Effectiveness of Covenant Eyes?

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. urban_pilgrim

    urban_pilgrim Fapstronaut

    Hi y'all,

    I was curious what you all think about the Covenant Eyes platform. I used it for roughly a year, but still managed to find ways around the filters, etc. Obviously, you have to use the browser provided for it to make much difference, and if you find a way to look at P using another app, the software becomes pretty much useless.

    What do you think? Is it morally strengthening to try and quit PMO cold turkey without a service like covenant eyes? Do you prefer accountability through their e-mails, or just "honors system" by confessing to your close friends?

    If covenant eyes isn't the best way to go, what are the alternatives to making it more difficult to look at porn?

    urban_pilgrim
     
  2. Covenant eyes works. Not only does it force you to stop for a second if you have filtering, but it holds you accountable to a friend. Not using an aid is not morally strengthening. It is morally constraining. Why would you want to force yourself to struggle more, and continue to sin, when you could use accountability, a God given tool, to help you. Playing lone wolf is what got you into porn and kept you there. Christian community will get you out. Too many times I have thought about looking up suggestive stuff, and ignored it because I didn't want to have that conversation with my friend.
     
    urban_pilgrim likes this.
  3. protagonistes

    protagonistes Fapstronaut

    I use another accountability software called Everaccountable. Just like you, I also discovered ways around it.
    Everaccountable screens my content, and I can also add keywords so that it learns the names of apps I use to circumvent it.
    If anything, what I learnt is that accountability software by itself is not the solution.

    In fact, I think they need to be incorporated into constant communication with your accountability partners, confession, and help from various sources of support.

    Principally what the accountability software does is that it forces you to be responsible / accountable to others about your surfing behaviour.
    So why not use it in conjunction with other habits / helps / supports to keep yourself accountable?
     
    urban_pilgrim likes this.
  4. urban_pilgrim

    urban_pilgrim Fapstronaut

    Really helpful that it knows the names of the apps you use to circumvent it! Thanks for the tip though; I totally agree software like that doesn't do the work itself. You need to use it in the context of relationship for sure.
     
  5. urban_pilgrim

    urban_pilgrim Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing. I get where you're coming from, and I'm glad that's been your experience! Sadly I don't think I've ever managed to use ****religious content**** in a way that made a big difference in my life. I'm sure it helped a little bit, but maybe not in an enduring or effective way.
     
  6. Do you have a friend who is your accountability partner? I don't mean kind of know you, met at work kind of friend. I mean the Four Loves kind of friend. To paraphrase,

    " Whereas two lovers bare their bodies in carnal love, two friends bare their minds in the same way. Naked and open."

    You need a friend who cares. Who is deep with you. Who is willing to drive over at 2 in the morning to make sure you are okay. I'm lucky to have someone like that in my life. It takes a while to make this friendship, but as much as you put into the relationship, if you both are committed, you will get more out.
     
  7. urban_pilgrim

    urban_pilgrim Fapstronaut

    Thank you for putting that out there. I do have a friend like this. His friendship has been the number 1 encouragement in the midst of my struggle with PMO; actually we got close because we were in an accountability group together, and now our friendship has become so much more. Maybe you don't use NoFap very much, but how do you balance real-life friendships and something like this internet group?
     
  8. I meet regularly with real friends, and ask for prayers from internet friends as well as real friends. I have a weekly Bible study on Mondays, and have friends over during weekends to play video games and talk about our problems. I try to stay away from social media. My Facebook account is inactive, and I avoid memes since they are what led me to porn in the first place. Real connections with people are what help me. I even talked to a girl today, and yeah it was awkward, but it was more fulfilling to talk a a real girl who is a friend than gawk at some poor girl on the internet. PMO keeps us alone. Getting out of the house keeps you from really getting deep into it and keeps you only having fantasies unless you are like hardcore addicted.
     
    urban_pilgrim likes this.
  9. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    I haven't use Covenant Eyes but used to X3 Watch and have tried various filters. Really I think it's better to cultivate self-control rather than rely on a computer programme. Another thing about CE is I have issues with their theology and had to stop following them on social media because it was getting annoying.

    Christian community can be great if it's healthy but I haven't been able to find a real healthy one. I've had two AP IRL and they haven't been all that helpful. One would make me feel awful after meeting up with him - he basically said I looked at porn because I have no respect for women. Both AP ended up ghosting me. But it's not as bad as one guy did. He was a leader in my old church and I told him about my porn problem and he told everyone in a Bible study that I looked at porn. AP's just haven't worked out for me, maybe they're just not for me. Maybe I'm partly to blame... I'm a bit of an introvert but I don't think it's entirely my fault.
     
    urban_pilgrim likes this.
  10. urban_pilgrim

    urban_pilgrim Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry you had such a rough experience with accountability partners... what a drag! I hope someday you can find an accountability partner who is more gracious and respects your confidentiality than your last two, because really I think it's worth it. The weird thing is, with the people I opened up to, they became my best friends after I opened up. Something about being willing to talk about what was supposedly the "deepest & darkest" aspects of ourselves made us grow that much closer...

    I'm curious what issues you began having with ****religious content**** about their theology? I didn't love their blogs, etc. but I didn't know they wrote much about theological stuff..
     
  11. My wife locks down my phone for me, but without giving anybody ideas, there is NOTHING that stops me from porn on my iPhone. So it boils down to me and do I want to change. This NoFap has been a game changer for me so far!
     
  12. [QUOTE=" How would my life change if I got a flip phone? :emoji_thinking: - Marty[/QUOTE]

    I had a flip phone for a while at the same time I had covenant eyes on my laptop. I found a way around both and because of it got frustrated, removed the eyes and then got another smart phone. One thing that the eyes were testing before I got rid of the program was identifying images themselves so it no longer came down to the browser which I thought was super cool. It was in testing though so I don't know if they ever released it but I think that would have been the update I needed. I found a way around the program through a different type of browser that shall be left unnamed because it has too much power. In the end I think you have to really want to quit and everyone has to create their own "why". The more information I have found about it the more it has helped give me that reason and I think this group will help too. Just joined. Thanks.
     
    onceaking likes this.

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