Ejaculation : it's just not possible for me anymore...

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Vedas_fr, Jul 27, 2018.

  1. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    Hi advanced Fapstronauts!

    So, basically, after reaching my goal of 100 days streak, i felt like i should give it a try and see where i am with ejaculation, and sex in general, because i feel like i should have a wife and not be single. I hoped to see improvement with my post ejaculatory issues. Of course not ejaculate a lot but a few times a month, just to get a sex life.
    There i should mention that i am someone who heavily suffers from post ejaculation effects, even while being a very moderate masturbator for years with only a few girldfriends, i get huge health and energy impact from sex.

    Anyway so i thought after 102 days, i could afford a little let go and sort of study the after effects, just to know where i am and what i can allow myself. It did not come from urges or anything, just the will to change and be able to have a normal sex life.

    You would think that after 102 of no ejaculation whatsoever, you wouldn't suffer from one ejaculation. (which was quite important in volume by the way :X).

    WRONG. I noticed 2 important symptoms, but in a way that is good because i know more about this issue and its impacts.

    -Insomnia : i am absolutely certain, without any doubt, that ejaculation tend to create insomnia. It is a state of alertness and fatigue at the same time. Because i am in a good period, very healthy and energetic after 3 months of nofap, i did not feel tired after orgasm but i however felt that weird alertness. I now very much believe it is linked to hormonal changes happening during orgasm.
    I did a bit of research on the internet and i saw a website, and apparently it has to do with dopamine, melatonine, adrenalyne and epiphretine or something like that. All these hormones are burned up or transformed during orgasm and for some reason it leaves you in a weird state, where you canno't sleep and feel irritable and moody.

    I want to stress that for 3 months, i had maybe 1 or 2 bad nights, all linked to external stress factor or exhaustion, like sleeping in my car after driving 10 hours. I am very experienced with insomnia and i know where it comes from in my case, some kind of body unbalance. I can feel if i am going to sleep well or not.

    - lower back pain: I definitively feel pain in my lower back after orgasm. Not right away after ejaculation, but the following night and hours. I thought it was fatigue, but no, it is really created by ejaculation only. After reading this website wich describes exactly what i feel, i don't have any doubt about it. It has to do with kidneys inflammation because of hormones being messed up.
    http://www.herballove.com/guide/lower-back-pain-caused-over-masturbation

    Please note that i am not talking some random shit, i really am 100 % sure thoses symptoms are linked to ejaculation. It happened many times in my life.
    But the thing that kind of disapoint me is that even after 100 days of total chastity, nothing changes. The symptoms are just lighter. I am sure if i went to do it again, it would just be 2 times worst the next night.
    Also because of those symptoms you build up psychological symptoms, like anxiety, negativity, because the restlessness is mentally disturbing and exhausting. All of it is linked.

    So basically, fuck it, i am out, forever. Ejaculation is not for me and i don't think i will never find any other way than not to ejaculate in order to be healthy and avoid these issues.
    I think it played a major role in how weak and depressive i was in my last teenage years. It probably contributed in many psychological and mental issues i faced during my highschool years.
    All of this is gone now. Fuck it.
     
  2. Future role model

    Future role model Fapstronaut

    Maybe you should try no PMO for more than a year? Maybe it will heal you. 100 days is a long period but maybe you should've waited even more.
     
  3. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    Maybe, maybe not... Anyway i'm off ejaculation forever basically, unless i find a way to handle and make disapear all the symptoms. I don't believe i can however.
    Also these were mild symptoms because i was in very good shape and abstained very long.
     
  4. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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  5. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    It's nice to share your experience with me. Yes it might be individual, however i am made from the same clay as every other men and what happens to me might have an impact on other people, although of course my case can be specific.

    You say you are 69, ejaculate 3 times a week all your life, and felt no hangover (which is biologically impossible, because if you study the link posted all mammals have hangovers from sex, and excess sex creates anxiety issues in rat, look the study).

    I kind of believe you, however have a few questions:
    - Are you energetic, charismatic, healthy?
    - did you accomplish interestings and valuable things in life?
    - when interacting with people, or having a confrontation, do you feel confident and able to stand up to agression or are you easily scarred and nervous?
    - do you bald? did you have grey hairs early?
    -do you have stable mood? sleep problems?
     
  6. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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  7. I am energetic. I swim, row,cycle and until I had my knee replacement in January ‘18 I ran long distances.
    I was an art teacher for 34 years and an artist my entire life.
    I am somewhat anxious when in confrontations but really believe confrontations are misunderstandings or miscommunications more than some terrible thing.
    I am thin haired, not quite bald but started getting gray in my 50s and am now totally gray.( I liketo say platinum)
    Definitely no sleep problems.
    I am diagnosed with seasonal effective disorder but even that has become less of a problem as I age.
    I do take blood pressure medicine since I turned 60.
    Mostly I attribute my sense of well-being to prayer/contemplation/ faith.
    My biggest problem in life was coming to terms with my sexual abuse as a child.
     
  8. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    Yes, with the added fatigue i feel like shit. I have read that sex creates hormonal cocktail, which in the long term is very draining and disturbing for glands and thyroids, and this creates inflamation on kidneys for some reason.

    In my case, orgasm/ejaculation always mess up my health even if i abstain for months. So i'm just giving up on it. That's how it is for me.
    On the contrary i just feel very energetic and confident if i abstain for months. The symptoms only appear if i have sex.
     
  9. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    You say that now, but if you do one year nofap and go back to sex, you will immediatly feel the loss of energy, the mood swings, and you will be like me...
     
  10. I have had the same and if I binge hard I get them. Insomnia is fuckery of the energy system. What they call chi. It is weakened and messed up. There is barely enough kinetic energy in the system to keep the organs alive so adrenaline mode just to stay alive. Do earthing (google it) and get sun exposure. And avoid touching electronics, they electrically attack the cells and drain them.

    Back pain is low cerebro-spinal fluid. Older men especially get it. You make that from food. 3 ejaculations a week like our brother mentioked above, is not enough to weaken this. Food in a week is enough to replenish. Especially if you exercise. Do bridges and lower back stretches. They will help. Plank is good too, for strong core(back) muscles.

    I also take various 'ojas' boosting foods like ghee, raw cacao powder, coconut oil, some honey and peanut butter. I still relapsed before, as usual, and noticed back pain almost nonexistent after relapse after I started eatijg this good stuff. Normal food is usually retarded. Itis outrageously pooor quality. So some good mother nature penicillin type shots are needed ;)
     
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  11. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    I have read that back pain is kidneys pain, and this has to do with inflammation and also lack of nutrients / energy for correct functionning. But the thing is that i did not ejaculate ONCE in 102 days, had no wet dreams for 40 days so how do you explain that it still fuck me up?
    Please note that before that streak, i was a very very moderate masturbator (3-4 times a month average)
    And yes insomnia is very unpleasant, it is like your mind is wired, you are in a sort of state where you think and are in a haze at the same time, but you canno't sleep. Before being a true Fapstronaut, i would experience these drained states with a lot of anxiety because i did not understand what was happening. It was extremely disturbing when i look back i see how it impacted my life negatively. Now i am a different person. It created secondary mental problems like depression, anxiety, mistrust in myself because i did not understand what happened.
    Your health literrally is everything, it will determine what happens to you, what you do in life, how you interact with the world, plus it is like a magnet, good physical energy attracts good things. I am starting to be succesful in life because i have learned to be healthy and balanced. I also notice i am literally more lucky (real pure luck). My connection with the whole universe is better.
    After all these years of struggling, i don't see how i could keep on such a destructive habit, even if you have a partner. I am convinced sex is for procreation, and we shouldn't have sex more than a few hundred times in our lifetime.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2018
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  12. EmmyB

    EmmyB Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations to the OP. You were abstinent, you tried M, you realized it's harmful, now you're committed to being orgasm-free.

    From a girl perspective, that's what I call a strong guy. You should not find it difficult to get a girlfriend, and hopefully she will respect your desire not to climax with her.
     
  13. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the nice comment, but i feel like i have no choice anyway if i want to feel good and go ahead in life, and now that i am used to it, it is even easier for me to do nofap for long periods than to actually have sex. Also, i would like to have a girlfriend / wife and the only thing preventing me from this is that i know very well how i become when i cumulate relationship / sex / ejaculation fatigue. So i don't even look for it.
    I don't think many girls will be interested in a guy that will fuck them 5 times a year, even if he is interesting.
     
  14. Have you heard of Karezza? If not, google it.
     
    EmmyB likes this.
  15. zadvanceppa

    zadvanceppa Fapstronaut

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    Really an interesting thread! Like so many questions stewing in my mind for so many years, seem to be answered here. I was always a heavy semen release seeker ;whether by M'ing or with women's cooperation. I couldn't seem to get enough and only until these last 4-5 have I seemed to relax that rather demanding drain. I figured it was my age. As I look back on my youth now, I had lots of lower back pain, insomnia, all around found my life confusing and difficult to grasp the reasons why it was so. Rudderless might be a good way of describing myself. My newfound nofap and retention interests of these past 4 years has overall been generally an improvement in my mind and body. Hard to imagine complete cessation of the orgasm. But, the way I feel now, it will be a special and rare treat, indeed. If I find nothing but negative feelings on the other side of the orgasm, I too may have to rethink it. My over doing it for so long ( I'm 56 ) most definitely changed my course physically and emotionally, spiritually. Luckily, I still feel kinda young but I also feel that time for seeking discipline is now and there is no more time for me to seek out other answers. Retention is so obvious to me now. I don't put all my money down on it alone, but its a hell of a foundation to improving my situation.
     
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  16. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    While reflecting upon myself, i realized that indeed, going NoFap or having lots of sex are radically two different path. Your life will be totally different if you are abstinent. In fact i think it is much more easy to be abstinent than to ejaculate regularly.
    And yes when on nofap, i found out that i evolved much more faster and much more consequently than if i weren't. Your description of confused life is what it is. You feel like shit and you don't know what to do overall. I also was like you before doing long streak i would abstain for shorter period and found that my state improved.
    But unlike you i was too self aware and never was a heavy releaser, except as a teenager.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2018
    Future role model likes this.
  17. CrispyMac

    CrispyMac Fapstronaut

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    Like Hermit Ninja said, check out Karezza, it is about having slow sex with your partner and both of you not reaching orgasm. There is a book on it called 'Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships'.

    I can confirm that masturbating affects your sleep. I am going through a stressful time at the moment changing jobs and moving house which would normally cause me to get around 4-6 hours sleep when I was masturbating. But I have been on NoFap for the last 50 days and have had good sleep during this period so I think there is some truth to this.
     
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  18. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    It takes a week of nofap to get back to normal sleep. For a few days sleeping is impaired in my experience.
     

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