DP/DR/BRAIN FOG

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Jan 21, 2018.

  1. outwithold

    outwithold Fapstronaut

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    I believe we can heal in many ways and 100% live better lives, but I also believe that as soon as i became an addict and admitted to myself I cant control this ive realised it is a life times work to keep from returning to my addiction. I have been turning to my PMO fix for all sorts of reasons whether I care to admit it or not.its been an outlet from many things, sometimes I just did it for the sake of it, sometimes I was stressed and rushed home to do it, sometimes I spent pretty much all day doing it, there's been consequences as well.
    My take on it is that an addict can stop addiction behaviour for 20 years but if that addict PMO's again then boom the addictions back, as the addict will pull straight back into that mentality of oh it was only once, its my birthday, its been 20 years surely I can control it now etc etc..
    Id really love to think I can out battle this, but I lost the battle a long time ago if I'm honest.
    That's the way I feel about my addiction.
     
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  2. Anurag12

    Anurag12 Fapstronaut

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    Sex Addiction is more difficult to overcome but porn addiction can be overcome.
     
  3. Why would someone relapse after 20 years of being sober? it doesn't really make sense mate. We need to do our best to stay sober for the rest of our lives. Yes, we may relapse here and there, but the most important thing is to get back up again and to NOT binge. We are humans we make mistakes. One relapse doesn't exactly make us go back to day 0 again mate.
     
  4. They can still be overcome.. let's think positive.
     
    AspiringVitality likes this.
  5. I believe I will be healed when I no longer even think about PMO in my life anymore. Maybe I will think about it here and there, but it will never be an option for me anymore. That is RECOVERY for me.
     
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  6. RPos

    RPos Fapstronaut

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    It's interesting to read everyone's post here. Just thought I'd put my thoughts out there. I'm a recovering drug addict. Valium was always my drug of choice, although have developed others though substitution behaviours. It's a great solution short term, but causes me a whole host of problems and pain long term. My usage was always based around attempting to control my depression, anxiety, and dp/dr/brain fog.
    There is no difference between drug addiction and porn addiction. Your simply not ingesting a substance. However, what you are doing, is releasing a huge amount of dopamine into the brain. This is no different than cocaine. If fact, the crash afterwards, for me, is barely distinguishable. As is the urge to "redose".
    The way I see it, sex and food are the original addictions. And also, I would argue, the most difficult to overcome. Let me explain. The brains reward circuitry originates to enforce you seek out sex and food. The primary driving forces in life being survival and replication. With any addiction, the compulsive, obsessive behaviours become established by effectively highjacking this system. Again, I refer here to cocaine as a primary example due to its primary effects on short term enhancement of dopamine.
    I have successfully stopped my drug use for upto 12 months successfully in the past, 7 months recently, and currently 1 month in. I have never managed to achieve PMO abstenance for longer than 14days. It's by far my greatest challenge to date. It's just so natural. Also, having a sex addiction which predates this complicates things even more. Imagine this scenario. We can make a decision to abstain from substance misuse, as quite obviously this is bad for us. Sex on the other hand, not so easy. You may abstain from PMO, be then have sex with a beautiful girl, your still activating those same pathways. Which, for me, has then been a trigger to PMO afterwards and in subsequent days and we're away again.
    Now let's go back to substance misuse. Any recovering addict will realise that 1 is too many and a thousand never enough. The recovering alcoholic understands and realises he can't just have one or Its game over. Same applies to porn. However, what makes porn more difficult, is you can never avoid sex forever.
    So what's the solution?
    You need to be committed at all costs if you ever want your life back. This addiction will bring you to your fucking knees. More than any other addiction. And, for me personally, is way more damaging in its effects. And I speak from experience. But we can't just white knuckle this. Perhaps in the early days, yes, together with distraction techniques. These will get us through the initial 7-14days with hard work. For the long term, we've really gotta take a hard look at ourselves and our lives. Introspection. Ask yourself 1 question. Are you happy? And if the answer is no, then ask yourself WHY. If we don't address this, then we will always end up back in the same place. In my experience, and humble oppinion, people generally over complicate addiction. So let's simplify it. What is addiction? The dictionary defines it as a behaviour which 1. We cannot stop and 2. Has negative reprocussions. So what is a behaviour? An action. What supersedes all action? Motivation. So addiction is motivation to act. Motivation comprises of two elements. Aversion of pain and the receipt of pleasure. This exists on a sliding scale. Once we recognise what motivates us to act, we look at healthier ways to avoid pain and pleasure seek. We also need to create leverage. We must out weigh the urge to use by the desire to stop, or we will loose everytime.
    I'm gonna leave it there.
    I just jumped back on the forum and this post just brought up afew things I needed to reaffirm to myself, and perhaps maybe, may even help someone else along the way.

    Rick.
     
  7. outwithold

    outwithold Fapstronaut

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    I think many think porn addiction and sex addictions are different, the end product is the same I'm afraid..the same chemicals rushing around the body and the same orgasm..
    I cant fool myself its different. If I want to dissect it then from thinking about it, in many ways porn addiction is 'worse'..as I very much doubt anyone will find the fantasy situations that are depicted in porn from a real relationship.
    I know i have to be careful and remember in reality at anytime i could be pulled back to it if i don't be sensible and treat the addiction as serious as any other.
    ultimately I can only make sure i follow the path I believe to be the most truthful and honest and comment on what I've found from my own addiction issues.
    My interests are only in long term sobriety.
    Its worrying when someone says why would an addict relapse after 20 years..
    The answer is simply.. Because they are an addict.
     
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  8. We can overcome this addiction. I will prove u wrong mate
     
    AspiringVitality likes this.
  9. Umm no. How the hell would someone be an addict after being sober for 20 years? They would have recovered from the addictions effects. I agree that they can still go back to the addiction but if their urges do decrease significantly, so I don't understand why they would do that. Why would someone abstain for 20 years just to go back to it? As RPos mentioned aboveboard if ur drive to succeed is stronger than the urges u will succeed! And u can be healed! Why do u have to make things seem so complicated?
     
    AspiringVitality likes this.
  10. What day are u on by the way?
     
  11. outwithold

    outwithold Fapstronaut

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    Everyday is day zero as I treat everyday pretty much the same in respect of my addictions.it sounds like it makes it hard work but actually realising that is freeing,as is realising I personally am an addict for the rest of my life.
    How many days have passed is irrelevant to me.

    Im not arguing against your thinking brother as we are all at different stages of recovery and I'm not making it complicated just saying how I perceive it.
     
  12. outwithold

    outwithold Fapstronaut

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    I'm thankful for each day I don't act on my addictions.
     
  13. RPos

    RPos Fapstronaut

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    There's two different schools of thought on this. If you take a CBT approach to addiction, addiction is a learned behaviour, and any behaviour can be unlearned. In contrast to this, you follow the 12 step anonymous school of thought, you accept you are powerless against your addiction, and that you basically have an addictive personality and that you will always be an addict, even when sober, because the moment you pick up, whack one off or whatever, you release your addiction all over again. Because it's within your make up. This is why you see alcoholics and drug addicts that are abstinent for 5 10 15 or even 20 years clean who go back to where they were before. I've seen it happen, and heard of it happen many times in the Narcotics Anonymous groups I attend. I see no reason PMO to be any different. Much of it comes Down to complacency. "I'll just have one" and is the same with porn. "I'll just look at a few images of women in lingerie" to "I'll just look at afew nudes" to "I'll just watch one video". Any addiction is progressive. The longer the addiction has been sustained, the quicker we revert back to old habits.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2018
    outwithold likes this.
  14. RPos

    RPos Fapstronaut

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    Sex addiction is very different to porn addiction. Neither is worse. Sex addiction has nothing to do with fantasy. Imagine the guy in a relationship or marriage who looses his partner because of cheating. Or as was my case, going out and meeting women 4/5 nights a week, solo, neglecting social relationships, feeling the compulsion to approach an attractive women during the day, and completely warping my expectations of women, avoiding relationships, and missing out on settling down with the girl if should have been with. And still regret to this day. My porn addiction started as a result of my sex addiction.
     
  15. Once I've rebooted. I won't consider myself an addict any longer. The thing is I'm not addicted to pornography it's just M, that's it.

    I've noticed my triggers and I avoid them at all costs and that has led to my success so far. I haven't added any filters only Youtube restrictions and I've noticed I'm getting stronger each passing day. The urges are still there but I don't feel the urge to watch P whatsoever only get urges to M when I see triggers. I see relapsing as not an option anymore and hopefully soon I don't even think of M
     
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  16. I know I can return to my old MO habits because we are human, but I will do my best to get back up again and repent to god. I've been doing MO for 4 years so I don't consider myself to Be a extreme addict
     
  17. I believe I can get rid of this addiction from my life and heal my neuro pathways and never look back.
     
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  18. RPos

    RPos Fapstronaut

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    That may very well be the case for you, and for many others. For me personally, I know addiction is deep rooted in me. I know that through experience.
     
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  19. outwithold

    outwithold Fapstronaut

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    The consequences of sex addiction and porn addiction are very different but also very similar, both can lead to this point, where we realise our life is a mess and out of our control. Both are playing with the same chemicals and bodily functions. Both can be about fantasy scenarios we've dreamed up, in sex addiction were often also trying to make the fantasy a reality and in porn its pure fantasy seeking but in reality theres many facets to both some similar some different, but for me I feel a porn addiction is part of my sex addiction.
    In addiction there isnt one thats better or worse than another really,
    it can all be just as detrimental, I guess what I was saying with regard to porn perhaps being worse is that its on hand 24/7, all types and fantasy scenarios are there 24/7, its viewed by many as less of a problem which is dangerous and its easier to hide use and hide from ourselves.
    I think timeforchange has got the wrong end of the stick in thinking I'm saying you cant heal and move on in life,actually you 100% can but in my opinion im an addict always. many similar minded people have amazing successful lives admitting that instead of trying to forget it and try and think it never happened.
     
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  20. Okay brother. I believe we can do this!
     
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