ED meds during rewiring?!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by ironmaing, Jul 18, 2019.

  1. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

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    I am in the processing of NoFap but have a gf that we'd like to have sex. The fact that we don't its a frustrating topic. I feel like my arousal is growing when we are flirting but haven't had any erections that weren't in my sleep.

    Do you think that I should take ED meds (e.g. blue pills) to help to get erections and then taper off? Maybe the process of having sex will speed up rewiring, on the other hand, maybe taking ED meds will condition me that I can only have sex with them.

    BIO: 34M, PIED since many years. Started PMO at 12.
     
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  2. BiaForce

    BiaForce Fapstronaut

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    I think you should avoid taking any meds and hold out until you can get an erection naturally. Just my opinion though.
     
  3. It worked for me. I don’t need them anymore now.
     
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  4. Male38

    Male38 Fapstronaut

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    me2, just don't overdo it
     
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  5. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

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    Can you detail what happened in your cases? How long did you take the pills? And when did you take them? Did you phase out quickly?
     
  6. Realitycheck

    Realitycheck Fapstronaut

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    Please elaborate as my boyfriend who is in the process of rebooting battles to maintain an erection too- we are considering using pills for ED?
     
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  7. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

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    That comment says it all. YOU are an awesome girlfriend and he is lucky to have you! May I say that ED pills if he's already getting semis should help him get to a hard erection and keep it for longer. Though phase out once his brain has rewired. Having said that, anxiety and PIED may kick in even after taking an ED pill. It has happened to me before with the most attractive girl in the world, my gf. So your support will be invaluable to take that anxiety away and say, 'don't worry about it, it means so much to me that you are determined to fix this addiction and I'm here to support you no matter what. Take all the time you need, we can try later if you want'. Those words will help reduce his anxiety and may help him get a proper erection. If he doesn't, it'll likely be the PIED and he just needs more rewiring. Ideally you can give him tips on how to satisfy you sexually without PIV. That will also make sex not about the erection and it may just happen naturally. It's also important to help him kill all artificial stimulation and anything else that spikes dopamine (drugs, alcohol, junk food, refined sugary shit, strong caffeine, social media, etc.). Its important that his brain stimulation centre normalises.

    My gf has moments of being supportive and other moments of sexual frustration coming through. I feel terrible that I am putting her through this, specially as she's had it rough these past 2 years. I am trying to find out all I can to make an effective recovery to make her fulfilled again.

    P.S. you are such an awesome girlfriend. The fact that you're on this site looking for answers for him is so encouraging. Do you have a sister :) ? I understand it must be rough, but I see from other women that the connection you two are building will last a life time and the sex will be great!

    Keep me updated please on his progress if you'd be so kind
     
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  8. PoloMarco

    PoloMarco Fapstronaut

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    I have tried this to some success. I think the part that makes it successful is if you decide on a communication strategy. Like if you're going to know he's using them, or if you want to agree "yes, we'll have sex in 1-2 hours." OR keep it a secret and just don't mention he's using.

    In my situation, it has worked the few times without her knowing. Then I got self-conscious knowing that she knew (stupid yes I know) and wasn't aroused enough to get up even with the pill. You have to keep talking, and I think that would help me and my partner out a lot. It is actually very rocky right now, and with a few days of space I was able to realize that I'm in a flatline. So I am going to try taking a stab at this communication.


     
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  9. PoloMarco

    PoloMarco Fapstronaut

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    Hey Ironmaing,

    What are some things you've done to help communicate what you're going through when she's frustrated? I am going through it with my girl at the moment. She's definitely in the frustrated space right now, and I'm giving myself (and her) some time to cool off. So how'd you talk about it and what did you ask/tell her to do during sex specifically to keep your anxiety down?

     
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  10. Realitycheck

    Realitycheck Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply means a lot :)

    I must say before meeting him I had no idea how damaging P can actually be to a relationship and the number of people battling with the long term effects of it.

    One hundred percent you are right- at first I would take it personally if he battled with an erection- now I am trying to put that aside, although not always easy, and just make him as comfortable as possible!

    I think currently he’s experiencing his first proper flatline which I seem to know more about (from reading this site) than he does so I can kind of guide him and try explain certain things which I hope puts him a little at ease.

    I’m not going to lie it is very frustrating, especially as I am quite a sexual person, to be patient - but like you say long term- if he puts in the work, will be worth it.
    It’s almost brought us closer together as it’s something we’re working through together.

    I think transparency is the best thing and I would love for him to be totally open about everything with me - so perhaps you should do that with your Girlfriend?
    Also making her feel beautiful, through affection (doesn’t have to be sexually) really helps so much!
     
  11. Realitycheck

    Realitycheck Fapstronaut

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    I didn’t actually think about not communicating whether he’s taken the pill or not.

    I think all along I’ve wanted us to try it out, but didn’t want to press them matter - rather wait for him to suggest it perhaps- which he did. Now it’s about him actually getting them.

    I know the anxiety is the biggest factor here and really try not to put pressure, but rather playfully joke about my frustration so it’s a lighthearted discussion than too serious!

    I do think being open with your partner is the only way to heal!
     

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