Emergency Toolbox that helped me during my first 320 days of reboot

You have one of the most eyes opening post here on nofap, thanks for sharing.
 
fercho29 said:
Hi Guys:
I want to update my "Emergency Toolbox" with all the new stuff I have been compiling during these 10 and a half months.
I called "Emergency Toolbox" to some readings that I saves in my cell phone Notes to have them handy to read in "case of emergency" (meaning when I get urges).
They were very helpful, specially the first few months, when I struggled a lot and felt that I could not stand the suffering and needed to relapse.
Reading this helped me focus, and also remember how bad I felt when I started reboot and how much I have moved forward since then. Many times they saved me, I hope they will be helpful for you too.
I just wrote a few, all the rest I copied from other NoFap posts or took them from other websites or videos.




1. The NF journey (I took this from NoFap reddit, I find this is the best description of how shitty we feel as PMO addicts)


Been here for a while on this throwaway, but this is my first ever post.


I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.


Just the thoughts of:


• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.


• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.


NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.


And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.


It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.


I wish you all the best,



2. This has became my life motto, I repeat it to myself every time I feel an urge, I took it from some inspirational video:

"To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?"

"For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean."


3. "...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."
From a TED Talk inspirational video


4. Carpe Diem, seize the day, make your life extraordinary:


Why he has the right to use these lines?

…because we are food for worms. Because believe it or not, each and every one of us one day we will stop breathing, turn cold and die. They believed that they were destined for great things; their eyes were full of hope. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
Robin Williams in "Dead Poets Society"


5. I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene


6. "They are human beings, they are simple guys, they are not Adonis, some god that I need to idolize".
A recommendation from my good friend @JoeinMD


7. "It's this ethical, moral paralysis that I have been dumbfounded by many times - I've literally have caught myself going into a comatose state and becoming numb in my mind, letting my ethical voice get suspended (I've even acknowledged this happening in the past, but let it happen still), so that one lapsing moment, one-second of consent in will, relinquishes me to the downfall and shit of addiction once again. I've seen it unfold before me many times and have still chosen the sickness. "


8. “I'm worth more than a dark room wank to a pixilated babe who name you'll never even know.”


9. “There is nothing as powerful as a change of mind.
You can change everything else, but if you do not change your mind the same experiences will perpetuate over and over again because everything outwardly changes but nothing inside you changes.
If you want to change something in your life, if there is some goal you want to reach, changing your behavior and overcoming negative habits is something challenging and hard.
The only thing that will make you happy is to step up, discover what you are capable and feel that incredible power pushing though wherever is holding you back, and get to the other side.
How much time do you have left? We do not know. Stop wasting valuable time, if you want something you have to be relentless.
The ability to face sweat again and again without giving up is the power to endure, this is the winner quality. This power only becomes available when somebody is in that state of mind when he or she knows exactly what wants and is fully determined not to quit until they find it.
You are unstoppable; love your life with passion.
I've got what it takes. This is my day, and nothing out here is going to stop me.”


From "Mindshift", a motivational video.


10. “I realized I was not using porn because it felt good. I came to view porn as a way to run away from pain and loneliness.
I was feeling bad and I can just turn on porn and I can forget the world, forget myself, forget my problems; run away from everything and just lose myself for some moments.
I feel awake now, and being awake hurts but it also feels incredible.
Despite all the pleasure that you can get from porn, I do not have any cherished memories from watching porn.
I indulged in fantasy all that time and I ran away from reality.
I feel more connected to every moment in my own life now and every moment is more powerful without porn.
I love my life so much now that I am not running away from my life anymore.”


11. "This isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge."

From the movie “St. Elmo’s Fire”


12. All limiting beliefs are rooted in fear. Fear is the aversion to discomfort and pain.

Pretty much every problem we face as humans comes back to fear. This is because all of our problems come from trying to avoid discomfort and pain. This pain can be physical, emotional, or mental. This pain that we are resisting can be the pain of having to detach from a desire, the fear of moving forward in uncertainty, or the fear of facing our own truth.I believe that many people’s reliance on porn is because they have not learned how to effectively manage this stress. Porn and orgasm are such powerful levels of stimulation that they can make you forget about your worries for a while. For many people, they may feel that PMO is the only escape they have to deal with the troubles in their lives.

If you want to make your reboot easier, then you need to learn how to create your own security.

Otherwise, you risk the chance of getting overwhelmed, panicking, and turning to porn to escape the discomfort of your own self-created stress. If you feel like you aren’t creating your own stress and it’s some external circumstance’s fault, then you aren’t taking ownership of your own perceptions.

An even simpler argument is that, just by looking at the design, we can clearly conclude that the penis was made for the vagina, not the hand, and semen was made for fertilizing eggs, not for fertilizing tissues. Throw a computer screen and infinite pixilated hotties into the mix and masturbation seems anything but natural.

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy




13. “The more heavily you’ve identified with something, the more it has become a part of you. Just like when part of your body gets cut off and you feel pain, when an emotional attachment gets cut off, it hurts. This is the pain that we cannot avoid, no matter how good we are at modifying our own emotions.

Here is where the turmoil lies: your intellect realizes that the path of lust (and lack) leads nowhere truly worth going, but your subconscious wants to cling to the fleeting-but-familiar pleasures of this road. Your subconscious is afraid of finding a new path. It protests:

“What if there is no happiness to be found out there? We should keep trying lust, maybe we will be happy if we have sex with someone hot enough. If we stray from this path then we might not find anything, and if there’s nothing better out there, then we’re better off sticking with the pleasure we know we can find on this trail.”

So what we are seeing here is that in order to gain freedom, we must detach. This detachment requires that we sacrifice our current experience of comfort to eventually gain a new experience a new, less conditional, form of comfort


Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy


14. I noticed that you are a Bible reader, i think that a scripture that really ties to this is James 1:14,15, it is natural to be lured by and enticed by our wrong thoughts or desires, its when we let those thought become reality that we head down the path to death, or in the case of PMO or acting out i usually think of it as the DARKNESS because that is how it makes me feel to the core of my soul... Choosing is our defense against the addict, it is what makes us our true self, it is the reminder that we are responsible for our actions, not our every thought... keep making the right choices where ever you are in the funnel, remembering that you can still get out, and when you do, which i am sure you will again and again (because the funnel is just part of our lives even when we are beyond the current state, because sex is a natural part of our being), be proud because that is the feeling that you want to keep getting... you want the joy of success which is much stronger than the fear of failure...


15. "A Slip Does Not Need to Become a Slide":
If you slip, your addict may tell you to just keep going: ”Since you’ve already slipped, you might as well do more.” But if you start to slip, or you do slip, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to slide. What if you were on a mountainside and you slipped? Would you give up and just keep sliding until you fell off the mountain? Or would you try to get a foothold and keep climbing upward? If you slip in your recovery, you can still stop right there and just keep climbing. You might have some ground to make up, but you can do it. You have the tools.
A crisis can be a gold mine. That may sound contradictory, but it’s true. For example, if you’re triggered and you successfully resist, you will less likely to be triggered next time. We all live in worlds of chaos and unpredictable moments. When you are prepared, you can turn what could have been a slip into another positive step in your recovery.

16. I can't over-emphasize this enough......all of those white knuckle battles.....all of the moments of feeling like I was going to slip....that it was INEVITABLE that I would......feeling that even if I make it through tonight, there is no way an hell I can do this "forever". Those battles MUST be won. Over and over and over until the become less and and less frequent......and then one day its like they stop. Not because urges go away, per se......but because THE ADDICT gets tired of losing. HE learns that there is just no easy way to get us to slip. That we are ready to white knuckle and fight through ANYTHING. And once the addict realizes this, HE doesn't want to go through the pain of continued defeat.

@cpf from NoFap



17. I was sitting in my garden drinking a fruit juice. I’d just indulged in a porn fest (even though I really didn’t want to) and was feeling… weak and controlled. I no longer felt that I had a choice. The urge came on. I indulged it. I felt shit afterward. It had become a habitual cycle. I knew that I wanted to lose this addiction, but I just couldn’t find enough reason to stop. I kept rationalizing that “a little bit won’t do you any harm.”

Deep down I also knew that the little bit was getting bigger and bigger. It needed to be stopped.

The Wasp story
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great post.

I especially like point 15. In the past if I slipped I would almost always be depressed and end up binging, thus undoing all the hard work I had put in. I have learned now that a slip, even if its a very brief PMO, I would forgive myself for. I realise that the shame and guilt just makes it harder to quit the addiction. I now actually feel positive that I nipped it in the bud quickly and moved on. It is almost certain that you haven't undone most of your progress if you simply brush yourself off and keep on trucking. the relapses will come fewer and fewer until you have the mental fortitude to break it for good.

Because of this I have got myself down to less than very one brief PMO session a month, from endless 3-7 day binge relapse cycles. This is massive progress, I feel better in myself, and believe that soon enough (when I start work and sport back up in September) that I will truly be able to beat this.
 
bigboibez said:
great post.

I especially like point 15. In the past if I slipped I would almost always be depressed and end up binging, thus undoing all the hard work I had put in. I have learned now that a slip, even if its a very brief PMO, I would forgive myself for. I realise that the shame and guilt just makes it harder to quit the addiction. I now actually feel positive that I nipped it in the bud quickly and moved on. It is almost certain that you haven't undone most of your progress if you simply brush yourself off and keep on trucking. the relapses will come fewer and fewer until you have the mental fortitude to break it for good.

Because of this I have got myself down to less than very one brief PMO session a month, from endless 3-7 day binge relapse cycles. This is massive progress, I feel better in myself, and believe that soon enough (when I start work and sport back up in September) that I will truly be able to beat this.
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That’s awesome man. I used to have 4-5 PMO sessions per day during 40 years of my life
It looks now as so much wasted time and energy, I was so fucked up !
It takes perseverance but this addiction can be fought and we can wil. One battle at a time, one win every day
Stay strong
 
Thank You So mch sir
It really helped me again..i need to follow it the way i followed earlier
 
अखण्ड ब्रह्मचारी said:
Thank You So mch sir
It really helped me again..i need to follow it the way i followed earlier
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The post is really inspiring bachchaa pls follow it...There r ppl like us who too have the urges but we dont let it becm our addiction. We need to fi8 it...and I knw u can overcome it. You hv other important targets to be fulfilled. Focus on that..and u will find ur urges have come down. If there is a dream still hanging in front of ur eyes.Just grab it. Or u will lose it forever.
 
Celestia said:
The post is really inspiring bachchaa pls follow it...There r ppl like us who too have the urges but we dont let it becm our addiction. We need to fi8 it...and I knw u can overcome it. You hv other important targets to be fulfilled. Focus on that..and u will find ur urges have come down. If there is a dream still hanging in front of ur eyes.Just grab it. Or u will lose it forever.
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I don't want to loose my dream, I will achieve it. Need guidance of a guru, who can teach me how to manage my system of energies. I understand this basic fact that higher the sexual drive higher the chances of becoming successful. I just need to channelize my energy. Any advice would be f help Sir.
 
I recommend you the online course that Mark Queppet created, it is called Reforged Man and you can find it in his Universal Man site @kingbob3
It is paid but it is 100% worth it
Fercho
kingbob3 said:
I don't want to loose my dream, I will achieve it. Need guidance of a guru, who can teach me how to manage my system of energies. I understand this basic fact that higher the sexual drive higher the chances of becoming successful. I just need to channelize my energy. Any advice would be f help Sir.
Click to expand...
refo
 
Some days life feels better than others.
I have been struggling with my reboot lately.
I am having problems with my wife for the last year. She is going through her menopause, is some days very depressed, she gets aggressive with me, etc. This makes me feel sad, my self esteem gets down and urges shows up very soon.
I have been working on trying not to be affected by this, but sometimes it is very hard.
Last weekend we had a big fight and i started looking for escorts ads, with the idea of meeting one of them "as a revenge".
I know how stupid this sounds! Who I am punishing? her? Or me?
I used to be too addicted to escorts, as much as PMO. I spent thousand of dollar on them, (and a lot of time an energy too).
Every time I left their apartments (or the hotel room) I felt dirty, like shit.
Four years ago, when i was with one of them, he told me his story. He was a famous P star on a very famous gay P studio en Europe. He told me how P stars are abused, humiliated, forced to have sex without protection, raped by the owner of the studio, etc. Most of them die young, from drug abuse, domestic violence, etc.
That day I understood that watching P, or paying escorts or hookers is a felony. We are accomplices of a crime.
And I promised myself never to do it again.
Nevertheless, four years later, I am facing some challenges in my life and my marriage, and how do I respond? Instead of standing like a man and support my wife during these bad times...I behave like a child and want to hide once again behind PMO and escorts?
You know how it feels: the sirens singing, trying to attract you, promising that you will have a great time if you do it.
that all your problems will fade away. that life will be a pleasure for 10 '.
But i know better: this is a trap that the little addicted part of my brain is trying to play. It is little because I shrunk it during these past 4 years of hard work.
I should not let "the monster" get back to life.
I need to stay alert every minute, and be cautious.
This is a battle that I need to fight every day. After so many years of reboot we trend to forget that. We think that we won the war.
That is not quite right. We have won several battles, and the enemy is weak and beaten...but it is still there. Ready to wake up if we allow him.
Let's keep on fighting
Fercho
 
fercho29 said:
Hi Guys:
I want to update my "Emergency Toolbox" with all the new stuff I have been compiling during these 10 and a half months.
I called "Emergency Toolbox" to some readings that I saves in my cell phone Notes to have them handy to read in "case of emergency" (meaning when I get urges).
They were very helpful, specially the first few months, when I struggled a lot and felt that I could not stand the suffering and needed to relapse.
Reading this helped me focus, and also remember how bad I felt when I started reboot and how much I have moved forward since then. Many times they saved me, I hope they will be helpful for you too.
I just wrote a few, all the rest I copied from other NoFap posts or took them from other websites or videos.




1. The NF journey (I took this from NoFap reddit, I find this is the best description of how shitty we feel as PMO addicts)


Been here for a while on this throwaway, but this is my first ever post.


I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.


Just the thoughts of:


• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.


• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.


NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.


And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.


It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.


I wish you all the best,



2. This has became my life motto, I repeat it to myself every time I feel an urge, I took it from some inspirational video:

"To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?"

"For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean."


3. "...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."
From a TED Talk inspirational video


4. Carpe Diem, seize the day, make your life extraordinary:


Why he has the right to use these lines?

…because we are food for worms. Because believe it or not, each and every one of us one day we will stop breathing, turn cold and die. They believed that they were destined for great things; their eyes were full of hope. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
Robin Williams in "Dead Poets Society"


5. I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene


6. "They are human beings, they are simple guys, they are not Adonis, some god that I need to idolize".
A recommendation from my good friend @JoeinMD


7. "It's this ethical, moral paralysis that I have been dumbfounded by many times - I've literally have caught myself going into a comatose state and becoming numb in my mind, letting my ethical voice get suspended (I've even acknowledged this happening in the past, but let it happen still), so that one lapsing moment, one-second of consent in will, relinquishes me to the downfall and shit of addiction once again. I've seen it unfold before me many times and have still chosen the sickness. "


8. “I'm worth more than a dark room wank to a pixilated babe who name you'll never even know.”


9. “There is nothing as powerful as a change of mind.
You can change everything else, but if you do not change your mind the same experiences will perpetuate over and over again because everything outwardly changes but nothing inside you changes.
If you want to change something in your life, if there is some goal you want to reach, changing your behavior and overcoming negative habits is something challenging and hard.
The only thing that will make you happy is to step up, discover what you are capable and feel that incredible power pushing though wherever is holding you back, and get to the other side.
How much time do you have left? We do not know. Stop wasting valuable time, if you want something you have to be relentless.
The ability to face sweat again and again without giving up is the power to endure, this is the winner quality. This power only becomes available when somebody is in that state of mind when he or she knows exactly what wants and is fully determined not to quit until they find it.
You are unstoppable; love your life with passion.
I've got what it takes. This is my day, and nothing out here is going to stop me.”


From "Mindshift", a motivational video.


10. “I realized I was not using porn because it felt good. I came to view porn as a way to run away from pain and loneliness.
I was feeling bad and I can just turn on porn and I can forget the world, forget myself, forget my problems; run away from everything and just lose myself for some moments.
I feel awake now, and being awake hurts but it also feels incredible.
Despite all the pleasure that you can get from porn, I do not have any cherished memories from watching porn.
I indulged in fantasy all that time and I ran away from reality.
I feel more connected to every moment in my own life now and every moment is more powerful without porn.
I love my life so much now that I am not running away from my life anymore.”


11. "This isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge."

From the movie “St. Elmo’s Fire”


12. All limiting beliefs are rooted in fear. Fear is the aversion to discomfort and pain.

Pretty much every problem we face as humans comes back to fear. This is because all of our problems come from trying to avoid discomfort and pain. This pain can be physical, emotional, or mental. This pain that we are resisting can be the pain of having to detach from a desire, the fear of moving forward in uncertainty, or the fear of facing our own truth.I believe that many people’s reliance on porn is because they have not learned how to effectively manage this stress. Porn and orgasm are such powerful levels of stimulation that they can make you forget about your worries for a while. For many people, they may feel that PMO is the only escape they have to deal with the troubles in their lives.

If you want to make your reboot easier, then you need to learn how to create your own security.

Otherwise, you risk the chance of getting overwhelmed, panicking, and turning to porn to escape the discomfort of your own self-created stress. If you feel like you aren’t creating your own stress and it’s some external circumstance’s fault, then you aren’t taking ownership of your own perceptions.

An even simpler argument is that, just by looking at the design, we can clearly conclude that the penis was made for the vagina, not the hand, and semen was made for fertilizing eggs, not for fertilizing tissues. Throw a computer screen and infinite pixilated hotties into the mix and masturbation seems anything but natural.

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy




13. “The more heavily you’ve identified with something, the more it has become a part of you. Just like when part of your body gets cut off and you feel pain, when an emotional attachment gets cut off, it hurts. This is the pain that we cannot avoid, no matter how good we are at modifying our own emotions.

Here is where the turmoil lies: your intellect realizes that the path of lust (and lack) leads nowhere truly worth going, but your subconscious wants to cling to the fleeting-but-familiar pleasures of this road. Your subconscious is afraid of finding a new path. It protests:

“What if there is no happiness to be found out there? We should keep trying lust, maybe we will be happy if we have sex with someone hot enough. If we stray from this path then we might not find anything, and if there’s nothing better out there, then we’re better off sticking with the pleasure we know we can find on this trail.”

So what we are seeing here is that in order to gain freedom, we must detach. This detachment requires that we sacrifice our current experience of comfort to eventually gain a new experience a new, less conditional, form of comfort


Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy


14. I noticed that you are a Bible reader, i think that a scripture that really ties to this is James 1:14,15, it is natural to be lured by and enticed by our wrong thoughts or desires, its when we let those thought become reality that we head down the path to death, or in the case of PMO or acting out i usually think of it as the DARKNESS because that is how it makes me feel to the core of my soul... Choosing is our defense against the addict, it is what makes us our true self, it is the reminder that we are responsible for our actions, not our every thought... keep making the right choices where ever you are in the funnel, remembering that you can still get out, and when you do, which i am sure you will again and again (because the funnel is just part of our lives even when we are beyond the current state, because sex is a natural part of our being), be proud because that is the feeling that you want to keep getting... you want the joy of success which is much stronger than the fear of failure...


15. "A Slip Does Not Need to Become a Slide":
If you slip, your addict may tell you to just keep going: ”Since you’ve already slipped, you might as well do more.” But if you start to slip, or you do slip, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to slide. What if you were on a mountainside and you slipped? Would you give up and just keep sliding until you fell off the mountain? Or would you try to get a foothold and keep climbing upward? If you slip in your recovery, you can still stop right there and just keep climbing. You might have some ground to make up, but you can do it. You have the tools.
A crisis can be a gold mine. That may sound contradictory, but it’s true. For example, if you’re triggered and you successfully resist, you will less likely to be triggered next time. We all live in worlds of chaos and unpredictable moments. When you are prepared, you can turn what could have been a slip into another positive step in your recovery.

16. I can't over-emphasize this enough......all of those white knuckle battles.....all of the moments of feeling like I was going to slip....that it was INEVITABLE that I would......feeling that even if I make it through tonight, there is no way an hell I can do this "forever". Those battles MUST be won. Over and over and over until the become less and and less frequent......and then one day its like they stop. Not because urges go away, per se......but because THE ADDICT gets tired of losing. HE learns that there is just no easy way to get us to slip. That we are ready to white knuckle and fight through ANYTHING. And once the addict realizes this, HE doesn't want to go through the pain of continued defeat.

@cpf from NoFap



17. I was sitting in my garden drinking a fruit juice. I’d just indulged in a porn fest (even though I really didn’t want to) and was feeling… weak and controlled. I no longer felt that I had a choice. The urge came on. I indulged it. I felt shit afterward. It had become a habitual cycle. I knew that I wanted to lose this addiction, but I just couldn’t find enough reason to stop. I kept rationalizing that “a little bit won’t do you any harm.”

Deep down I also knew that the little bit was getting bigger and bigger. It needed to be stopped.

The Wasp story
Click to expand...
This was really helpful, thanks!
 
fercho29 said:
Some days life feels better than others.
I have been struggling with my reboot lately.
I am having problems with my wife for the last year. She is going through her menopause, is some days very depressed, she gets aggressive with me, etc. This makes me feel sad, my self esteem gets down and urges shows up very soon.
I have been working on trying not to be affected by this, but sometimes it is very hard.
Last weekend we had a big fight and i started looking for escorts ads, with the idea of meeting one of them "as a revenge".
I know how stupid this sounds! Who I am punishing? her? Or me?
I used to be too addicted to escorts, as much as PMO. I spent thousand of dollar on them, (and a lot of time an energy too).
Every time I left their apartments (or the hotel room) I felt dirty, like shit.
Four years ago, when i was with one of them, he told me his story. He was a famous P star on a very famous gay P studio en Europe. He told me how P stars are abused, humiliated, forced to have sex without protection, raped by the owner of the studio, etc. Most of them die young, from drug abuse, domestic violence, etc.
That day I understood that watching P, or paying escorts or hookers is a felony. We are accomplices of a crime.
And I promised myself never to do it again.
Nevertheless, four years later, I am facing some challenges in my life and my marriage, and how do I respond? Instead of standing like a man and support my wife during these bad times...I behave like a child and want to hide once again behind PMO and escorts?
You know how it feels: the sirens singing, trying to attract you, promising that you will have a great time if you do it.
that all your problems will fade away. that life will be a pleasure for 10 '.
But i know better: this is a trap that the little addicted part of my brain is trying to play. It is little because I shrunk it during these past 4 years of hard work.
I should not let "the monster" get back to life.
I need to stay alert every minute, and be cautious.
This is a battle that I need to fight every day. After so many years of reboot we trend to forget that. We think that we won the war.
That is not quite right. We have won several battles, and the enemy is weak and beaten...but it is still there. Ready to wake up if we allow him.
Let's keep on fighting
Fercho
Click to expand...
U r an inspiration to me man, u helped numerous of addicts. U had an incredible streak. You can do even much better. Pls dont involve urself anymore in that filthy and temporary world.
You must do better again n u must have happy n stable life.
Good Luck
 
fercho29 said:
Some days life feels better than others.
I have been struggling with my reboot lately.
I am having problems with my wife for the last year. She is going through her menopause, is some days very depressed, she gets aggressive with me, etc. This makes me feel sad, my self esteem gets down and urges shows up very soon.
I have been working on trying not to be affected by this, but sometimes it is very hard.
Last weekend we had a big fight and i started looking for escorts ads, with the idea of meeting one of them "as a revenge".
I know how stupid this sounds! Who I am punishing? her? Or me?
I used to be too addicted to escorts, as much as PMO. I spent thousand of dollar on them, (and a lot of time an energy too).
Every time I left their apartments (or the hotel room) I felt dirty, like shit.
Four years ago, when i was with one of them, he told me his story. He was a famous P star on a very famous gay P studio en Europe. He told me how P stars are abused, humiliated, forced to have sex without protection, raped by the owner of the studio, etc. Most of them die young, from drug abuse, domestic violence, etc.
That day I understood that watching P, or paying escorts or hookers is a felony. We are accomplices of a crime.
And I promised myself never to do it again.
Nevertheless, four years later, I am facing some challenges in my life and my marriage, and how do I respond? Instead of standing like a man and support my wife during these bad times...I behave like a child and want to hide once again behind PMO and escorts?
You know how it feels: the sirens singing, trying to attract you, promising that you will have a great time if you do it.
that all your problems will fade away. that life will be a pleasure for 10 '.
But i know better: this is a trap that the little addicted part of my brain is trying to play. It is little because I shrunk it during these past 4 years of hard work.
I should not let "the monster" get back to life.
I need to stay alert every minute, and be cautious.
This is a battle that I need to fight every day. After so many years of reboot we trend to forget that. We think that we won the war.
That is not quite right. We have won several battles, and the enemy is weak and beaten...but it is still there. Ready to wake up if we allow him.
Let's keep on fighting
Fercho
Click to expand...
I wish you all the strength to fight and thrive these trying times.
 
fercho29 said:
Some days life feels better than others.
I have been struggling with my reboot lately.
I am having problems with my wife for the last year. She is going through her menopause, is some days very depressed, she gets aggressive with me, etc. This makes me feel sad, my self esteem gets down and urges shows up very soon.
I have been working on trying not to be affected by this, but sometimes it is very hard.
Last weekend we had a big fight and i started looking for escorts ads, with the idea of meeting one of them "as a revenge".
I know how stupid this sounds! Who I am punishing? her? Or me?
I used to be too addicted to escorts, as much as PMO. I spent thousand of dollar on them, (and a lot of time an energy too).
Every time I left their apartments (or the hotel room) I felt dirty, like shit.
Four years ago, when i was with one of them, he told me his story. He was a famous P star on a very famous gay P studio en Europe. He told me how P stars are abused, humiliated, forced to have sex without protection, raped by the owner of the studio, etc. Most of them die young, from drug abuse, domestic violence, etc.
That day I understood that watching P, or paying escorts or hookers is a felony. We are accomplices of a crime.
And I promised myself never to do it again.
Nevertheless, four years later, I am facing some challenges in my life and my marriage, and how do I respond? Instead of standing like a man and support my wife during these bad times...I behave like a child and want to hide once again behind PMO and escorts?
You know how it feels: the sirens singing, trying to attract you, promising that you will have a great time if you do it.
that all your problems will fade away. that life will be a pleasure for 10 '.
But i know better: this is a trap that the little addicted part of my brain is trying to play. It is little because I shrunk it during these past 4 years of hard work.
I should not let "the monster" get back to life.
I need to stay alert every minute, and be cautious.
This is a battle that I need to fight every day. After so many years of reboot we trend to forget that. We think that we won the war.
That is not quite right. We have won several battles, and the enemy is weak and beaten...but it is still there. Ready to wake up if we allow him.
Let's keep on fighting
Fercho
Click to expand...
I see that you are missing love Fercho. You used to go to escorts. Then why not go to church now? You could meet sweet, love-filled people there and get social with them on various church events and days. I used to go to church every Sunday and still relapsed every Saturday. It made me feel guilty and unworthy. Until one Sunday moorning, when going to church right after relapse, God showed me His plan to me - He was teaching me to understand those people who I didn't understood during my big streak - people who would go to church every day and still relapse to PMO every day. It helped to understand how people are weak. Now it's not necessary go to heavy religious churches like Catholic or Lutheran. You can go to a baptist or a summer church. You are approaching the age when its time to think about the afterlife and get it right with God. He has a plan for everyone. It depends on us we are stepping into His plan or not. Sure PMO was not his plan for you but best is yet to come. Lots of love and respect from Latvia!
 
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