Emergency Toolbox that helped me a lot during my first 100 Days

Wow!! Good for you man dont stop we are all on this together i just wanna ask a question Does edging mean that i did masturbation?
 
fercho29 said:
Hi @NetherRey , I am glad this text helped you.
I did not write it by myself, I copied it from a post in Reddit. It was the first post that shocked me so much that I decided to save it in my cell phone Notes to have it handy to read every time I got an urge.
Afterwards I kept adding more texts to my collection, they helped me a lot during my first three month of recovery
Fortunately I do not need them anymore, nevertheless I keep adding more stuff I consider valuable
Keep fighting
Fercho
Click to expand...

But still, Thanks a lot man.
I will try to make my own list too and see if it helps me build my disgust towards watching P, while M and O are healthy through moderation, excessive M'ing can have health issues too.
 
MadJack12 said:
Wow!! Good for you man dont stop we are all on this together i just wanna ask a question Does edging mean that i did masturbation?
Click to expand...
Hi @MadJack12
Edging is when you masturbate for several hours, and every time you are almost ejaculating you stop, so you can "stretch the experience" a bit longer.
It is very common that we do this as adicts. I used to have 60-90 minutes PMO sessions "thanks" to this trick
Fercho
 
NetherRey said:
But still, Thanks a lot man.
I will try to make my own list too and see if it helps me build my disgust towards watching P, while M and O are healthy through moderation, excessive M'ing can have health issues too.
Click to expand...
Super cool and powerful image, @NetherRey
If you want to build disgust, here is my recommendation: next time you cannot avoild watching porn and fapping, at least take 30 seconds and put any recording device (Ipad, Iphone, etc) in front of you and start recording.
I placed the camera in front of me, so I could see the back of my laptop, and my face getting transformed while I was PMOing. I was so sad to see how my eyes were getting blank, like an idiot, and it shocked me the sad face I had 5 seconds after I ejaculated.
This image helped me to understand that I had an idealistic representation inside my head of how "good: fapping and watching porn was for me, while the expression on my face was not showing that.
I hope it helps
Fercho
 
Here is another valuable post that I added last week to my Emergency Toolbox, thanks to our friend @galaxim, he is our "librarian of record" at NoFap, always doing a great job reading other people's journals and extracting the best posts. Thank you @galaxim for doing this! :

"A Slip Does Not Need to Become a Slide":
If you slip, your addict may tell you to just keep going: ”Since you’ve already slipped, you might as well do more.” But if you start to slip, or you do slip, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to slide. What if you were on a mountainside and you slipped? Would you give up and just keep sliding until you fell off the mountain? Or would you try to get a foothold and keep climbing upward? If you slip in your recovery, you can still stop right there and just keep climbing. You might have some ground to make up, but you can do it. You have the tools.
A crisis can be a gold mine. That may sound contradictory, but it’s true. For example, if you’re triggered and you successfully resist, you will less likely to be triggered next time. We all live in worlds of chaos and unpredictable moments. When you are prepared, you can turn what could have been a slip into another positive step in your recovery.
 
fercho29 said:
Dear Fapstronauts:
I want to share with you some texts that I saved in "Notes" in my cell phone to read during my urges. I found it useful to have it handy.
They help me a lot during the weak moments, when I feel that I will lose the battle.
Some things I took from other posts, some I wrote and some I copied from other sites. (I hope nobody claims copyrights, lol)
I hope this helps
Keep fighting
Fercho


1. Inspirational videos that helped me a lot during my reboot:


http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/#post-298396

2. These are my two favorite readings when I am in emergency:


To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?

For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean.

"...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."


I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene


The NF journey

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.

• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best,

Fercho
Click to expand...

Fercho, this is a great manifesto! Thanks for this encouraging, well reasoned and well written support!
Bless you!
 
Th
fercho29 said:
Dear Fapstronauts:
I want to share with you some texts that I saved in "Notes" in my cell phone to read during my urges. I found it useful to have it handy.
They help me a lot during the weak moments, when I feel that I will lose the battle.
Some things I took from other posts, some I wrote and some I copied from other sites. (I hope nobody claims copyrights, lol)
I hope this helps
Keep fighting
Fercho


1. Inspirational videos that helped me a lot during my reboot:


http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/#post-298396

2. These are my two favorite readings when I am in emergency:


To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?

For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean.

"...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."


I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene


The NF journey

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.

• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best,

Fercho
Click to expand...
thanks.I teared up reading this. Its like there is a devil inside me, and I question if I am that bad a person. Everything gets distorted and takes me time to think back to rationality
 
yuri_ sing said:
Th

thanks.I teared up reading this. Its like there is a devil inside me, and I question if I am that bad a person. Everything gets distorted and takes me time to think back to rationality
Click to expand...
You are right @yuri_ sing
The addiction distorts everything, we do not have a real estimate of what we are doing.
Eight months clean changed my way of perception of things, I cannot beileve I was so many hours wasting my time in PMO, escorts , etc.
It was a waste of energy, money and time. I could have used all these resources in charity and positive acts.
The good thing is that I can do it now, it is a god way of never returning to porn
Fercho
 
I want to share this thoughts from Ekhart Tolle which I find very useful:

"Another aspect is guilt, which has to do with something one did to someone, or something that one failed to do and should have done.

The question is : who you were then? No human can act beyond of his level of conscious at that time. You acted like the awareness was not there to act differently. Now the awareness is there , and the awareness is who you truly are."

Some of you will find during a certain part of your reboot a big sense of guilt and remorse. When your brain start getting rid from the porn addiction, it will show all the wrong things we did, like mistreating your wife, neglecting your family, procrastinating in your job, lying, etc.

Just remember these things, they will make your reboot easier
Fercho
 
Last edited:
thirty30 said:
Hi Fercho29,

Your posts are really helpful.

Just want to say thanks. :)
Click to expand...
Thank you @thirty30 , I am glad you found this stuff helpful.
I have updated and added more quotes in this post if you are interested:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318

You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

Keep on fighting
Fercho
 
Mitness said:
Don't know if your still there Fercho, but THANKS for the post.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for your kind post @Mitness . Yep, I am still around, not daily as I used to be, but still like to enter at least once or twice a week to this site. helping other members help me stay grounded and alert, and never forget the hell my life was almost 3 years ago when I started rebooting
Stay strong, and do not hesitate in using these readings every time you get an urge
Fercho
 
Fehr said:
I have tears in my eyes when i reading this.
Click to expand...
Yep, these readings are very powerful. They remind me why I am still in this fight and why I should never get back to PMO. I love Prague, which part of Czech Republic are you from?
 
fercho29 said:
Dear Fapstronauts:
I want to share with you some texts that I saved in "Notes" in my cell phone to read during my urges. I found it useful to have it handy.
They help me a lot during the weak moments, when I feel that I will lose the battle.
Some things I took from other posts, some I wrote and some I copied from other sites. (I hope nobody claims copyrights, lol)
I hope this helps
Keep fighting
Fercho


1. Inspirational videos that helped me a lot during my reboot:


http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/#post-298396

2. These are my two favorite readings when I am in emergency:


To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?

For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean.

"...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."


I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene


The NF journey

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.

• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best,

Fercho
Click to expand...
Very inspiring
 
fercho29 said:
Yep, these readings are very powerful. They remind me why I am still in this fight and why I should never get back to PMO. I love Prague, which part of Czech Republic are you from?
Click to expand...
Im from Brno, Moravia its second major city here, were you here to visit in Prague?
 
Fehr said:
Im from Brno, Moravia its second major city here, were you here to visit in Prague?
Click to expand...
My business partner is Austrian, he married a Czech girl. The wedding was in a town one hour outside Prague. We also visited Czesky Krumlov and Karlovy Vary. Such beautiful places!
 
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