ED because of insecurity and overthinking

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Merry Terry, May 10, 2020.

  1. Merry Terry

    Merry Terry Fapstronaut

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    I’ve been having erection problems ever since I’ve been having sex with girls, which is about 15 years now. Which is longer than my porn problem, which only started a bit later. Now, this doesn’t mean they’re not related at all, but there is another cause for my ED that I wanted to talk about here: insecurity and overthinking.

    Ever since the very first time I was with a girl and we were about to have sex, I have had this voice in my head: what if I can’t do this? And that voice becomes the only thing in my head, my growing erection quickly goes away and that is the end of that. This has happened SO often: I think at least half of the times I was in a position to have sex, I ruined it in this way.

    Now, as I said, watching porn definitely doesn’t help, especially since I have now come to realise that even though porn is not the cause of my insecurity it definitely sustains it. But I wanted to ask if anybody has some good advice what to do with the undermining thoughts: you’re in the moment and a voice comes up saying you’re gonna lose your erection. How do you make it go away and stay focused?
     
  2. ELN

    ELN Fapstronaut

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    I assume that you don't have any ED while masturbating. Have you ever thought about threat your insecurity with a psychologist?

    I see you are 16 days without porn but with masturbation. If I was you, I would try no PMO for a few weeks and then I would try with a girl what happens. I think abstaining of MO can you give autocontrol and that can give you confidence with yourself.
    But I'm a newbie here. It's only an idea.
     
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