All, I want to hear your thoughts regarding this topic and how it relates to my current situation. First and foremost am a Christian and very conservative. I am ashamed with the actions I have recently taken and regret it 100%. . Providing a little background, I began watching soft core porn around the age of 12 and then began watching more hardcore male and female porn. In high school one of the girls thought I was gay and said it to me and I kept telling myself in not gay. Once I had my ex as a girlfriend that stopped. we had crazy sex throughout our late teens and twenties and had our daughter. Still have sex occasionally with her. I am now 31 years old and have a daughter. Within the past 3 yrs I ended the 12yr relationship due to my spouse being unfaithful. During the relationship I always watched porn and it went from heterosexual, lesbian, interracial. When we separated and got divorced I continued to watch porn. I did have a girlfriend for about 4 months but never actually had intercourse with her because I couldn't get fully hard libido was low. The second time, we tried I couldn't get hard and had pain in my groin due to so much blood flow to the penis but my brain was not allowing it to get hard due to fear of getting not erect. This is when HOCD came into full effect. The porn kept increasing in more hardcore types. Interracial, to gay and lastly Trans porn. It appears for me every time I try to do NoFap, I last maybe 2-7 days maybe be longest is 15 days without failing. I feel anytime I relapse I go back to a harder type of porn. The thoughts about sucking have been coming on since I started watching Trans and gay. Does this happen to anyone? Last night i really hit i hard in the head. I met up with a Trans and had gave him / her anal and a sucked. When we were driving I couldn't help but notice the attractive young females in NY. I am embarrassed and ashamed my porn addiction has led me to do such an act. To be clear I didn't receive anal. Has anyone done such a thing and how to overcome such problem? All I could think of last night was this is a ducking dude. It is gross and not me to want to do this. My goal is to quit this problematic behavior and porn altogether and have a wife and maybe one or two more children. I am currently seeing a therapist to help with issues relating to the divorce. Any thoughts on how to overcome this situation is much appreciated. Thank you and god bless.