Easiest job in the world is killing me on the inside, how to talk to people older than you?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Ocean Man, Nov 2, 2022.

  1. Ocean Man

    Ocean Man Fapstronaut

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    I recently started a security guard job on a multilevel building. I basically have nothing to do all day, just stand in front of the building from time to time and I basically get to be on my phone and sit inside of the lobby whenever I want to.
    It's literally the easiest job I have worked ( although it pays like crap).
    The problem is that I have to be quite social.
    The people at the lobby are friendly but they are older than me.
    So when I sit down I don't know what to say.
    One of the staff at the lobby is super friendly and he says he has taken a liking to me. But most of the week is just dead silence, and when some of the other staff ( two other guys) come down to sit, I don't know what to say. They are always talking about their job and talking adult stuff like their children and wife. The thing is i am 22, but I have basically developed no social skills.

    I want to talk to them, but I don't know what to say, its driving me crazy because I am starting to hear comments about me not being talkative and awkward. Also because its so awkward I spend most of the time on my phone, which is starting to give me weird looks.

    I try to be outside most of the time, but the lobby staff guy always tells me to come sit down. But then the other staff come down I feel guilty because they work so hard for just me to sit down while doing nothing all day.
    One of the younger guys out of the other staff if like 26, but he has a daughter so I feel I can't relate to him. Last time we sat besides each other for a whole hour and I didn't say a single thing it was so awkward.

    The other day they needed a guard for a post and they called me in. It was outside in small private parking and I literally just sat there for 5 hours watching out for upcoming cars and so. It was just to employees and most of the time they would just pass by and say hi, but go back to their post.
    It was so refreshing, I felt so relaxed. That post pays even worst than mine and its further away from me, but man, I never felt so free!

    Sorry for the backstory rant.

    I need advice:
    Currently, my jobs is killing because I want to socialize, but I have no idea what to say to the other staff members, its just hi's and goodbyes. But I suck at conversation. I also have insecurity problems about my weight, bad grades, can't focus, horrible sleep and this porn addiction that I have been battling for 10 years ( since 2012).
    I have some much going in my personal life, but working plus studying leaves me with no social life. i want to play videogames, but I have no time, I want to work out but I have no time. So people talk about going to restaurants and eating out but I don't drink nor smoke, so that leaves out lots of places where people of my age (20-22) hang out.

    How do I learn to be more social and talk to people that are older than me? And to that extent, how do I talk to anyone at all?
     
  2. Sports is usually a safe topic with most men. Also if they're still there ask about what the career is like. They may feel like u have a superiority thing going on considering u r younger and maybe only using this as a temp thing and u r always on ur phone. If it's not too hard for you I'd suggest greeting everyone u see the first time in a day with a smile, and try and ask them about what's been going on with them and try and remember details from past conversations. Most people love talking about themselves if u show genuine interest.
     
  3. skybrowser

    skybrowser Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry too much you can definitely get better. When I was a teen I was absolutely terrible at socializing even when I generally wanted to strike up a conversation with someone, some people thought I didn't want to talk them or that I was stuck up. At times I would start a chat with a sentence or two then go completely blank. It was probably around your age that I started to get better. I'd think to myself 'What don't I know about them?' and take it from there, so if it was another young person I may ask if they are in college or something, if so what are they studying, what do they like about it, which career path will that lead them to etc. I have also worked in retail which meant I had to talk to people and I found that I was lot better at it then I thought I would after some practice.
    Just like above commenter said people do like to talk about themselves, since you said your colleagues are parents you can ask them about parenthood, "How long have you been a dad?, How many kids do you have? Would you have more? What do you like about it? How do balance it all?". You can see this as an opportunity to even learn from them.
     
  4. Great tip about asking about kids. Can confirm as a dad, they are probably my favorite thing to talk/think about.
     
  5. Khan azam

    Khan azam Fapstronaut

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    I am very good at socializing. Very good. With people as old as in the 80s and as young as my niece who is 3 years old. My advice is just talk whatever you want to. Just talk. I simply start talking about any information that I have read recently like abou the history or whatever
     
  6. quittingthedemiurge

    quittingthedemiurge Fapstronaut

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    You can just look up on YouTube: "How to pass the time as a security guard" and look at the videos people who work as security guards tell you.
     

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