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Effect of starting porn at a young age

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by thikk, Mar 21, 2022.

  1. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    I am realizing that even though we have the same pmo issues, our cases can be very different and the same solutions may not work for everyone. I had not thought of this, but some people started pmo at a very young age and perhaps never even had normal sex lives with women. I have been wondering why it may be very difficult for some people to stop than others, but this could definitely be one of the situations.



    In my case, introduced to porn at 12. Didn't have much access if thought I looked. Got full access and privacy when I went to uni at about 20 and had pied by 21/22. Was hooked for nearly 8 years using ed pills etc. Then did clean 90 day reboot and fixed pied etc.

    So this is just a reminder for everyone to stay strong! Whatever you do, just stop pmo, don't peek, don't fantasize, don't touch etc. Fight as hard as you can.
     
    hemlock144 and desmond318 like this.
  2. I started prone masturabtion in early childhood. Not because of porn, bit i saw an intercourse + a family member abused me sexually in my childhood. So this all have an impact on me and make me a sex addict. On 2009 onwards porn addiction also started.
     
    thikk likes this.
  3. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    I get you. I also saw one porn pic at around 12, and even though I did not have access to p I started m with bikini pictures, movie sex scenes etc. So definitely experiences in childhood/teenage hood can quickly cause pmo use. But take heart, work to kick the habit. Thanks for sharing.
     
    Dr. Life rebuilder likes this.
  4. Sobriety Seeker

    Sobriety Seeker Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this post it is very encouraging. May I ask if it took you the full 90 days to get rid of pied? I am curious for myself how long it would take. I know everyone is different but I just want to get some perspective.
     
    thikk likes this.
  5. Being started PMO at young age means our brains default feature is the pmo. We can't uninstall it simply need so much effort to do that. When i started pmo in early age, it give me
    1.anxiety
    2. ADHD
    3. borderline disorder
    4. Symmetrical OCD ( now HOCD)
    5. Bipolar
    So i am battling with this all.

    I think people who started at young age are the extreme case of addictions. They need double the effort than normal addicts.
     
    thikk likes this.
  6. keyfekeder

    keyfekeder Fapstronaut

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    I have also got the poison at the age of 8 and its indeed too difficult to ditch the PM and get over it but to be honest i didn't experience any of the symptoms you are suffering except anxiety.

    I mean don't get me wrong but i think the fact that you had to endure sexual abuse at such a young age could be the underlying reason of your problems
     
    thikk and Dr. Life rebuilder like this.
  7. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    Can you explain how watching porn at a young age gave you borderline personality disorder please?
     
  8. I don't know bro. But here is the thing. At young age, that's the time the brain is evolving and growing and at that time i was faping and destroying my brain. So at this age too my brain is underdeveloped and people always take me for granted. At young age started addiction means your prefrontal cortex is actually like shit or become worse. So logically and self control, i am weak.

    I don't know how i get borderline. Bit i alwats have a fear when my two other friends will talk each other. That they will betray me like that...so hence i concluded i too have this problem. Also mood swings and relationship wise i cheated( ghosted )so many times my lovers. Not because i want to... but one morning i don't feel anything ( love) to that girl but on previous night she is my Angel. So i will leave her and will ghost her. This happen so many times. So i am very much unstable in a relationship.
     
  9. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    You may have BPD, although I suggest you get assessed and diagnosed officially by a psychiatrist. Many with BPD were sexually abused in their childhood, although it is not always the case. It is partly a genetic condition but there has to be some deficit in nurture. Usually, this will be via sexual, physical or psychological abuse. For me, it was the latter. Take care.
     
    thikk and Dr. Life rebuilder like this.
  10. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    In my experience I did the full 90 days without any sex, so I cannot comment on if the healing can occur faster from that streak. Mind you my streak was very clean i.e. I did not peek, stopped sexual thoughts (and by day 40 I could easily ignore them) and no touching at all. I was failing uni and was final year, so I did nofap which improved my focus and I had more time. I was too panicked about uni to be thinking of other things.

    On day 91 I visited an escort (I didn't care if I failed with an escort) and I was completely fine. I was still very anxious and kept thinking I would fail but it just stayed, even through the panic.

    However, I have seen posts here about pied being healed faster. I think this depends on circumstances e.g. duration of pmo use, how bad the addiction had escalated etc. I was almost 8 years with pied so I didn't event expect to be healed by day 90 based on the posts I had seen here(That's why I decided to do a very clean no pmo, and it worked by day 90). In my current streak, I relapsed but it has not been bad as before, I have had sex from day 38 two weekends in a row now with the girl I am seeing. So I would say pied healing duration depends on your situation, but if it's your first time doing a streak to fix pied I'd recommend that 90 days. If you have an understanding partner then start trying it out after day 30.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2022
  11. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing. I got anxiety and depression (clinically diagnosed on meds and seeing a therapist for a few months). Anxiety was the first symptom I think as feelings of shame, and constantly wanting to get back to your closed off space subconsciously make you feel and get worse. You soon start getting worse at social interactions because of these and that messes things up further.

    My depression was because pmo and pied, and anxiety started affecting my focus and performance in uni, my gf then realised and that the relationship got bad, financial issues because my progress had slowed etc. I slowly got depressed.

    So I believe that other than anxiety that can be directly caused by getting worse at social interactions etc, my mental health issues stemmed from my overall worsening life conditions under pmo. I think most of us here are stagnated in life, don't have a meaningful career or job, social anxiety, can't approach women and no intimate relationships etc. All those things will slowly mess you up. And if you complete nofap while not trying to fix these parts of life we slowly get back to pmo.
     
  12. Usersamedame

    Usersamedame Fapstronaut

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    sorry to say but you don't get adhd, bipolar, ocd and "borderline" from pmo. You were like this b4 pmo
     
  13. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    I have to agree with this comment. See a doctor and get professional help. But the most you get from a pmo addiction is anxiety especially with pied and losing confidence around people. Depression may results if pmo use is long term and our lives begin to suffer e.g. poor performance, no relationships/sex, no social life, poor grades/ career etc. We can sloly get into depression with years of this. Otherwise, I don't think pmo will cause anything else.
     
  14. squaremetz

    squaremetz Fapstronaut

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    This is a very encouraging post. Reading some of the forum posts everything makes more sense to me. PMO started at a young age for me as well sadly...I didnt realize it had that big of a grip on my life and how I let it continue. It became a normal thing for me before too long and became part of my normal routine in my early 20's. The brain fog, low self esteem even seeing and looking up what pied is today makes more sense to me than anything. I have been trying herbs like tongkat ali and a few other ED herbs that seem to help here and there with what I thought was low T..looking up PIED it makes a lot more sense.
     
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  15. Sobriety Seeker

    Sobriety Seeker Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply. This is giving me a lot of hope. I definitely want to try the 90 days, and just make it a lifestyle after that. You must have a lot of will power to be able to be able to do all these streaks. My longest streak is like 63 days, and although I've been trying to quit for a while, I usually fail after just a couple days.

    What advice do you have for being able to maintain such a long streak? It's interesting you mention that things got easier after day 40. I did not experience this. Perhaps my problem is that during my long streaks I do occasionally peek and touch myself.
     
    thikk likes this.
  16. Was there any particular part of the doc that stands out? I can't really justify even half an hour, no time to really watch even movies I want to these days, I could just not read stuff for 30 minutes or something but it seems like it's more engaging to read and respond to posts.

    Aside from the two factors you mention there's of course a ton of stuff that can play into it. Although abstinence is important it's a bit like telling someone with a skin condition not to scratch, it'll make it worse. That's true, but maybe not everyone will get better from just not scratching for X number of days and it's kind of torture. For people who have the deeper skin infection it only makes sense they may get discouraged, and hopefully people can find something that kind of lessens the itch so to speak.
     
    thikk likes this.
  17. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    Glad the post helped in some way. I didn't consider pied too for ages, just started using pills which of course didn't end well. But after 8 years of pills etc pied went away after 90 days (I must add that the streak was very clean though). So yes, pied is a thing and I especially hate the anxiety it causes when it comes to sex.
     
  18. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    I agree, willpower does play a role but I think we are here mainly because we do not have that. I don't think willpower is the word, maybe discipline to stick to a plan that keeps pmo impossible to do. And I believe your approach is correct, "we don't want to be someone who is trying not to PMO, we want to be someone who doesn't PMO". And many healthy adults don't even PMO.

    In summary, I think I succeeded because of two things: 1.) I was living with family in a house with no privacy for months. So I just had to keep myself in view of people. 2.) I had messed up my life and was on the brink of failing uni too, if that was not reason enough to quit I don't what would. Here's a bit more detail to those two points.

    I got lucky in a way, first time I tried nofap was during the pandemic and I had gone back to live with family. And there was virtually no privacy in the house unless I stayed up late or tried to sneak in the bedroom. (Bedrooms were shared, all doors were always open etc.) I used that to my advantage and slept by 10pm each day and woke up when someone was already up. Then I stopped watching anything remotely sexual e.g music videos, social media. If I inadvertently found myself watching a sex scene in a movie I'd walk away asap. So I don't think I had strong willpower, I think I just forced myself to be with people all the time. We will always lack the willpower to stop ourselves from pmo in private, but we improve our willpower to keep ourselves in places/ situations where we simply cannot pmo.

    It's important that you mention that; I think most people are never honest that they are still peeking, touching (in whatever capacity), or having sexual thoughts and fantasies. I believe there is 'quality in nofap', and these things make quiting much more difficult. Someone who allows this also still has not made up their mind to quit. It's like compromised to only do a small part of PMO, but this does not work with an addiction. I was very strict with myself and I didn't do any of that; I remember seeing a marked difference in stopping sexual thoughts. I would count to 5 repeatedly if I had any sexual thoughts or urges and go for a walk or just change what I was doing. I'd go to the gym if urges were strong and I couldn't concentrate on work. The first 3 weeks it felt like I was constantly fighting myself from having sexual thoughts, like I was crazy or something. By day 30 it was getting easier as if my head was getting clearer. I also started to gradually forget p scenes and even p star names. I remember I used to fantasize before bed and that stopped too, I'd just read or watch something, get tired and fall asleep. I was almost always tired by evening because of gym and work anyway.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2022
  19. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    I think you are spot on, and that anecdote describes the pmo addiction well. Only thing I would add is that msot of us in pmo have issues in life too e.g. don't have relationships/friends, social anxiety, stagnated in jobs/ academics, no proper goals we are trying to work on each day etc. These things bring meaning and drive in life. We can quit pmo for a year ut if we still have no social circles, or feel like we are struggling in life the stress (whether conscious or subconscious) will get us back to pmo. When you are serious about goals (career/academic), have friends/family, and your own healthy activities like gym etc. You don't even have time for anything else, heck you don't have time for all these in a week. So we need to fix our issues too, not just pmo.
     
    OrganizeInformed likes this.
  20. I get almost crippling anxiety
     
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