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ED When Dating

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Nigel19841984, Aug 27, 2017.

  1. Nigel19841984

    Nigel19841984 Fapstronaut

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    I had a one night stand not something I'd like to boast about. It gets worse, I lost my erection about 15 mins in and had to fake the ending. It was very awkward and i'm not sure i'm a great actor :(

    Anyway, i'm a few days into my latest PMO attempt but porn has been my primary sexual experience rather than actual intercourse for 20 years. I am a little worried i've rewired my brain to falsely find porn as my means of reproduction and not actual sex.

    Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Please tell me there's light at the end of the tunnel and my ED will go. Perhaps i'm just flat lining?
     
  2. Gamekeeper89

    Gamekeeper89 Fapstronaut

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    Hey Nigel, I experienced a fair amount of ED while I was dating during my P and M addiction and it was very demoralising, I know how you feel. Since giving up P and M completely my ED has lessened. I have had sex several times without it being a problem and I feel like my erections are much stronger now that I no longer fap. Unfortunately there has been one blip in the process - but I think that is mainly a confidence issue. Overall i would say that one's brain (or body) can certainly be 'rewired' back to its original setting to find real sex its primary source of sexual fulfilment. Good luck with your endeavour.
     
    drkarim and Nigel19841984 like this.
  3. You can bounce back. I experienced the same thing and started taking pills n stuff to last longer. Stopped the PM, in 30 days no problems.
     
    Nigel19841984 likes this.
  4. thats perfectly normal for one night stands. just dont do it then because theyre prolly not for you
     
  5. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    And, if I might add, 15 min isn't bad at all ;).

    I'm there too. It's amazingly scary how, for me anyway, it became a question of confidence in myself. PIED at some point anxiety ED because even though I had PMOed like 5 days before seing my GF I wanted her so much but was so scared to fail. We tend to forget that we do what our minds tell us to do. You can't even imagine how often I tried to get out of a situation where I would be alone with my GF, completely scared of the moment we had to go to bed. Terrorized. Because I PMOed 5 days before. Other times I did have sex like crazy 2 days after PMOed. PMO don't just physically mess with you, for me it was also in my head, with my confidence.

    If I was there, I always ended up loosing my erection, not cool at all. sometimes it didn't came at all, sometimes it lasted a few minutes. The periods I was good is really when I didn't watch porn for a few days - like 2 weeks. But I always ended up relapsing.

    As for now, > 10 days, I'm taking my time. Kissing my girl definitely triggers a tinglyness feeling in my penis. Last night we couldn't do anything (yeah, that monthly time), and we just kissed. Haven't felt my heart pounding in my chest like that since my first encounter with a girl. Felt amazing.

    Don't give up. I was a 3 years porn consumer - I started when I was older so every readings I go tells that is should be easier for me. No porn for even a few weeks brought me hard erection and DE elimination. So it's a matter of time. Just really eliminate any sources of artificial visual stimulation.
     
    Tonytone and Nigel19841984 like this.
  6. arrow26

    arrow26 Fapstronaut

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    I think that you should stop overthinking about that situation, it could happen to anybody, so just stop thinking/panic and everything be great bro, trust me! :)
     
    Tonytone likes this.
  7. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    My ex had DE from the first time we had sex. From a females POV if PE DE or ED happens the first few times we have sex with a man we usually brush it off as nerves but of course that’s if we are looking to date you. If all a woman wants is sex she probably won’t call you again but that’s why you don’t have one night stands but I think you see that now.
    Many addicts make the mistake of thinking that sex or a relationship will fix their issues but in reality it makes them worse. Most addicts in reboot are extremely emotionally sensitive as they have lost their coping mechanism add that to the stress of being with a new partner and the anxiety of performing in bed and you do not have a good combo.

    My advice is do a minimum of a 90 day hard reboot. I think a year would be better but in any event get yourself healthy and then look for a woman who wants a serious relationship. Disclose your issues to her sometime before you have sex. That way not only are you being honest but you take some pressure off yourself in the event you have performance issues. She can also help you overcome this but not if you don’t clue her in.

    My ex also had used porn as his sole form or sex for 10 or 15 years. He thought once he got into a relationship he would have access to regular sex and would stop the pmo but could not perform in bed and could not stop the pmo. The number one factor in our relationship downfall was him not being honest with me about his addiction and pmo use. I felt bambozzled into a relationship that was a lie and he continued to lie.
     
    Tonytone likes this.

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