Edging Too Much

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Choosing Better, Feb 3, 2021.

  1. Sup guys,

    I've been so trapped in this cycle of edging. I want to know your thoughts on it and any potential practical ways I could break this.

    What my issue is is that I've gotten really good at tricking myself and making my rational mind shut up so that I could get a little peak at some P***. I don't fully PMO but I excessively P and M, then stop myself before I orgasm. Last night was awful, going from about 1AM to 6AM – 5 HOURS – of just edging. Last week, before my last relapse, I was edging for hours everyday for 8 days straight! I don't know guys. Sometimes when I do this, I tell myself "No I can still redeem myself and stop now", then I'll go for a few hours (sometimes minutes) clean and then bam, I've got another video loaded up.

    I know this is really dangerous and is borderline sexual suicide. I've read some people's posts from the past saying that you need to fully relapse because its too late or that you need to MO without P and reset yourself. There's a split in the community on what people think of edging and it seems kinda controversial. It's confusing to me.

    I feel like every time I try to keep going after an edging session, I just end up looking up some more, worse, more stimulating, inappropriate videos for much longer sessions. I usually end up doing this after a few days clean but with really hard urges. It feels like I don't have any control, like I've been possessed. When I'm in these edging loops, I have no energy to do ANYTHING but watch more videos. I sleep around all day, trying to get a little work done here and there but when I feel an urge, it charges me up like crazy and I fall back into bad habits and edge. I can't get my mind off the videos I'm craving. The urges get so bad, making my heart beat so intensely, my whole body gets hot and I sometimes try to channel this energy into something good but it gets too much to handle.

    I mostly feel these urges at night, right as my mind is slipping into sleep. But sometimes they hit during the day, usually when I'm tired or when I'm in the middle of some work.

    When I feel the urges I start impulsively edging, despite knowing I have work to do, despite my better judgement, despite the efforts I've made to stay clean. Worst of all is that I can literally HEAR myself, in my mind, saying "Stop, you're making a mistake, don't do it" and still just forcefully shut myself up and ignore it. I feel insane.

    What do I do?

    Should I at least try to push forward, make an effort not to edge anymore and just keep my streak going. Or do I reset at this point and just give in and let myself PMO? or MO?

    How do I prevent these edging cycles before they even happen? What do you guys do when dealing with cravings and urges?

    Help me out please, what do you guys think?
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2021
  2. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

  3. FX-05 likes this.
  4. Newmanatee

    Newmanatee Fapstronaut

    I have to agree with IGY here, you need to be incredibly disciplined with yourself. A single peak, or touching yourself sexually etc. should be counted as a relapse. It trains your brain to associate those actions to failure and can be a really strong help in getting clear of this addiction. On my longest streak I was fanatical in my zero-tolerance policy to any peeking or any of the actions that usually lead up to PMO. I really think it's the only way.
  5. Alright then, from here on out no more edging!!! I just read through the article IGY sent and watched some videos. It seems that when you edge, but recover from it without fully orgasming and successfully pass through the urges that come after, you still gain psychological benefits after a while and continue rebooting, as long as one doesn't continue edging. However, with that, the urges still continue to appear and are much more powerful. These urges are critical to overcome if you want to get back on the rebooting path.

    I'm just explaining to you to get it sorted out in my own head :p

    So I guess the best thing to do is to move forward to just stay porn free without any giving in to orgasming.
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2021
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  6. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    Edging is probably worse than ejaculating, IMO. It’s a dopamine surge that should be spread out across your life. Withholding yourself completely is how you heal.
    ivanhoe and Choosing Better like this.
  7. TheForsakeen

    TheForsakeen Fapstronaut

    there is no such thing a too much edging, there is a guy that is edging and not edging choose who you want to be.
    Choosing Better likes this.
  8. From now on, I'm considering edging/just watching p*rn a relapse. That's the way it should be.
  9. Smith Sharp

    Smith Sharp Fapstronaut

    Hope you're on the right track now :)
    For years I struggled with PMO and edging for record breaking hours! It wasn't until I too educated myself about how the caveman brain thinks that sex, sugars, carbs etc are rare (they were tens of thousands of years ago when the caveman brain ruled) that I could see what the mind was doing to me.
    How even now the caveman brain is still more powerful than the modern part of the brain and it does what it can to get as much sex, sugars as possible. Dopamine release is indeed all part of that and keeps one edging, gathering all the "rare" stuff like (fake) sex.
    FezMan76 and Choosing Better like this.
  10. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    I agree. Someone here once posted that edging was giving your brain a chemical bath in dopamine, etc.
    I know that people who say they 'edge' find it can happen over hours, days, weeks - constantly in this 'sex on the brain' state.
    I think that's actually more damaging than one pmo that lasts 20 minutes (provided of course that doesn't happen every day!)
    Not that either are 'good' - but in my personal experience after PMO i felt 'drained' and felt the negative effects (brain fog, low energy mild depressed state) where with edging, you're just, well always on edge..
  11. @Smith Sharp Wow I didn't know thats how the brain responded to those perceived "rare" things. Yea I'm definetly cutting off consumtion of these harmful dopamine triggers. Thanks!

    @ivanhoe Yes I was reading up on edging, it's basically keeping your brain in this state of constant anticipation for sex. That's how the dopamine rush of urges hit you the hardest. I do feel really drained after edging because I don't feel like doing anything but watching the next video and just laze around. Thanks for the info!
    ivanhoe and Smith Sharp like this.
  12. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    You won’t be worried about relapsing if you can fight the urge to edge.

    I used to think edging was okay. But now I’m viewing it as a relapse. If you feel the urge to edge to feel happier, that’s a telltale sign you have problems in your life and you’re unhappy. It’s hard to fix the root problems (no friends, etc), but if you do, that’s how you’ll truly be happy. Rather than use the quick fix of edging.
  13. Thanks for the encouragement. I will try harder to stop the edging before they start!
    FezMan76, Fullyawake and Smith Sharp like this.
  14. OttarrTheVendelCrow

    OttarrTheVendelCrow Fapstronaut

    I agree. 0 tolerance is the best approach. It is easier to stick to your principles 100% of the time
  15. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    Yes! this is is a great way to put it - where a fap is 'one and done' edging can last for weeks.... again both are bad, but edging IMOP is worse.

    I am going to start counting that way too.
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  16. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    Very well put. If you have the desire to edge you're trying to 'fix' something through self-stimulation.
    Fullyawake and Choosing Better like this.
  17. Salutis

    Salutis New Fapstronaut

    i would like to ask also , if i touchedy my penis head once while i was worried if i have any precum does this count as edging?
  18. skybrowser

    skybrowser Fapstronaut

  19. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    The rule around here... if you have to ask .... :)
    Depends how you touch , just to check if it really is clinical and no sexual arousal then probably ok.
  20. Thank you so much for sharing this video. Really clears things up :D

    Haven't viewed any videos or jerked off for 3-4 days now, I've felt the withdrawal symptoms she mentioned like depression, brain fog, suicidal thoughts. But I'm happy she said that this means your brain is getting fixed! Trying to stay off the videos and redirect my brain towards healthier dopamine releases.
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2021
    skybrowser and FezMan76 like this.

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