Empezar de nuevo.

It is a true blessing to encounter a wise teacher and we are so foolish when we don't study what such people freely give us. Mr. Eko has obviously spent a great deal of time, studying our beautiful faith and the many tools it offers for healing. There is a great deal of valuable information in what he has written. I am slowly reading and re-reading what he has given us and I continue to learn more and more from it. Truly a wonderful Christmas gift.

 

The Lord works in ways we don't anticipate and may not readily discern but He is at work in your life. The closer you draw to Him, the more you choose to do His will this year, the more good He will be able to work in your life. Let this be the year we both embrace Him completely, put complete trust in Him and learn to better discern all that He is doing for us.

 

I know this will probably make you roll your eyes, but you’re not alone, Keli. God is always with you and so is your guardian angel. You. Are. Never. Alone. It’s important we let this sink into our hearts, but even more so, we need to understand that nothing in this world can take God’s place. No human person can ever satisfy that God-shaped void in your heart. Being with a man, even in marriage, will lead to loneliness if you’re looking for that man to fill a void in your heart which only God can fill.

 

I’m not presuming to be a teacher by any means, but I will share what I’ve learned so far:

• We have to acknowledge our need for Him.
• We have to make straight the way of the Lord; meaning we have to detach from the things, desires, and people which keep us from attaching ourselves fully to Him.
• We must make Him the priority in our life. Seek you first the Kingdom and His righteousness.
• There are two things we humans do when we love something: 1. We sacrifice our time. 2. We take on suffering. No one spends time and willfully endures suffering for the things they do not love.
  
• Getting to as many daily Masses as possible is a good way to show God priority in our life, and that usually involves sacrificing our time and enduring suffering.
• All loving relationships are also built on two primary things: 1. Trust. 2. Communication.
  
• The “future” is often a place of fantasy and imagination. Reality does not dwell there often; it is primarily a place where we create mental and emotional sufferings which may or may not happen. It’s a place where we make crosses heavier, so it’s important to not spend a lot of time in such a place; I’ve found it, more often than not, to be an occasion of sin towards faith, hope, and charity.
• It was said when we pray, we talk to God, and when we read Scripture, God talks to us. It’s important to spend time reading His Word. Then read what His Church has taught regarding His Word.
• It’s important to read the works of our brothers and sisters who’ve gone before us and who enjoy the beatific vision aka the saints. Their works/writings are beneficial in staying on the right path.
• At some point we need a spiritual director and we need to pray to find one.
• Place your trust in the help of the Blessed Virgin Mary as she will guide you to her Son, Jesus. Make a promise to pray the rosary every day, no matter what, with as best devotion and attention as possible. Here is a link to a site, in Spanish, that gives little meditations before each Hail Mary to keep you grounded in the mystery -I have fond this to be incredibly fruitful; https://rosarycenter.org/es/how-to-pray-the-rosary

I know I’m missing probably a lot more, but this is what came to my mind to share with you.

 

What can we do today that intensifies our love for God? Surely, this is the real goal? Finding freedom from PMO is a huge and important step but it is not our ultimate goal, is it?

 

I think it usually takes a great deal of time to cleanse the human heart. There are exceptions of course but surely perseverance in prayer is the answer. I feel your frustration and unhappiness, I wish it would all be taken away at once but at least at this moment, that is not God's plan. We can be certain that God's plan is far wiser than any we can conceive. Remain persistent, dear lady, and you will be rewarded.

 

Some good things about your post:

• You acknowledge eroticism as being an idol in your life.
• You acknowledge a proximate occasion of sin, Instagram.
• You acknowledge your desire for connection.

What steps can you take to:

• Foster some healthy connections with others in your life?
• Remove instagram from your device; maybe have a friend/person who can setup an app restriction with a pincode?
  
• Bring the cross of loneliness to the feet of Jesus. Meditate on His loneliness; He knows too what it means to be alone and to feel forgotten/invisible by everyone. Comfort Him.
  

Maybe dating might be somewhat presumptuous right now, but are there good resources available to meet good, Catholic, men in your area? If you believe you are called to marriage, what steps are you taking to pursue it?

 

One thing is for sure, the men you may meet online whose desire is some form of erotic conversation are in the least men who are also in need of rehabilitation. There is little hope of a loving relationship, with God as a cherished third party, to be found in this way. Sum up the courage and quit these habits. Telling yourself that you cannot, is telling yourself a lie.

 

Hola Keli, Rezaré por ti, también reza por mi por favor; que me encuentro en una situación parecida a la tuya.
Dios te bendiga hermana.