I think edging, for me which I have to stress as we all have differnt behaviours, is like similar to something that acoholics state. Alcoholics don't have to stop drinking, they have to stop taking the first drink. I equate things like masturbation, peeking and edging as a similar thing. It's taking that first drink, and when alcoholics take that first drink. they're lost to themselves.
Its a difficult thing, as it is healthy to have attraction, to have sexual urges, and to be sexual; but I guess it's about being present and loving in the way we go about it that is important. I think that masturbation can be a healthy way of releasing sexual tension, but at the same time in our situation it's deciding whether that will lead onto something more because we didn't feel that "buzz" that watching porn gives us.
You have to work these out for yourself, but I suggest that if it feels unhealthy for you, it probably is.
Peace be with you!
I really love your analogy with alcohol, taking a peek or engaging in pornographic thoughts is like taking a sip, and that sip can lead to full blown relapse. That’s why I consider taking a peek or engaging in those thoughts to be a relapse, and I’ve never heard a recovering alcoholic say that taking sips of an alcohol is allowed.
OP when it comes to edging, it’s probably the worst thing you can do in regards to this addiction, it’s one thing to PMO for 5-10 minutes, verse edging to porn for extended periods of time. One is giving your brain a quick hit, verse extending that abnormal dopamine release, you are basically just causing more damage by engaging in a damaging behavior/habit by extending the time length of engagement.
In terms of regular masturbation, there are many different opinions, some people think it’s okay, some people completely stop along with porn. Myself, I have chosen to eliminate masturbation from my life, I believe masturbation solely on natural and realistic imagination is 1000x better then masturbation with porn, as porn is the substance that is releasing the abnormal amounts of dopamine. If you had to lapse, I would definitely stick with masturbation without porn, if you HAD to.
I choose not to engage in either for a few reasons, one the behavior of watching porn and masturbation are so correlated in my brain that whenever I try to masturbate without porn, I ended up watching porn. Another is if I do successfully MO without porn, I’ll end up with strong cravings to porn, so basically I’ll still feel the chaser effect, because once again those behaviors are so linked in my brain. Another reason is I just don’t want to release unless it’s by having sex with my future wife, I feel like that will lead to more true intimate experiences with my SO, and also I want to completely rewire my sexuality to being with another real woman and never again to my hand or to a screen.
