Discovered masturbating at age 11, porn and hentai at age 13/14, been using it ever since. At first, I used it because it felt so good and I kept wanting more. Later, I needed it to remedy depression and it gave me a feeling of acceptance and connection when I felt rejected and lonely. Eventually, I started using it to run away from problems and stress instead of facing them head on and constructively. In high school, I was a loner, anti-social, couldn’t make good friends. Girls were attracted to me because of how I looked, but then they’d talk to me/get to know me and the attraction would be gone. I would always end up seeing them with someone else. I had no energy in social settings. Completely unconfident, insecure and no self-worth. I saw everyone as better than me. I never enjoyed parties or clubbing. I was too shy and I had no energy in those scenarios. In parties, I would just wonder around awkwardly and in clubs I would dance awkwardly, caring about how I look in front of others. I went through university for 4 years yearning for a girlfriend but I failed for the entire 4 years lol. I went to clubs so many times a week but I never kissed a stranger, not even once, although I did kiss just a few girls (like 5 in 4 years) over my time at University, but I needed to be drunk to do it. Last year, I did NoFap unintentionally without even knowing what it was. I was studying abroad in China and sharing a room with 3 other people – my roommate, his girlfriend, and a friend of mine who was visiting from my home country. That’s the reason why I wasn’t masturbating or watching porn. That time of no masturbating lasted around 45 days. I never noticed at the time, but looking back at those 45 days, I was more sociable than I had ever been, behaving like an alpha and I actually got my first ever girlfriend at the age of 22. And in my unbiased opinion, she was easily the hottest girl in the dorm I was living in. So after wanting a girlfriend for 4 FUCKING YEARS and failing, I finally managed to get one the very first time I ever quit PMO for over a month since discovering it. And I didn’t even know what NoFap was at that time or that it would apparently give me life changing benefits. For some reason, I started PMO again while I was with her. I used it to deal with the stress and arguments we ended up having. I can see now that because of returning to PMO, I started acting like a beta male bitch again and her behaviour started showing less signs of attraction – I think it was because I had less semen in me. When we first met, she was magnetically attracted to me, kept holding my hand and when we became a couple, she wanted kisses all the time. When I returned to my old habits, she didn’t care about kisses, she gave me less attention, became rude, disrespectful and even a little flirty with other boys even while I was there. That’s the difference in a relationship when you have retained semen and behave like an alpha compared to when you are empty and behave like a beta male. We eventually broke up and I discovered a book by Mantak Chia which I highly recommend called Taoist Secrets of Love. This is one of those books that changes the way you see and live your life. In a nutshell, it taught me about the power of semen, the correct way to use that energy and the correct way to use sex. I googled more and came across NoFap a few months ago. I read all the experiences that were similar to mine, about finding porn at a young age, not realising what you were doing and all the similar symptoms. And then I read about the success stories and watched Youtube videos which inspired me to consciously go on NoFap like how I did accidently when I was in China. Right now, I have craving to look at porn, to look at hentai and a real craving to masturbate while thinking about my ex. But fuck that. No more. Those days where I was accidently on NoFap, were the best days of my life. I finally fell in love after 23 years of being a single, masturbating loser virgin. I finally had friends and energy around people. I was happy and at that time, I had no idea that it was because of no PMO. I am currently on Day 15 and after day 90 I will stop counting the days. I want to be happy. I want to be in love again and I want to have sex again. I want to be an alpha male that she is attracted to and who can protect her, not that beta that I reverted back to, disappointing my girl. I want to have friends again. I want to have energy again. Energy to work out, to read, to apply myself, to socialise and live life to the fullest. This is my life and my responsibility.