Eeeeeefuckingmotions

Hey there, something really intense happened today. Pretty much just now before I'm writing this, the last part happened. I'll sort of summarize my day here since it's all probably relevant. I guess, multiple things that were really intense happened today.

First, some good news... I woke up with an erection like no other. I didn't feel the judgmental, awkward consciousness of it. It was just there, hard as fuck, and didn't go away when I stood up and walked to the bathroom, or even after that when I walked to the kitchen to make coffee. It was intense and felt natural, not like I was suddenly lucky or something.

Next I had a pretty chill first half of the day, got some things done, felt pretty good, very relaxed. I worked out before lunch, and then after lunch I just felt this surge of intense energy that I've carried with me up until now when I'm writing this. The intensity has been there the whole time, it just keeps changing forms and finally motivated me to write this.

Anyway, after my workout I swam in the ocean and took a shower and hit the books. Ever since then I've had this awesome sort of whole body consciousness that didn't seem to separate my cock and balls from the rest of my body in the fapper fashion it sometimes does... and another interesting benefit of that holistic consciousness is that I can also just disengage from my whole body, and throw all my energy at something else (hmm maybe the right girl one of these days.)

Anyway, I have a lot going on right now, definitely not going out this fine Saturday night. I quit the work part a little bit ago, taking a break and started randomly surfing the internet. Somehow I end up on the following music video:



I'm pretty open about music/art/that kind of stuff... but this isn't generally my go to style. But anyway, it was nice... and I watched the video with it. Next thing I find myself totally in tears, empathizing with everything in the video and wanting to help that girl. Next thing I know, the emotions and memories just start raging through me, tons of different stuff I won't even go into in detail here... exes, my daddy issues, random memories of my childhood, everything. You'd think I had dropped LSD and was having a bad trip or something... or if not "bad", one of those like, soul searching trips that's really difficult.

But yeah, whoa. It's kind of still happening, I can't stop it, I'm not even really interested in trying to stop it. Holy shit. Thank you NoFap, Slash + Adam Levine + Some Actress, Life?

 

I didn't really understand this^, could you explain what you mean more fully please.

 

Sure, I'll explain it more. I think ideally, our bodies are there to do what we need them to do, but if everything is fine then we are conscious of the outside world. If something goes wrong with the body... even something simple, say you burn your hand on a hot coffee mug or something like that... you're now separately conscious of that hand. Your mind fixates on it and directs your body to do something to alleviate the pain.

Now picture the fapstronaut scenario... you've been beating the meat for years until now you have PIED, or when you stop you're so damn horny it's all you can think about because you're not allowing yourself to dispense of the energy via masturbation anymore. You are now separately conscious of your dick the same way you were of the burnt hand I described above. Maybe it makes your pelvic muscles tense up, maybe it makes your mind race with anxiety when you see a hot girl, anything disruptive like that. The point is, now your dick is separate from your body in that it is exerting its own specific influence more often than normal.

So what I was saying is that yesterday, for the first time, I noticeably felt differently. I felt like my mind and body were on the same team as my penis and everything operated as one with me that morning. Super interesting feeling and it kind of got emotionally overwhelming... like imagine the guy who has been a paraplegic for a few years and who then wakes up one morning and his legs are fully functioning and he gets up and walks. It felt something like I imagine that would feel.

Anyway, the part that I wonder about that maybe you all could comment on... who else has experienced intense emotions associated with these sorts of moments of victories in the reboot? Has it been just the usual feeling of joy or has it been something else, maybe even too much of whatever it is? For me, I ended yesterday kind of emotionally tapped out. Like it was just overwhelming, all the feelings I had. I wonder if maybe I had been locking them up somehow because I knew they were too intense.