Dreams about having a girlfriend, wake up feel depressed

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Ji83j, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. Ji83j

    Ji83j Fapstronaut

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    I’ve been having dreams of having a girlfriend only to wake up and feel further and further away from that.

    Sometimes the dreams feel so real, which makes it very hard to even get out of bed and face my real life. I’m 26 and I’ve never had a girlfriend, my family continues to ask me when I’m going to get one and it’s becoming very embarrassing and I feel like a loser, they don’t know the depth of my porn issues.

    I also know that even if I magically got a girlfriend I’m sure I have severe pied.

    Have any of you experienced this? I guess when you want someone so much you really do dream of it.
     
    Peace467 and letter like this.
  2. Marik757

    Marik757 Fapstronaut

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    Just woke up an hr ago having an similar themed dream. Felt very real, but now thinking about it I'm like... what did I do right to get to that point?

    Sure it was an nice dream, but now I have to come back to reality.

    1) Such an dream would increase my chances of putting the person I dreamed about on an pedestal.
    2) The person I dreamed about was based on what I perceived her to be. I really dont know her personally and shouldn't expected her to be what I dreamed her to be.
    3) Cant recall much of conversation, but I felt confident in my actions during my dream. What actions I remembered I should mirror it towards others and not just the person dreamed about.

    Hopefully in will forget the dream in an few hrs. Would like to focus on real people vs. Fantasizing ha.
     
  3. Haha I'm actually tired of those dreams. Ignore and move on
     
  4. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    In more ways and times than I call tell ya @Ji83j ... yeeeeep

    It's a painful thing to be reminded so vividly of what we do not have, isn't it?

    Speaking of painful reminders, a beautiful song played by a beautiful woman. You've been warned.
    Trigger-free version:


    To listen to this now hurts so much. I once had a woman like this, beautiful like that pianist with a heart like Tifa from FFVII. Oh man... why do I even come back to this? It's nostalgia...a painful reminiscence that I ponder upon and see ways how I can let it go and smile again. It was nice to know such beauty for a time, it helps remind me there are all kinds of other beauty in my life. I'm not going to let missing this one rob me of everything else I have going so awesomely for me now n_n

    Just because I see a beautiful flower does not mean I have to hold it in my hand to hold its beauty in my heart.

    And look at that, I feel all warm and wonderful again.

    Honestly, I just had that thought as I listened to those songs of a broken & shattered dream. Yeah, man, it can be painful...but if you have the heart to bear it you can let those painful things change your perspective. Because unless I can see it this way, I'll be missing out on listening to some of my very favourite music for the pain of sorrow.

    Ahhhh...this is nice.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2019
  5. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    I view things like that as a taste of what is to come, finish your reboot fully, work on improving yourself and becoming a better person, and one day you will have earned the right to have a girlfriend, hold that dream close, use it as fuel to ignite yourself and you will be on the path to having what you desire. All good things take time my friend, dont rush it, it might seem like an eternity now but time really does fly, you can either ride the smooth waves and go straight for your goals, or you can keep falling off and get even farther behind.
     
    letter and White Sheep like this.
  6. White Sheep

    White Sheep Fapstronaut

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    And also despite they are your family, you said it, they don't know about the problem you are having...they don't know you. So what they say doesn't count much and you don't have to feel embarrassed about their lingering about the gf topic. You have to set a priority that is your freedom over this addiction and then I am sure you will find that girl you are (not) looking for now. Who cares about the age, everyone is different, you just need to wait a bit more :)
     
  7. Newlife33

    Newlife33 Fapstronaut

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    It's a catch 22 that I've went thru as well. It is a sign that you are healing and getting closer to a connective state. However, because you are still lonely and don't have it in real life, and because your coping mechanism for loneliness is porn, it can be very easy to relapse and binge.
     

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