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Dump my girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Oct 17, 2021.

  1. Well, I didn't know where to post this so here I go...

    I'll resume this as much as I can, so thread isn't that long & boring.

    I have a girlfriend, everything started like 8 years ago as a friendship with benefits, I told her I didn't want to get serious, but after 7 years we got 'serious'

    Thing is, I like her, a lot, when it comes to personality, we share lotta stuff, she's funny & talkative (I'm not much of a talkative person so she breaks silence with it) but I feel like she is not anymore interested on being 'feminine' I think it's the word, she won't use make-up, neither wear hot clothes (she always dressing like she going to play a football match).

    Lately, we've not having sex, and I'm TOO FAITHFUL I won't ever cheat on her, but I got my needs and I don't want to relapse to PM so It's a fucking loop. Whenever I go out with my friends, TONS, but literally a TONS of girls look at me, some even come and talk me, some even tell me straight they want me & all I think is about her (my gf) & I don't wanna cheat on her.
    So yes, I PMO once a week, and I really think it's because of this.

    I think I have lost attraction to my girlfriend, and I think it's because she's taking me for granted.

    I'm kinda overwhelmed by my feelings right now, she is awesome & I love her, of course, otherwise I'd have cheated on her many times. But I've told her "you're being too lazy, you're gorgeous imagine if you would use make-up or dress like this" and she answers "if I'm dressing like that or using make-up it would lose it's enchant and you would start seeing it's as usual". (Like I would get use of it, then tired of her at long term, yea, she got some logic there but... come on...)

    I literally want to bang most of girls I watch whenever I go out, most of these girls gimme signs, like, obvious signs they also like me. And I all think is about her. But then, my girlfriend, doesn't "attract" me, we never have sex, so It's a fucking loop.
    Akbarmagnus likes this.
  2. Mr Rn

    Mr Rn Fapstronaut

    I think before you make the decision, it would be best to talk to her about it and let her know how you feel, 8 years is a long time with someone and no way in hell will that be easy to recover from down the line. Essentially, you don't want to regret your decision later on if you do decide to leave her because of your desires. Going back to what I said at the start, you can make your decision based off the reaction you get from her.

    Gl bro
    Foxhole and Akbarmagnus like this.
  3. Jack55

    Jack55 Fapstronaut

    Men shouldn't ever get into relationships with women who were just a fling at the start. A serious relationship is built on a stronger foundation, your FWB should have stayed your FWB for however long and then you go your separate ways.
    8 years is an absurdly long time to have a girl and NOT marry her, but you do you. Having said that, 8 years and the relationship is soured? Just move on dude.
    You don't sound ready for a serious relationship btw, maybe go back to FWB or ONS, this kind of thing. You don't HAVE to be in a relationship. Especially if you're thinking about cheating on her, I think its best you just admit to yourself you want sex from different women and move on.
  4. How often do you take your girlfriend out on a date? or just buy her flowers for no reason at all? or cook dinner for her? My point is that there are 2 people in relationships and maybe your girlfriend has stopped doing things for you because you stopped doing things for her. 8 years is a long time and it sounds like she has just gotten comfortable. Did you become comfortable too? Relationships always require some work. So maybe plan a date night for the 2 of you and make it a regular thing. I see it all the time where some guys stopped dating their girlfriends or wives because it has just become something comfortable and they think they don't need to do it anymore. Give her a reminder of how important she is to you and that you love her.
    Roady and Foxhole like this.
  5. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

    Make up is not natural. Get used to not having a chance to ejaculate when you feel like it. Stop wasting your seed.
  6. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

    ' but after 7 years we got 'serious''
    what ? ;D
    Jack55 likes this.
  7. Sounds to me like you have a roommate not a girl friend.
  8. I’d be willing to bet she has at least one other guy lined up if she hasn’t pulled the trigger already.
    becomingreat and Grovald like this.
  9. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    Hey. I think it's time to talk. Like a real talk. Not "you become lazy, do something with yourself woman" talk, but "where are we in our relationship and where we want to move?" talk.
    You obviously like her and she seems like a nice person. You obviously get to the point where you both kinda take stuff for granted and just co-living. It doesnt mean you have to break up. Just maybe change the attitude.
    I agree with her point of not "being attractive all the time" but well she should be attractive for you at least sometimes.
    One final thought - this is not a decision to make with your dick but heart. Keep it on mind.

    Good luck, man.
    E31 likes this.
  10. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

    If you really love her it might be worth working on that relationship.
    Of course it takes time, effort and honesty no matter whom you're with.
    The novelty of other girls is always alluring while being in a relationship and is especially exacerbated when you're going through a rough patch. Afterwards it can be a sobering experience tho to realize that apart from sex you can't share much with a lot of other girls. Knowing someone for that amount of time is special.

    I totally understand your feelings as your needs are not getting met right now, but where is that coming from?
    Is that you just not initiating anymore because you've lost attraction or is it also her turning a bit cold in that regard?
    Either way you guys would have to do something, starting with talking openly about your feelings because right now the situation doesn't seem fair to any of you.
    If it's just about the clothes and the make up it might be either not the love of your life or your sexualized brain looking for unnatural stimuli that will never fulfill you.
    In the end only you know where your heart is at and you cannot go "wrong" as long as you're honest with yourself and her.
    All the best!
    ArazzoDiGiada, 88991s and Foxhole like this.
  11. ArazzoDiGiada

    ArazzoDiGiada Fapstronaut

    I think some of the comments here are too negative!
    I would talk with her, like @E31 suggested.
    You should also tell her that you miss having sex with her lately.

    Icouldprobablyhelp likes this.
  12. Sargiel

    Sargiel Fapstronaut

    I'd go with the honesty but be prepared to walk if she can't up her game. At the end of the day you want more than just a platonic friendship - and that's what it's become.
  13. It is Finished

    It is Finished Fapstronaut

    As soon as I read your title of the post “dump my girlfriend?” I already knew the answer was yes.
    becomingreat likes this.
  14. Icouldprobablyhelp

    Icouldprobablyhelp Fapstronaut

    does she turn down your advances? if your answers are you don't try or don't kno how then I'd just say quit being a bich.. learn how to talk to her.. you failed already when you said she had good logic because "you get tired of seeing her in make" or watever the Frick.. you shoulda told er your tired of seeing how she looks now lmao.. or that it'll "spice things up a little bit".. girls like that kinda talk in most cases, at the very least she would have gotten the message..

    another reason could be that she's cheating? but you don't really wanna jump to conclusions ESPECIALLY when your wrong because you'll make an ass outta yourself.. but at the very least she may just be contemplating the action... I but why??? has the sex been okay??

    you may just not turn HER on!?.. you did say you still fap "once a week"(which is basically still cheating technically) in the same token maybe she's fapping..

    the main thing is communication.. which you potentially need to work on based on what I've red(read)..

    good luck oh and tell her how you don't want anyone else but her, and the other good things you said to us about her.. it may spark something in her‍♂️

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