Emergency Toolbox that helped me during my first 320 days of reboot

Thank you Fercho! I actually found that thread yesterday and watched the motivational mind-shift and the story of porn guy that @britaxe posted twice now It helps a lot. And on Sunday I was watching inspirational/motivational videos for the first time on youtube - I couldn't help myself from crying. I don't how to describe the feelings that I was having. I read the comments about that guy though, did he really die?

I'm a fighter forever!

 

Yes those videos are crucial to me.
The video about the guy who stood in front of the audience like a comedian and told his story about porn. Britax posted it in your thread, the link that you sent me. I guess he was an actor? And yes I know he would get an alert. I kinda wanted him to know that watched it, but I guess I could have "liked" it. Was that the right thing to do?

 

Hmm weird you guys were saying he died and how he was a good actor. Who is he anyways? I agree these videos are very inspirational. He has a lot of courage going on stage talking about his journey with PMO. I wish there were more videos like these to watch. It is different than just reading about a journey, it seems like I have more of a connection watching him talk about it out loud. Hey I have an Idea! Look at your counter, you should make a video! You're a good role model.

 

Hey this may be a dumb question, but I havent touched the panic button. I might be confusing it with the panic button on the convenant eyes software but I if I hit the panic button on NoFap, will that disable my internet connection? what if I hit the Emergency tab?

 

I bet you're an AWESOME teacher! What do you teach, if I may ask? I understand you and I agree not everyone outside of nofap would understand. Even though I have no important reputations, I'm still ashamed to talk to anyone outside of nofap about PMO. However, I found that there are more videos of people who do talk about their struggles with PMO, which is very brave in my opinion. It inspires me.

 

I've just started my reboot....lots of useful resources here to explore in the coming weeks as I strive to change my old patterns of behavior.

 

Thanks @fercho29. And day 2 begins....

 

10. “I realized I was not using porn because it felt good. I came to view porn as a way to run away from pain and loneliness. " -

This. THIS is exactly the emotion. Loneliness + Been bored. I noticed ever since I stopped playing games, there has been a huge space on what to fill it in with. I do have goals, but at the same time, I ask myself are they not ambitious enough? Because one thing for sure, I do not feel the spark at all for doing some of them. I rewrite the goals that doesn't feel right, and still continue to feel unmotivated to do them.

But! I am started to learn that I am not challenged enough to do them. There is no sense of urgency, nor hardship in them, hence why I always feel unmotivated to do them. Thanks for sharing this thread, will add it to my Toolbox Folder.

 

@fercho29
You know, while I do agree with you about helping peoples at homeless shelter/children, it's not until recently I am starting to understand what Eckhart Tolle meant in his book Stillness Speaks. It's like each time when I go through it few times a year, I learn something about myself.

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A citation from his book :
" The mind exists in a state of "not enough" and so is always greedy for more. When you are identified with mind, you get bored and restless very easily. Boredom means the mind is hungry for stimulus, more food for thought, and its hunger is not being satisfied. When you feel bored, you can satisfy the mind's hunger by picking up a magazine, making a phone call, switching on the TV, surfing the web or satisfying your body with food.

Or you can stay bored and restless and observe what it feels like to be bored and restless. As you bring awareness to the feeling, there is suddenly some space and stillness around it, as it where. A little at first, but as the sense of inner space grows, the feeling of boredom will begin to diminish in intensity and significance. So even boredom can teach you who you are and who you are not " - Stillness Speaks, by Eckhart Tolle

And I can truly feel that has been the truth for the last 6 days of me just sitting in boredom, and observe the mind as if I am watching a movie. Little by little, the thought of boredom faded away on its own, and I started to think of things I can do. That's precisely another reason why I just stopped gaming, it took me a long while to actually understand the words written in Tolle's book, but now that I made a commitment towards reconnecting with myself, I am noticing that pattern.

I think this also has a core relation to forming new habits, because our mind was been fed during those time that we were bored, with something that stimulates it. And now that thing is no longer there, the mind keep asking for it or for something else to stimulate it.

Things I am doing right now, and slowly introducing other activities :
- Exercising
- Yoga (not the traditional one where you stand stiff in one pose, but a playful one that I enjoy a lot https://www.youtube.com/user/michaeltaylormoves)
- Started investing time into creating assets for other peoples on a digital goods market (Design)
- Purchased a digital tablet this week to start my learning for digital painting (Something I always wanted to do)
- Commenced with Youtube as well to share/document my journey of Design/Art (Probably will start a vlog one in foreseeable future seeing how technology is going, at one point VR is going to mix into our everyday life whether we like it or not)
- Communicating with parents and watching a movie together as family

Some other activities I will start with possibly in this year :
- Go swim once a week
- Participate in events that contributes towards the well being of island (Curacao cleanup, helping other peoples etc.)
- Explore the island, go to places I haven't been on this island before
- Mountain climbing few times a year
- Play with the dog the more often
- Meet new peoples on the internet and offline


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Oh man, hopefully I didn't bombard your thread too much, ha. I love to write, can't help it. Especially when it's related to subjects I like, and also when it comes to explaining my perspective to others.

 

Great OP! I didn't read too much here, but it inspired me. My idea: I'll use a voice-record as an Emergency Toolbox. Maybe just one message: from a moment of full success and happiness in life. (Maybe another one from after a binge, but I'm not sure if I need this, also I don't want to wait for a relapse)

 

Man this post is too brilliant! Too brilliant that it made me do my best even more. Those imageries made me disgust myself. I'm on Day 6 guys wish me luck! *fingers crossed*

Thank you thank you thank you @fercho29