Edging is pure evil

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by activecarbon, Nov 18, 2016.

  1. activecarbon

    activecarbon Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    I have been free from PMO for 3 weeks (I could not belive myself) and I almost felt fine for good. That was the tricky part. But from the start. Basically I am writing this to get some mental support, this thing is really hard after all.
    I have been doing serious PMO from my 12-13 and pushed that till only very weird stuff turns me on (fitness girls, muscular domination, giantess, crushing and this all bullshit which I hate and love simultaneously). I thought that it is fine till my fiancee brokes up with me because of my lack of activity, mojo, time for her... I was active only in work, games and PMO... no space for her, but still I loved/love her (damn...). After that I was on business trip and spent in hotel over a week (PMO as shit). Than I found and NoFap and it really worked! For 3 weeks I have been excercising, working, starting with hobbies, I even wrote patent by myself in just 3 days. Today I have been scrolling FB wall and found some fit girl... edging for 5 hours mixed with reading about edging and prevention. I am curently sick so I could not go out to clear my head. So I relapsed after all. I am in serious depression and with zero will to do anything except writing here. Please help.
     
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  2. Plutonium

    Plutonium Guest

    Edging is a relapse. It's worse than finishing it off.
     
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  3. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    What strategies are you using to combat PMO?
     
  4. Ursamajor

    Ursamajor Fapstronaut

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    what does edging really mean? sorry if i ask but english is not my first language so i'm here also to learn new things. i understand it like you get horny and you masturbate but you don't cum. is it corect? if so... why is worse than O?
     
  5. douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

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    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
    Winston S. Churchill
     
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  6. activecarbon

    activecarbon Fapstronaut

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    When the urge is coming I do 20-30pushups or go out or dig in to the work . It worked till I got cold and stayed at home for few days... scrolling FB was the starter. I live alone so it is critical point.
     
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  7. activecarbon

    activecarbon Fapstronaut

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    Eng is not my first language too, i understand u...for me edging is when u are hard, from time to time u touch but odn O + u watch P/ arousal shit. I am not addicted to conventional P and lots of that shit which works on me is on deviantart where u just scroll, clicks and cannot stop doing that. That is pure evil.
     
  8. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    Edging is getting yourself sexually excited then stopping. It can be masturbating almost to the point of orgasm and then stopping or it can be using porn but not masturbating (or masturbating but not orgasming).

    Ultimately, it bathes your brain in dopamine but you then don't get any release.
     
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  9. crim11

    crim11 Fapstronaut

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    I tried edging for a little while, but blue balls eventually stopped that. The only thing I can really compare it to is the pain that you feel when someone punches you in the groin, except it lasted for hours. The pain eventually went away on its own. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. Stay away from edging.
     
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  10. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Here is a growing collection of startup strategies compiled from myself and I've added some from others on NoFap. Keep these in mind. This is by no means a be-all-end-all list of suggestions but it is a list for you to use and add to for yourself and modify to meet your needs.
    1. Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.
    2. Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.
    3. Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.
    4. Go to http://yourbrainonporn.com/ to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.
    5. Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something.
    6. Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!!
    7. Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.
    8. Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.
    9. Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many time M'ing is more likely in dark places.
    10. At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.
    11. If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.
    12. Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.
    13. Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.
    This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.
     
  11. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I think you have a dozen good points there @D . J . But I would suggest that the opposite of this one ^ may be better...

    I'm a naked sleeper and when I have used "something more constrictive", my attention is drawn to my twig & berries! :rolleyes:

    I find that when my penis and balls can go where they want, they are not under any pressure or friction. :) Also, from the conversations I've had with others, I have been told that if they go for their cock unconsciously, it makes no difference. The sensation of a morning erection is only going to be exacerbated when it is bulging and straining against your underwear! :oops:
     
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  12. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the insight. I too am a naked sleeper but for some that may be too much of an invitation or temptation. I am presenting an option that someone offered to another Fapstronaut.

    It will always be a trial and error process for each to find what works.
     
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  13. Moogie

    Moogie Fapstronaut

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    It also desensitising to the penis
     
  14. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Yes, absolutely. :) Btw, congratulations on being almost 100 days absolutely clean. :cool:
     
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  15. monkmode24/7

    monkmode24/7 Fapstronaut

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    Edging and the haze, will come. Learn to push through them and to say no. If you do that even on your worst days you wont be fucked. I just gave you a magic nugget. Apply it.

    e.g (lets say you edge for 5 hours. Don't orgasm. And stop looking at any porn or anything, and continue your NoFap streak. ) We always rationalise we might as well fap, but the amygdala hijacks rational thinking meaning you have no rationale in the haze. But your conscious is there saying its probably not a good idea. Learn to act on that and completely stop edging and continue your streak and you'll learn in that moment how to deal with the worst case scenarios. And when you are prepared for worst case scenarios, worst case scenarios cease to exist.
     
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  16. Porn Free Wanderer

    Porn Free Wanderer Fapstronaut

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    I don't necessarily believe edging "will come" unless we let it in. This is something we have total control over. As far as I'm concerned, if you've edged for 5 hours or even 10 minutes, that's a relapse, regardless of whether you them MO or not. After all, if you've edged for 5 hours, you've just spent 5 hours filling your mind with toxic porn images that will come back and mess with you later, not to mention the fact that people who binge on edging probably aren't eating anything or drinking any water during that time -- something else that is detrimental to your physical health.

    For those reasons, I'd argue that edging for 5 hours is far worse than simply finishing it off within the first 10-15 minutes, and then using that time to go and do something productive.
     
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  17. I've been stupid enough to think that P and M are harmless without O. It's simply not true.
     
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  18. monkmode24/7

    monkmode24/7 Fapstronaut

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    If that's the case I'm sure your probably never fapped since you've heard about NoFap. The truth is man, all your hope for perfection aside, eventually your going to find yourself infront of a laptop whether your 1 day, 1 month or 1 year and your going to be really tempted to look at porn. You might even open it up and catch yourself priming for the O for half an hour, or a rationalising why you should just wank. That's the haze. When your in that narrow minded state where your just thinking about the O. If you learn to step out of that you will build an extra resilience to your NoFap. It's good shit. As for the edging relapse thing we all have our own experiences, I have tested first hand whethere what you said is true and Infound it to be false, maybe you have another experience
     
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  19. Porn Free Wanderer

    Porn Free Wanderer Fapstronaut

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    Being tempted is one thing, looking at it is another. If we truly want to beat this addiction and grow as people, we need to learn to resist this temptation by closing the laptop and doing something else. That's not hoping for perfection, it's just a fact. Biologically, your brain has already had it's hit of dopamine as soon as you start looking at porn -- even if you haven't touched yourself yet. And if you've sat in front of the computer for half an hour, looking at it, then you've spent half an hour filling your brain with toxic shit, not to mention the fact that you could have spent those 30 minutes doing something else.

    As far as I'm concerned, that counts as a relapse. If you want to test your resilience, the way to pass that particular test is to simply close the computer as soon as the temptation arises.

    BTW, I've edged for as long as seven hours in the past, and let me tell you, I felt far worse after doing that than when I've simply fapped for 10 minutes and just got it out of the way. And that's before I even think about all the time wasted by edging. The OP is right, edging is pure evil.
     
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  20. DiogoFSantos

    DiogoFSantos Fapstronaut

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    The title says everything: edging is pure evil. I used edging at work, for like hours...without finishing. In my mind, I thought "I'm not doing anything bad, I'm only seeing some vids. Bad is finish with M". After that, the pain in my balls came so bad...MAN!

    So, now, at work I'm very productive (I only skip from my duties to check NoFap).
    Keep away from P and edging. Find new thing to do/read/watch.

    Ps: Im a naked sleeper too and its hard to ignore "morning wood" but, for me, its helps me to control myself...something like "See this? No to play alone, only to use for good things" :p (sorry for bad english, i'm portuguese)
     
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