EMERGENCY - Help, pls anyone!!!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by SoulcycleHarmonist, Dec 6, 2019.

Whats the best way to permanently abstain?

  1. Replacing with new habits

    33.3%
  2. Meditation

    33.3%
  3. Exercising

    16.7%
  4. Reading books tho i can't concentrate on one

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. Cold shower

    33.3%
  6. All of the above

    50.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. SoulcycleHarmonist

    SoulcycleHarmonist New Fapstronaut

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    EMERGENCY - Help, pls anyone!!!
    Warning: this is a long post. For those who want me to get straight to the point, I just relapsed... idk what to do anymore and I need help to complete NoFap for 90 days. Please read the rest below for the details on my case tho, would greatly appreciate it!

    Ugh. My first post on this site, and I feel like absolute shit. My mind feels so frazzled and out of place; so uneasy and mentally unstable. You've guessed it. I gave into the urge. Yet again. My body feels so drained; I feel so weak, thin and at pain both physically and mentally. I feel like a complete weak ass loser who falls prey to some small time sensations that end up greatly messing up his life over and over again. I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. Despite the fact that I constantly tell myself time and time again that I won't give in anymore, I always just end up doing it. I'm at yet another loss quite literally - a loss of time, of life, of energy, of motivation, of sanity.
    Here's a little about me. I'm currently 19. I started fapping since I was 12; at an age before I even started to ejaculate. At first, it was innocent. The urges were kind of stimulated by implicited sexual infatuations, but back then I was so young and naive. I mostly did it for the feeling of the deed, not for sexual arousals - for the action felt ever so sensational and relieving. But as most of you must have experienced yourselves, it just got worse and worse. Long story short, throughout the years, I developed and integrated highly sexual tendencies in my fap sessions as I started to ejaculate - it's what eventually got me addicted to fapping to porn. I did it more and more day in and day out - sometimes I fapped once a day, yet there were times I lost control of myself and binged for hours on end while watching porn or just by looking at mere pictures. I did it until my dick hurt like crazy, yet I had a monster within me that just wouldn't stop. And here I am now - having been consistently doing it for nearly 8 whole years, it was only this year when I learned about NoFap and the negative side effects and consequences from fapping excessively without control. Had I known about the effects of fapping, I would have never done it at all. I truly regret this disgusting addiction of mine and want to get rid of it for good. It's affected me to the point I think about fapping at least 10 times a day (of whether or not I should do it, as well as its effects on me and how long it will take for my mind to be rewired back to an average brain). I've attempted to go on hard mode, completely cold Turkey for 90 consecutive days for a multitude of times now - over a month - and I've relapsed like 12 times this last month alone (rip no nut nov), this including my fail days having the occasional 2 faps a day. The most consecutive days that I went without fapping was a solid week - which had one too many really intense struggle on many occassions. The only thing that's really improved since I've introduced myself to NoFap was the resistance of watching porn - but it's no good when I have vivid sexually arousing images pop up in my mind (especially considering for me to have a fetish that's hard for me to stop thinking about). This was the thing that causes me (and still does) to relapse.
    I'll finally get straight to the point as I ask HOW???
    How do I stop fapping for atleast 90 days?? I honestly dont ever want to fap ever again knowing the repercussions, but that's too unrealistic at this point. How do I get control of my life? I feel like this is something I have to break free out of without cheating myself.
    I've been reading a lot of forums lately and have already learned a lot of tips to repress my urges, which is what I have to thank for learning how to abstain for atleast a week. Such include:
    To press my legs together for 10 seconds
    Cold showers/using cold water on testicles/the genitals
    Exercising
    Meditation
    Imagining disgusting/unarousing things occurring to models/actions
    Hitting myself to train myself to not feel the urges instinctively
    Accepting the urges and then ignoring the thoughts by diverting the attention to other subjects/tasks at hand.
    I've tried and tried and TRIED all of these, but they aren't permanent remedies. The most they do is halt the urges only momentarily - especiallywith exercising. But the urges dont just come and go - they can momentarily leave but they then last for HOURS on end unless I fap. And it's not a hyperbolic statement; today I've had a monster urge for over 3 HOURS before I gave into it. Trust me, when I start to think of a sexual image, I dont even have to hump or use my hands to fap - my dick just starts jizzing out semen bit by bit. How can I possibly control that??? If I dont fap, I waste hours of jizzing little bits until its equivalent to a couple of ml of semen. If I relapse, the urges are gone for atleast a couple of hours but then I feel weak af and suicidal. I really dont know what to do at this point and any help would be greatly appreciated. Please!
    This is definitely the hardest fight of my life and I really am determined to win back my life. I believe in myself to have what if takes and for it to be possible.
     
  2. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

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    These are all ways to suppress your urges but they can't help you to fight them completely. It's you who has to fight them.it's never gonna be easy. If you don't have will power there's no way for you to break out of an addiction. If you want a good life free of addictions, then fight for it. You control your brain, not the other way around, you need to have a strong resolve to do this. All the best! Be strong!
     
  3. SoundsGoodToMe

    SoundsGoodToMe Fapstronaut

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    The best thing you can do is GET OUT.
    Sitting alone in your house listening to the urges in your head won't help you one bit. Go shopping/gym/running/walking/see friends/family/Do some DIY/Gardening/etc.
    Just do anything to leave the house. lol
     
  4. control your life

    control your life Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Its very unpleasant having strong urge and resisting it for hours with no success . Best is to get out of your room . If getting out is not an option ( sick or before sleep ) then play video game and pop a sleeping pill . It will knock you out after 30 min or so . To increase your will go rinning and excercising regularly .
     
    Jefe Rojo and SoulcycleHarmonist like this.
  5. SoulcycleHarmonist

    SoulcycleHarmonist New Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thanks for the reply! Actually, most of the time I'm not able to get out of my room because it's where I virtually everything - study, play video games, work out in etc. So I guess I should try to find a way to not always be in there and get out more often, plus work on fighting the urges with more will power. Thanks for the advice!
     
  6. SoulcycleHarmonist

    SoulcycleHarmonist New Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thanks for the reply! I guess I need to focus on being out of the house and exercising more often. It's been hard to do so as everyday, I've always been so relient on staying at home practically the entire day. I wanted to find a way to fight the addictions at home, but I guess the urges won't come as much if at all when I'm outside.
    Yea, even if I do go out more often I will have to face the fact that I will definitely be jizzing during the night before I go to sleep. I guess the best way to avoid that is to avoid phone use at night and take sleep supplements. Thanks for the advice!
     
  7. SoulcycleHarmonist

    SoulcycleHarmonist New Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thanks for the reply!
    Yup, exactly the line of advice prominently screaming at me rn is for me to just get out of the house. It's gonna be hard to do it now during the break (except on the days I spend with family) so I guess the alternative on the days I'm forced to spend time home is to just exercise. I guess I just exercise a little bit whenever I get the urges, but it's not enough. Maybe I need to exercise much longer to spend my energy on something much more practical? I would rather spend the time reading or studying but whenever the urges come I can never do either. Anyhow, thanks for the advice. I guess exercise can stop me from jizzing my pants from pre ejaculation too, right?
     
  8. Try to realize that after 8 years of doing it your body is going to boycott you stopping. I’ve had urges last up to three days and three nights. It’s horrible and so difficult to resist. But I reached 99 days without MO after joining NoFap and I will tell you what I learned.

    1. Urges will always eventually go away. They may feel like they’ll never go away unless you give in, but that’s not true. They always eventually went away.

    2. Urges always come in rounds or waves. For me, they came once or twice a week until around 40 days. After 40 days they seemed to weaken and not happen as often. Around 75 days I no longer really felt the urges. They would come but they were so weak that they were easy to resist.

    3. Your mind is a muscle. Right now your mind is weak and cannot bear the heavy weight of abstaining for more than a week. I promise you that as you resist, your mind grows stronger. Your streaks will get longer. You will learn that you actually can control your own destiny. Eventually after resisting many times in a row for several days your mind is strong enough to no longer give into the urges.

    90 days is a good goal but why not start with something smaller like 14 days?

    I promise that you can overcome this. Learn from your mistakes. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Learn from your mistakes and apply those lessons so you don’t make the same mistake twice. You have a lot of potential strength. Imagine a weight lifter trying to lift way more weigh than they’re used to. They won’t be able to do it right away. But as they put in the hard work they eventually make it to their goal of lifting more weight.

    I wish you the best. Don’t get discouraged. It’s a problem that can be dealt with; it’s not who you are. It is frustrating for sure. Just be patient and learn and grow stronger.
     
  9. Number 5000

    Number 5000 Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy, I hope you're ok! If you need a friend, we can talk!