Dopamine and just edging

Having sexual thoughts or keep thinxing about sex scenes(porn) or fantasies is olso edging.

people allways thinx its only edging if you are touching yourself but its not

 

It's correct that PM is what produces the dopamine spike. However, it is not right to say that dopamine is the sole reason for addiction. Norepinephrine is also a culprit during PM.

Orgasm, on the other hand, primarily releases seratonin and oxytocin. These are chemicals that invoke feelings of calm and tranquility. Biologically, those chemicals tend to bring a couple closer after sex. But in isolation, those chemicals can be used to sedate or self-medicate against feelings of stress, anxiety, etc., which make them just as vulnerable to addictive dependency.

@nitsuj0786 is right when he says that PM are definitely addictive ... but he's wrong when he suggests that orgasm is not.

For clarification, I do agree that prolonged edging is without a doubt much, much worse than a quick PMO.

 

It sounds like he's not paying very close attention to the "M" part of "no PMO".

 

He's doing hard mode reboot in a relationship. Basically what we do is like tantric sex where he doesn't finish. He might get close a few times and have to slowdown and relax but doesn't O. He says he hasn't been sore after, his urges aren't unbearable the next day. Our sessions last longer and frequency is daily where before was only 1-2x/wk.

 

No what I'm saying is he is getting close to O (aka edging) during sex w me but not finishing only I am.

 

Well, if it's providing benefits for you both, why question it? Although in my opinion, 'hard mode' always meant no sex whatsoever, even in a relationship ... but obviously every person in this battle has the freedom to define what recovery looks like for them.

Daily sex probably isn't helping him much from a brain chemistry perspective, and it's hard for me to imagine his brain truly 'rebooting' with daily sexual activity. But obviously I'm not going to judge--you two are in a relationship and you have to decide what's best, both for the relationship and for each of you individually.

 

then just ten seconds. I know it is hardm if you can not go thirty seconds you may need to g into no touching mode. get in touch with your inner emmotions instead, at the times you need to o, get used to the feeling. bare with it.

 

Thanks I was looking for others thoughts/opinion/experience on it bc I just don't want to inhibit his recovery at all.

 

WHY? If you get a orgasme inside a girl youre body gives you large amounts of REAL DOPAMINE HORMONS that will make you happy. it isn't the same dopamine rush like watching porn or masturbating ITS THE REAL THING.

its like saying getting a better job, achieving youre goals winning a marathon is bad BECAUSE IT GIVES YOU DOPAMINE.. No not at all its a reward of something you seek and wanted.

The problem is that most man are so adicted to porn and masturbation their dopamine cycle is just broken and doesn't work normal thats what we call rebooting getting it back on track. Thats where the big super powers come from the urge to seek woman the drive to succes "search for dopamine' because you don't get dopamine rushes.


Sex olso gives extra hormons changes at youre body wich will make you more actractive. So sex isn't bad .. it can olso make the girl more atracted to you because of hormon changes. it brings you closer to eachother of you orgasme

 

edging is literally torture and the reason for my recent relapse. Don't even do it.

 

This is 100% false. There is no such thing as "real dopamine" and "fake dopamine." When you have a spike in dopamine/seratonin/oxytocin, your brain doesn't know or care if it's from porn or from a flesh-and-blood partner.

Think about it. The reason porn is so addictive is because it hijacks a natural biological drive. We see a pornographic image and we think "oh look! It's a super hot, sexual woman who's ready to go!", and we get an erection. Our brain doesn't go, "oh, that's just an image on the computer screen," no ... our brains (and bodies) react as if it's a real experience.

The reason NoFappers call it "hard mode" is because they're literally denying themselves any sexual release whatsoever. Most do it because they believe that gives them the best chance of truly rebooting their brain. I'm inclined to agree with them.

Imagine if you had someone who was a compulsive alcoholic. He realizes he has a problem and needs help. He starts taking steps to quit. But say he's in a relationship, and drinking is one of the things they've always enjoyed--it's been a big part of their relationship. They have wonderful memories of drinking together, and as long as they were together, it seemed to be a perfectly healthy behavior.

Now, if that alcoholic tried getting sober, but allowed himself to drink with his girlfriend, how much success do you think he'd have?

Again--I'm not going to judge anyone's recovery, especially when the complexities of being in a relationship are there. You guys have to do what's best for you. Part of that is (both of you) deciding if sex is a bigger priority than his reboot. Part of it is (both of you) deciding if the relationship is a higher priority than his own individual goals for rebooting. There are no right or wrong answers to those questions--you guys just need to decide together what's best.

 

This is incorrect.

The speed of the rubbing or stroking of the penis may vary to navigate right to the edge of ejaculation. With orgasm control, a male can experience a longer or more intense orgasm, as well as a larger volume of semen expelled during his ejaculation. Because solo masturbation allows for precise control over the feelings, the timing, and the speed of stimulation, many people practice orgasmic control by themselves. One technique, commonly referred to as 'edging', involves masturbating up until the moment before reaching the plateau phase just before orgasm occurs, and then stopping suddenly before experiencing a climax. Another technique, commonly referred to as 'surfing', involves reaching the plateau phase and slowing down the stimulation to maintain a heightened level of sensation for an extended time. Repeating either of these techniques many times during a single masturbation session may result in a stronger, more intense orgasm.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm_control#In_masturbation

 

That's fair, I guess.

I can only speak from my own experience, though ... and in my experience, I've been able to use sex with a partner just as compulsively and addictively as I used porn.

Obviously I don't think sex is bad in and of itself--quite the contrary. Sex is one of the best things in life. But I suppose I have to qualify it by saying that I think sex is amazing in the context of a committed, healthy relationship. If that's the scenario, then absolutely, it's healthy. But I'd say that casual sex--or worse, anonymous sex--are every bit as destructive as PMO and possibly worse, even though they involve a real partner.

 

Yes except he is doing orgasm control during sex. We are married.
Also an alcoholic is quitting drinking alcohol but not drinking liquids in general. He can still recover when drinking he can just never drink alcohol again bc he's an addict. You need to drink to survive it's a necessity.

 

Edging isn't something most people will do in moderation. The very nature of it is about excess. I think it's far worse and more addictive than regular old jerking to orgasm