Dreaming of Christ: A revelation that I needed to change my ways

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. Woodcutter74

    Woodcutter74 Fapstronaut

    A few months ago, I have had a few dreams where I witnessed people being crucified and tortured in the process. Sometimes it was women, sometimes men, sometimes even Jesus. I did not know what these dreams meant during the time. Did they mean inner struggle , or that I have not made God a priority in my life like I used to, or both?

    I did not give much thought to it. I still prayed to God, gave thanks, but still there was a void in my life that made me inclined to masturbate a lot with the influence of porn.

    The day before my dream of Christ, I relapsed into PMO twice. What triggered it was my breakup with my ex of two years ago, while having lots of hatred, anger, violence, anxiety and vengeful thoughts about my life situation in general.

    It is in that moment I believe God intervened because I was going on a dark path. Last Wednesday, I dreamed that Christ was being brought to Ponce Pilate. Just before he was going to be scourged, Jesus froze time, then asked me to walk with him.

    As we were walking , I witnessed from a distance a man being scourged, three empty crosses which I did not know if there was going to be a crucifixion or if it was after a crucifixion. All of these sites troubled me , filled me with fear and anxiety.

    But Jesus just kept on looking at me while we were walking. He was a foot shorter than me, dressed in his rabbi clothes, with a tanned face. He had warmth in his eyes and smiled while he was talking to me. I did not understand the language he was talking to me, but I could sense he had a genuine care for my well being. The only two words I understood were " wife" and "children". But what was he trying to tell me ?

    The dream continues where I find myself in a shower with my ex. As I'm looking at her beautiful nude body, I get excited because taking a shower was our ritual before passionate love making.

    Later on, the dream ends when I go visit her house, happy that were back together, I eagerly open the door expecting to see her and her warm smile. Instead it is her two teenage sons , looking at me as if asking who is this stranger coming into our mother's house. I closed the door, walked away from the house, knowing that I was not welcome and that I made a big mistake.

    That dream was a divine revelation that I needed to forgive the past, but also a reminder never to PMO again and ask God's forgiveness for past transgressions. I know that my problem with porn escalated when I was heartbroken when the relationship was over two years ago. But worst than that was I did not make God a priority in my life like I used to.

    In the past, I quit PMO without asking God's help. I said to myself that God gave me a brain to use it, so I did not need his help. I was wrong.

    Since Wednesday, I have not visited a porn site, nor did I M.O. I decided that it was time to change my perception on life and replace old bad habits with new ones. I decided to remember that dream of Christ as an eternal reminder never to watch porn again and break free from for good.

    God bless you brothers and sisters, and keep fighting the good fight.
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