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Dreams

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Daggertail19, Sep 28, 2021.

  1. Sep 28, 2021 #1
    Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone,

    I keep having dreams about my ex girl. I'm the one who broke it off with her after realizing I was trying to hard to satisfy her by changing the things I do or say. I didn't feel like I was in it as much as her either. She would say things like 'I can see myself with you forever' and stuff.

    I guess I still care about her. We had a pretty strong emotional connection. But I felt like I was not in it as much which sucks and makes me feel terrible. She's an amazing girl and beautiful. I started binging porn though after a while of being with her. I don't know.

    And now I can't stop having dreams of her with other guys and stuff. I hate waking up in the morning after a dream like that. The images are stuck in my head.

    Anyone have this happen to them? What can I do to cope with these feelings? I know I probably can't force my brain to stop, so, I want to deal with them in a healthy way.
     
    Daggertail19, Sep 28, 2021
    Daggertail19, Sep 28, 2021
    #1
  2. Sep 29, 2021 #2
    p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    This is normal. I have dreams once in a while with woman and even guys from my past (like 20 years ago). Is people from my past, you are never going to forget about them. They are always going to be there, the only way to leave them behind is to change the focus in your brain. Get yourselve busy with hobbies, friends, family and new woman to date.

    Good for you, you notice that you were behaving like a pleaser, looking for her attention and validation. That is not the way to be, that's femenine behaviour. As a man you should be after your goals and ambitions, not other people approval.

    More reasons to end the relationship, is not fair to you and not for her. The idea is that you find a woman you are crazy about, and let her be with a guy that is also crazy about her.

    Do something with your life. It seams that you didn't move foward since the end of the relationship. Now that you are alone and with no other woman in line, you have flashes of you ex.. I can bet you that if you find another woman, this new woman is going to take the place of your ex in your brain, so you are not going to dream about your ex that much.
     
    p1n1983, Sep 29, 2021
    p1n1983, Sep 29, 2021
    #2
  3. Sep 30, 2021 #3
    Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your post. However I have been going on dates and meeting women at bars, that is not an issue for me at the moment.

    I also have a lot of hobbies, I go to the gym consistently and play guitar and read. I also have a full time job so that keeps me busy as well.

    Should've been more clear about my day to day activities, keeping busy and keeping new women around me isn't a problem though.

    Again, I appreciate your post.
     
    Daggertail19, Sep 30, 2021
    Daggertail19, Sep 30, 2021
    #3
  4. Sep 30, 2021 #4
    p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    I forget to specify that this woman must be special for you. Average woman are not going to make you think about them. You have a stronger bond with your ex than this woman, but when you meet a woman that you really like, you are going to to think about her and not that much about your ex.

    The idea is not to forget about you ex with another woman.. but if you let it happen, a new woman that you are interested in is definitevely going to make you forget a little about the previous ones. Also, when you are passionate about other things, like goals and ambitions, you are so focus on that, that other thougths in your head take a back seat and don't bother you for a while.

    Things with one of my ex's ended badly and wasn't able to get her out of my head. A decade later, I've been with a LOT of woman better than her and I can bearly think about her at all. Time and better experiences make old ones dissapear.
     
    p1n1983, Sep 30, 2021
    p1n1983, Sep 30, 2021
    #4
    Daggertail19 likes this.

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