________________________________________________

    While you're living the lifestyle you want and limiting yourself from your society, do nofap. I'm a man who used to have an 88 days free of PM. Then, over a 9-month period, I fapped 2-3 times a week. If you look at my counter, you'll see I regained m life after learning from the 9-month period.
     
    PeterBE likes this.
  8. Faiziarbb

    Faiziarbb Fapstronaut

    Its your Opinion bro . i did What i think Best for you
     
  9. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Great! All you are looking for is inside of you. The Kingdom of Heaven is inside of you - not outside. Search and you will find.
     
  10. AlphaAlone

    AlphaAlone Fapstronaut

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    @ProboyMate Well not like you, but I have a serious distruss of people yeah. I don't get along with other young adults and let alone with girls.

    And as I said I am quite afraid of responsibility.

    What do you think ? Can you do the same program as I ? Or do you think it would never work with you ?
     
  11. flyinglizard

    flyinglizard New Fapstronaut

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    i'm 26, have suicidal thought too, jobless, no girl, have almost no "real" friend, you are not alone dude, just keep going, as long as we still breathing, there will always be a good thing, keep breathing bro, we don't know what future holds.
     
  12. AlphaAlone

    AlphaAlone Fapstronaut

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    @ProboyMate


    Program

    Nofap+sport (you should maybe try boxing, like another guy suggested)+take actions, little actions and little steps and then when you feel ready take bigger ones. At least this is what I would try to do like I said.
     
  13. AlphaAlone

    AlphaAlone Fapstronaut

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    @ProboyMate And how do you feel about it ? Nofap I mean. Do you feel better in some ways ?
     
  14. Selix

    Selix Fapstronaut

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    you'll get there dude just be patient and disciplined

    and please give no chance to self-pity focus your energy on becoming a better person
     
  15. TheSlyFly

    TheSlyFly Fapstronaut

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    If you don't have aphantasia like me visualization is great, guided meditation is amazing(headspace to ease you into it can help) I'd really suggest reading my introduction post right:
    HERE
    I've been exactly where you are man, multiple times, almost succeeding twice, but so grateful I didn't you wouldn't believe how much can change, it's one of the only constants in life(change) along with death and taxes haha. :D
    PLEASE watch these videos right: HERE as well :) I'm sure they'll help quite a bit, they did for me at least
     
  16. Hopefulistic

    Hopefulistic Fapstronaut

    I used to have anxiety until I stopped talking badly about my parents to people?

    Do you do that?

    It sounds far fetched, but please try it.
     
  17. Hopefulistic

    Hopefulistic Fapstronaut

    Im so sorry, man. I hope you become the guy you want to be.
     
  18. Siegfried31

    Siegfried31 Fapstronaut

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    Man I know how you feel. I am bipolar. But had some episodes that could be classified as schizoid. I was able to only lie in bed, the neurotic compulsive thoughts were so strong. It lasted almost 3 years. Constantly, everyday suffering. Now I have a wife, job, friends. It is all some nightmare from the past. Even one day of normal life is worth the struggle. You will recover, and find a way to live happily. Please man, do not give up.
     
  19. TheSlyFly

    TheSlyFly Fapstronaut

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    all types of meditation are great, I can't personally say I practice it consistently or anything, but I've definitely had meditation where I did it unknowingly of the name nor it's meaning; it can definitely help, but I'd practice all kinds and see how it helps you. :) Good luck brother
     
  20. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    thank you for the share!!! Downloaded it!!!
     

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