Dr. Ruth: too many people have unreasonably high expectations for their relationships and sex lives

Deleted Account · Jan 23, 2018

http://www.businessinsider.com/most-common-relationship-problem-is-unrealistic-expectations-2018-1

Dr. Ruth has interviewed thousands of people about their sex lives — and she says the most common relationship problem hasn't changed since the 1980s

Too many people have "expectations that cannot be met," Westheimer said, adding that those expectations often are influenced by media.

"Hollywood and the movies tell us that the stars have to be twinkling every night," Westheimer said. "That's not reality of life."...

"[Sollee] wants couples who are getting ready to walk down the aisle to know - really know- that it will be hard. That there will be times when one or both of them want out and can barely stand the sight of each other. That they'll be bored, then frustrated, angry, and perhaps resentful."

These unattainable expectations play into people's sex lives as well. Westheimer said people tend to expect multiple orgasms or think that "a man can have an erection like you see in sexually explicit movies" - though she says she hears these complaints slightly less often today than she did 37 years ago.

It's crucial, she said, for people to be "sexually literate."

That said, Westheimer isn't advocating low expectations for relationships or sex lives. Her philosophy? It's important "to be realistic, but to still have hope."
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Dr. Ruth: too many people have unreasonably high expectations for their relationships and sex lives

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