ED only when I'm about to penetrate

Z

ziriguidum

New Fapstronaut
Hello guys,
First, let me tell a little about my story... I am a 22 year-old male. Like many of you here, I have been addicted to PMO since I was 12. I have always been a shy guy, mainly when talking to women. Until the age of 17, I didn't even have female friends, only men. So, I went only to lose my virginity when I was 20, with my first girlfriend (now my ex). I've always had incredible sexual desire for her, no difficulties having a boner when kissing, hugging, and sometimes even by talking. I think this is because of my lack of early contact to girls in my life. However, when me and my GF would have sex, I would get hard easily at first, but when I was about to penetrate her, I always got incredibly anxious, and lost my erection. I'm not sure if this is PIED, because I've read posts from many guys here who got cured from PIED but couldn't even get hard with their GFs. However, my situation is different, the facility I have to get hard is the same I have to lose my erection, and I always get extremely anxious. Not sure if I have performance anxiety or PIED (or both). I have also escalated into more extreme forms of porn, including cuckold, which I think has to do with my inability to perform in bed, and I think it has gotten my ED worse. My relationship lasted almost 2 years... I just wished we had a normal sex life. Anyone here with a similar experience to mine? Did NoFap help you to overcome this?
 
I suggest you go to the doctor for a complete physical. ED can be a sign of other health problems
 
i have the exact same problem, get a boner but when im about to penetrate i lose erection; We have performance anxiety especially because, when i f*** a little bit and get confort on my self, knowing that my partner is satisfied and i "did my job", is easier to get going on the f***.

*sorry for my english
 
Oh, it's the same for me here and I just blindly assumed that's what ED is all about: I had a boner all the time the last time I was fooling around with a girl. She was incredibly energetic and during a day with her I felt uncomfortable down there, because of getting off and on again and again, never keeping the things in my pants in a comfortable position.

Later in bed everything felt great until the very moment where I was supposed to penetrate. As if someone pulled the plug in the very moment.

It happened to twice like this and the first time I was even a bit surprised ... I thought "it was erect before, it might get erect any time again" but it didn't.
 
If you are getting good solid erections, there is no problem with the plumbing. The pipes are all in good working order and totally capably of functioning.
The problem is in the control box. For some reason the circuit breaker is throwing every time you start to plug in.
I don't know what you are afraid of or anxious about, but it is strong enough that it is over ruling your desires for intercourse. For some reason you don't want sex even more than you want it.
For many men and a few women, commitment is a dirty, scary word.
 
it is just a fear of not being "good enough"... when you f*** a little bit and relax about yourself, the boner maintains..
 
I agree that I have a lot of performance anxiety, but I think there is a relation to porn also. I mean, not every guy who is anxious has this issue, even when they lose their virginity. The excitement of having sex with a real women should overcome my fears of not performing well. But I guess the years of porn and masturbation made vanilla sex as not exciting enough to overcome performance anxiety. I have been relapsing a few times last month, but yesterday I started a new streak, and I'm very motivated to go for as long as possible, because when I get the opportunity to f*** a woman, I don't wanna even think about losing my erection.
 
Yes it is the porn. You have to get as far removed from it as you can bc now the stuff you are watching is giving you a complete mind f$!#. My PA same thing then escalated to trans and worse. Which in turn escalated to him conversing on craigslist looking to blow a random guy or transgendered person. Since he's been away from porn HUGE difference , some at 30 days , but a lot more post 60 just shy of 90 hardmode. I anticipate it's going to take a little longer than 90 with him to fully reset but we will see. But I'd bet good money it's what you succumbed to porn wise. Be strong!
 
Hi, I was wondering if this is normal for people without ED, as im trying to diagnose how severe mine is (or if its just in my head). My only issue now is penetration. Sometimes when I try to penetrate I encounter some resistance (either shes not super wet yet, or im missing the whole slightly). When this occurs, I lose my erection; not completely but noticeable. I just need a few seconds to get it harder, and then try again. I always get it in... it just may take a few tries. I was just wondering if this is normal.
btw. It's ok when I'm using magic pills.
 
Sheltonz said:
Hi, I was wondering if this is normal for people without ED, as im trying to diagnose how severe mine is (or if its just in my head). My only issue now is penetration. Sometimes when I try to penetrate I encounter some resistance (either shes not super wet yet, or im missing the whole slightly). When this occurs, I lose my erection; not completely but noticeable. I just need a few seconds to get it harder, and then try again. I always get it in... it just may take a few tries. I was just wondering if this is normal.
btw. It's ok when I'm using magic pills.
Click to expand...
I had the same problem and I don't think this is abnormal, especially if you aren't circumcised because your penis is even more sensitive. For me the problem stopped when I changed the type of condoms I was using (too tight) and when I learned to spend more time on the foreplay (makes the girl more wet and your boner stronger) and I never experienced any other ED. And btw, it kinda makes you feel proud when you know that your penis is too large for normal type of condoms :D
 
I have the exact same problem brother I tried having sex twice with my gf and it ended up on the same situation. I would loose erection when i tried to wear condom I am uncircumcised and when I try to put on the condom the head of penis wont go inside the condom how much I tried and it makes my cock go limp and then I tried to penetrate without condom and just when I was about to enter it I would lose significant amount of hardness. My gf as she is virgin thinks my cock is too big for her( its 6inches) but I think I am suffering from Performance anxiety as I am not in a good shape and PIED and over masturbation i plan to do a full 90 days hardmode reboot and combine it with regular exercise and kegels and hope the next time we have sex it will be fantastic.
 
theBornAgain said:
I have the exact same problem brother I tried having sex twice with my gf and it ended up on the same situation. I would loose erection when i tried to wear condom I am uncircumcised and when I try to put on the condom the head of penis wont go inside the condom how much I tried and it makes my cock go limp and then I tried to penetrate without condom and just when I was about to enter it I would lose significant amount of hardness. My gf as she is virgin thinks my cock is too big for her( its 6inches) but I think I am suffering from Performance anxiety as I am not in a good shape and PIED and over masturbation i plan to do a full 90 days hardmode reboot and combine it with regular exercise and kegels and hope the next time we have sex it will be fantastic.
Click to expand...
That's probably what you should do, you can also try spitting inside of the condom before putting it on (to practice alone before). And most important of all, don't challenge yourself to do as good as porn actors, I think that it only makes you more stressed because you want to be a sex machine, make the girl cum and all...
 
ziriguidum said:
Hello guys,
First, let me tell a little about my story... I am a 22 year-old male. Like many of you here, I have been addicted to PMO since I was 12. I have always been a shy guy, mainly when talking to women. Until the age of 17, I didn't even have female friends, only men. So, I went only to lose my virginity when I was 20, with my first girlfriend (now my ex). I've always had incredible sexual desire for her, no difficulties having a boner when kissing, hugging, and sometimes even by talking. I think this is because of my lack of early contact to girls in my life. However, when me and my GF would have sex, I would get hard easily at first, but when I was about to penetrate her, I always got incredibly anxious, and lost my erection. I'm not sure if this is PIED, because I've read posts from many guys here who got cured from PIED but couldn't even get hard with their GFs. However, my situation is different, the facility I have to get hard is the same I have to lose my erection, and I always get extremely anxious. Not sure if I have performance anxiety or PIED (or both). I have also escalated into more extreme forms of porn, including cuckold, which I think has to do with my inability to perform in bed, and I think it has gotten my ED worse. My relationship lasted almost 2 years... I just wished we had a normal sex life. Anyone here with a similar experience to mine? Did NoFap help you to overcome this?
Click to expand...

I have similar problem, although different circumstance. I watched a lot of deepthroat videos, so the real thing doesn't interest me (vaginal sex). In other words, Fetish porn made me desensitized to vanilla sex, and you my friend have the same problem (cuckold sex make you desensitized to vanilla sex).
Our only cure is to eliminate the Source of the problem : Porn.

I hope we'll get cured and regain our normal sexual functions.
 
I also face the same issue, mostly lose my erection before i penetrate and then i develops trick i have been using for a year, that's penetrate before i lose the erection and that has been working for me for most time, but if i don't get in real quick, i lose my erection. i know that's not how it should be, i shouldn't have to rush and i blame porn for this problem and that's why i'm rebooting. i know it's probably anxiety, i can get erection anytime i want, just a looking at a girl or talking to one enough to give me an erection. I want to be able able to hold my erection for as long as i want, so i wouldn't have to rush
 
Tobirueben said:
I also face the same issue, mostly lose my erection before i penetrate and then i develops trick i have been using for a year, that's penetrate before i lose the erection and that has been working for me for most time, but if i don't get in real quick, i lose my erection. i know that's not how it should be, i shouldn't have to rush and i blame porn for this problem and that's why i'm rebooting. i know it's probably anxiety, i can get erection anytime i want, just a looking at a girl or talking to one enough to give me an erection. I want to be able able to hold my erection for as long as i want, so i wouldn't have to rush
Click to expand...
I think that it is a vicious circle. You can't hold your erection so you try to hold your erection for longer time. But this way of doing will add more anxiety and lead exactly to the opposite result. For me, this was not a good strategy because I was constantly checking with my head if everything was going right and my erection was good enough to penetrate. I find that a better way is to try to be at ease with the "problem" and not forcing to have longer erections. Of course it is easier if you have a partner that understands your problem and wants to help you.
 
FutureDoctor said:
For me the problem stopped when I changed the type of condoms I was using (too tight) and when I learned to spend more time on the foreplay (makes the girl more wet and your boner stronger) and I never experienced any other ED. And btw, it kinda makes you feel proud when you know that your penis is too large for normal type of condoms
Click to expand...

Same here, have massive problems with condoms, especially when they are not for large size. Squeezes out blood and the foreskin is not gliding.

Many girls are built small, for them it can be painful, one girl even rejected sex with me after seeing it. We have to fuck careful, which makes it even harder to stay hard.

With large condoms I can last quite long, but still the foreskin cannot glide and I can never orgasm.

But girls seem to enjoy sucking my cock, they don´t want to stop, that´s the good side of it.
 
PMOkills said:
dude... i feel ya. ive dealt with this a lot. shy guy who grew up tall and generally can chat up a women fairly easily now. im still trying to figure out my ED, but im leaning towards intimacy issues and pressure performing.

where im at: Most women that are into you like you for things other than your sexual abilities. you dont have to be the porn star in the vids you watched (these guys use drugs, get camera edits, and get to bang random porn stars every new shoot, PS they are miserable and not fulfilled, its all a lie, dont buy it man) anyway... so my last GF and i ran into this issue. very attractive woman and very open-minded sexually, kinda intimidating to me even tho ive had experience. what i ended up doing is sharing my porn addiction with her. i told her that it might be contributing to my Ed or it could be anxiety. i was so ashamed at first but she didnt care. she stayed with me for 3 years, i ended up breaking up with her because we were on 2 different life paths. she was very understanding. i noticed something.....she would be very dry sometimes. women can get in their heads too and it can make them conscious. real people are not porn, sometimes you feel your stomach turning while having sex, think about work, "does this person really love me?" many things can distract and do distract the average sex haver.

i felt like so little of a man when i culdnt get it up. but after sharing with her, it actually grew the intimacy in the relationship. you have to get over that fear, and oyu have to be willing to go in and have a limp dick and tell her its just not gonna happen today and if she understands you have a reasonable GF. open up to her about it next time youre in bed. then tell her you still love her (if you do) and that you want to work on it with her (if you really mean it) this means more to women sometimes than having great killer sex. its the emotional intimacy and it will give you less pressure and allow you to have more fun. now she knows about your issue and she is going into sex everytime expecting "maybe it wont be tonight, but were working on it" you'll have less pressure cuz she knows, and sooner or later you'll blow her out and she'll just be laying on the bed and you can stand above her and say "youre fucking welcome" then give her a kiss and tell her you love her and cuddle a little. tell her thanks for working with you.

this is the stuff dreams are made of man.

oh, noticing women are human too helps. ive had GF's before that get performance anxiety. you can tell if theyre willing and trying to have sex but they get really dry, its the equivolent of ED. but you cant tell as easily. they get nervous too. there are a lot of expectations on sex made by porn and hollywood (fuckers, all of them) that teach us incorrect things and cause us to have false expectations.

Dude. i deal with this still. and im close to 90 days no porn and im having some flatline issues right now too. lots of performace anxiety. you are not alone, you are not weird. your a normal healthy dude.

now go fuck your girlfriend, and if it doesnt work, tell her why. if shes a good girl she'll understand. and if it does work, enjoy it.
Click to expand...
This helps bro !
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top