A great depression has hung over my head for a long time. Whether its just because of the porn, or also just the way I've always been, my life feels like it is missing so much. I have very few connections and have never been in a real relationship. I find it difficult to make meaningful, lasting friendships that actually have substance to them. More than anything I want to live life to its fullest; for God and myself. But at this point I have no idea what I want or how to keep people in my life to the point where there is a reciprocity in the relationship; not just with a girl, but even just friends. I honestly find myself adrift with ample opportunity, but no drive or ambition. I don't know what to do.