Eating disorder Forums - female Incel parallel

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by johndoe117, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. johndoe117

    johndoe117 Fapstronaut

    First I recognize that nofap is not just a group for men, but it is clear that men are the majority here and men are biologically more prone to self worth issues and sexual addictions.

    I came across several online forums for Eating disorder "support". I was confused about what I was seeing and after digging deeper I understood what it was.

    These are groups of women (mostly) who have eating disorders, recognize that, and wish and encourage others to continue.

    I can't help but draw a parallel to online men's (mostly) groups like inceldom , where men suffer from self worth issues.

    I think the men got more attention in the public eye but these girls forums have been around for a while.

    I can't help but connect the two, there's something there linked with self worth, sexual issues and validity.

    Women here post "Thinspiration" photos of near death anorexics as encouragement for others to not eat, or to exercise more.

    One such thread was a string of "couple thinspo" filled with pictures of cute young couples doing cute things. The girls in the pictures weren't underweight. A cute couple being cute and an anorexic near death picture are inspiration for the same thing "if I don't eat I will have these things".

    It was just a world I had never seen before, but I know the other side of the coin, the men's side very well.

    kropo82 and FX-05 like this.
  2. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    I think women suffer from self-worth issues more than men do. And while men probably make up a much larger percentage of sex addicts (as evidenced in the near-95% male attendance rate at SAA meetings in my city), women almost certainly have a much higher propensity for eating disorders and love addiction.

    I think the whole incel thing is a ridiculous. A guy who's frustrated about his lack of dating/sexual experience should focus more on himself and less on whining about it--especially since playing the victim makes him 100x less attractive to women than he already is. So I don't understand what the incel comparison is here.

    I've seen women share images of fit, healthy people for the purposes of inspiration. I've never seen images of deathly-thin women posted for the same reason.
  3. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

    I read once a long article that explained how the incel community came to be as it is today. Part of the article included interviews with some of the people that started the very first incel forums way back in the 90s. Those guys said that they originally started the forums as a means to help both men and women that have social issues, but at some point the hate got out of control, and women were basically kicked out of those forums.
  4. I had anorexia when I was 15. Part of it has to do with a desire for control, a reaction to being bullied for being chubby prior to that, but I believe most of it in my case was the onset of serotonin deficiency due to porn consumption. It's hard to explain, but looking the way I did should never be an ideal.
    The strange thing about it is that I'm seeing the same thing in my 17-year-old nephew as we speak. He's even skinnier. It really pains me to see him struggle with it. But like anyone with anorexia, he's convinced he doesn't have a problem. I was convinced I didn't have a problem. We're the only ones in the family to have had it, and we're the only ones who have excessively watched pornography. That is just no coincidence. Fortunately it only lasted about half a year for me, but I also kept on using porn, believe me when I say anorexia is peanuts compared to withdrawal from a serious porn addiction. It's an ilness, but at the same time it's not, there's no real suffering, everything about it has to do with a desire for control, attention, envy.
    Anyway, starvation should never be an ideal. Those folks are ill whether they want to admit it or not. One of the things that helped me overcome anorexia was confronting myself with pictures of concentration camp inmates and to realize, to realize, that there is no need to look like that, and that it isn't as beautiful as I thought it was. The biggest problem in this respect is that you don't fully get that you're becoming too thin. You don't realize. Anorexics look in the mirror and really think they are beautiful. But the mirror lies. You don't see yourself the way others, healthy individuals do. All that suggests you are too thin are the numbers on the scale, but the lower the number the better, because you know what, for anyone with anorexia it will make them feel better than others who in their minds are less because they weigh more, it will make them feel in control of themselves. That really is the key word. Control. 'I myself decide what I look like' and exactly that makes them feel powerful, on top of things.
    It's only when they realize how content they should be that they have access to food, unlike holocaust inmates, that they will realize there's no need to want to reach out for the extreme. But even then it has to be them who need to realize, hearing it from someone else won't cut it, although hearing they're crossing a line really is helpful. Especially when it's coming from different people.
  5. Personally, I don't see the connection between "incels" and people with eating disorders, and honestly I think it's a little disrespectful to draw that parallel.

    People with eating disorders have a serious condition that needs immediate medical and psychological attention. "Incels" are whiny brats complaining that all the girls they've declared should want to date them don't want to date them, and how unfair it is that they didn't get what they wanted.

    Not the same thing at all.
  6. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    I heard it was actually by a woman as a support group for virgins.
  7. I don't see the connection either. You could say there is a connection between self-worth and addition, which I think is common sense.

    I never understood the victim mentality behind incels or virgins. I get that some people feel like single life is a failure or that ones virginity is a burden, but logically, I've never understood that position. I myself am a virgin and I don't mind it at all. I used to get a lot of shit from insecure people about it but that was their hangup, not mine. Whenever someone asks me about my choice I just tell them there was always one resounding theme that was given by my promiscuous friends and that was "I wish I had waited", especially once these friends settled down and married. I can't say I've ever had the regret "I wish I had done more one night stands". lol
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  8. johndoe117

    johndoe117 Fapstronaut

    Well I saw the connection as it was an online group, largely segregated by sex, with self worth issues, who medicate by wallowing in pain and encouraging others to do so.

    Also the connection is this negative inner voice "I am not worthy of love until I look like x".
  9. I guess there are some similarities, but I just think it's crazy to compare the two when people with eating disorders often have some serious mental health issues. They're not just whiny people complaining because they didn't get their way.

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